It’s okay to feel fine one day then bad the next.

It’s okay to feel fine one day then bad the next.

One thing I’ve noticed about talking about depression is the stigma that if your depressed that means you have to be depressed 24/7. You can’t have days where you smile because clearly that would mean your faking your depression and that you’re clearly an attention seeker. This is not true.

Yes many people are in a constant loop of depression where there is no escape but some of us have days we feel okay and then crash down to the pits of depression a hour later. We can be fine all day. We can be smiling, laughing, making jokes and seem really confident. A few hours later something clicks and we can’t even move our muscles to form a smile because that’s too difficult.

We are human. Those without depression experience more than one emotion. They experience happiness, brief sadness and anxiety then they go back to happiness. So why is the stigma still there someone with depression cannot have a good day. When you put that stigma on someone it makes them think they have to fake being happy 24/7 or the opposite. The opposite is feel like they aren’t allowed to be happy. I’ve experienced this. I’ve had people make comments when I’ve had days I feel a bit better and have somewhat been told my depressions gone then! no. If my depression was gone believe me I’d be shouting from the roof tops about it.

This also works for if you have time of work with depression. A few years ago I took a few weeks of work when I worked in care because I was depressed and being bullied. When I came back to work I was treated as if I’d faked my depression as I’d came back and was even accused of not being depressed anymore because I had to pretend to be happy around my clients who picked up on negative emotions. I felt like I wasn’t entitled to smile. I wasn’t entitled to be anything other then a sad emotional mess.

People seem to get annoyed whatever you do with regards to depression. People moan when your depressed, they moan your boring or anti social, or an attention seeker. They moan if your happy. There will never be a pleasing everyone.

But know this. If you suffer depression. It is not what defines you. If you have a few days in bed down in the dumps that is okay. It is also okay to smile again. It’s okay to be happy too. You’re not an attention seeker because your chemicals in your brain have allowed you to feel positive today. You should not worry about others opinions. Why? because the only persons who’s opinions matter is your own. Because other people are not educated enough. Because until someone experiences a patch of depression themselves they will never understand what it is like to be judged for every emotion they feel!

If your reading this as someone who doesn’t have depression. Remember that they are suffering even behind the smiles. Always try to bring them up not down. Be the hand to hold, the phone all at the end of a bad day. Be a friend. Remember storms always have bright periods before the darkness creeps back for another storm.

Always here in my emails and dms, Charlie x

It is okay to talk about dark thoughts.

It is okay to talk about dark thoughts.

So this is a bit of a hard topic to talk about. As you know I am always talking about my mental health in the hope that others feel somewhat more normal in their feelings. I’ve never really divulged into the extremes my depression takes me too sometimes and perhaps it’s out of judgement, perhaps it’s the fear that I don’t want to accept I’ve ever reached that stage but I guess it’s more I’ve had a few of my friends come to me recently saying they feel the same. They also feel like they want to die at times.

Lockdown has obviously been crap for mental health. There’s been no upside in relation to mental health or physical health to me personally and it’s really taken it’s toll on me. Many others have felt the same. Without any real interaction other then via phones it’s really hard to communicate how we feel through a text. My counselling has been cancelled with no light at the end of the tunnel, no communication and no online sessions. I would normally take Elijah out daily and we’d see friends at-least 3/4 days of the week to get out and about . Now we are all stuck in with no communication. There is just no ability to feel better and being stuck at home means I’m stuck with my feelings. Many, many others are in the same position.

I have many times in my life become engulfed by my depression. Where I wouldn’t want to wake up in the morning, where I would rather die then start the day again. I wanted to die. I thought about how quick and easy it would be. I never wanted to kill myself. I never wanted to do anything about those thoughts but I did feel the world would be better of without me. I wanted to stop the pain. I wanted to stop the dark clouds that engulfed every moment of my life. It was hard. The only thing that kept me going was the thought of leaving my husband and son behind. I sort of became a human on autopilot not really thinking and doing things such as cooking and cleaning away and talking but not really being present to experience it. My body was here but I wasn’t. I was watching over unable to feel.

I hit a point I couldn’t take it anymore and had a breakdown. I found having a breakdown and ugly crying helped. Talking about my feelings to my husband is what was the breakthrough. Getting the words out, getting the feelings out was what I needed. The hurt, the pain and my feelings all in the air and I felt heart and safer. I spoke to my gp and my anti depressants fiddled around with again.

It is so important to speak when you have these thoughts. To tell your loved ones and get the thoughts and pressure off your head. It is okay to feel this way and while it’s not normal you can talk about how you feel. You are loved, somebody will always care about you and there is always someone you can talk too even if you don’t know them.

If you feel this way always speak about it. The people you speak to won’t judge. You can always call 111, the Samaritans and many other charity’s. You can call your friends, family, doctors or even just look online about your feelings. The storm will pass. You will breath again and feel better one day, it may not be today, tomorrow or next week but the calm will come. You will not be judged for having these thoughts. You will not be sectioned or anything like that for the thoughts. Feeling like you want to die is different to being suicidal and taking steps into it or planning it. If you ever get to a stage you are making plans it is time to take yourself to a hospital or talk to anyone who’ll listen.

The more you talk the more it lifts. The more better you feel. The more that heavy ness melts away with our tears. We get into our heads that everyone will judge us and that it’s not okay. Like we can’t have these thoughts. As parents we can’t have these thoughts because we’ll we’re parents. We apparently can’t ever have feelings of being down and can only ever be happy. This is not true. Anyone can experience depression. It doesn’t make you weaker, it doesn’t make you crazy it just means you feel so deeply that sometimes you can’t get out of those feelings. You’re not an attention seeker. You’re loved. You’re wanted, you’re existence matters and the world would be a shittier place with out you in it. Yes we can’t stop the worlds current situation, we can’t stop the bad news, the hurt and life events. But we can talk about it. We can process it and we can fight another day.

My inbox is always open. Charlie x

Mental health brain fog

Mental health brain fog

So as it’s mental health awareness week I thought I’d talk about my personal struggle today with one of the symptoms of anxiety and depression. Brain fog. Basically confusion and a inability to focus or really understand what’s happening at times. I did this post for the lovely Ellie over at https://alifetwintastic.blog and wanted to add to my blog to in hope it may resonate with someone.

I’ve suffered mental health issues since childhood and really sort of came to terms with it as I got a diagnosis in my teenage years. I was diagnosed with ocd, depression and anxiety. Yeah three lovely things to have all at one but hey ho. Medication and therapy later I go through stages of feeling okay and then a bit crappy again. 

Since lockdown started I’ve kind of been stuck on fight or flight mode going between the two constantly. Trying to accept what’s happening and then not. It’s been a bit of a rollercoaster on my emotions and truth be told being in lockdown with children can be a bit rubbish. I don’t love my son any less by admitting he can be a handful at times and that doesn’t make me a bad mum, but sometimes I wonder if he just enjoys being naughty at times. Obviously this has had a huge toll on my depression and anxiety and I’ve sort of developed brain fog again from it. 

My brain fog sort of stops me talking to people at times or making no sense when I talk. I tune out. I can’t be bothered, I just can’t be in the moment. I can’t watch telly or read a book or really engage in any adult conversation at times. I often get confused on things I have to do like replying to messages and just don’t have the energy to go through with it. I often also just get the biggest headaches from it too. Don’t worry I’ve already had a mri and no Tumor (well yet). 

I find brain fog really hard to deal with because sometimes I feel like I’m not living my own life. I’m surviving but it’s like I’m watching myself like I’m on autopilot as I write this blog post now I’ve been planning for days i just don’t feel here or present.  I sometimes feel a bit light and complete sensory over load and can’t concentrate until it’s fixed. I feel clothes might be tight, noises are too loud, being touched makes me feel on edge and being spoken to constantly completely drains me. It’s hard to turn of and just relax. My brains defending myself in its own little way from a incredible amount of stress the way it knows how. 

Obviously it’s not normal and not great so I reached out to the doctors. Of course the doctors upped my medication and I have a review in a weeks time. If you ever feel like this I strongly suggest you reach out and give your gp a call to try talk through your symptoms. 

I think we always talk about our mental health but never the toll it can have on just living at times. Mental health isn’t just emotional it turns into physical symptoms. Take my Functional neurological disorder for example. I can loose function sometimes to my body and that’s how my body deals with stress. So for now I’m stuck in the what’s going on stage but it is okay. I know I’ll come out the other side. I’m functioning, living and talking normally just having problems processing it all. I’m grateful to be here safe and well and for my brain hanging on as well as it can. 

Thanks, Charlie xx

Finding out I have a neurological disorder:

Finding out I have a neurological disorder:

This is something I have been struggling to come to terms with and with my health anxiety at a high I tried as hard as I could not to research my disorder but I decided it was in my best interest to know what I’m battling. So basically, a few months ago I found out I have functional neurological disorder. It’s been quite upsetting to accept but I guess it’s a part of me now and something I just have to take in whether I want to or not.

How I found out I have functional neurological disorder:

To cut a long story short, I had INTENSE shoulder pain radiating from my arm to my chest. I put of going to the doctors due to trying to over come my health anxiety and i was sent to the doctors by counsellor who could see i was getting breathless from the pain. When i got there my arm had started to become numb and i thought it was just a seriously intense pulled muscle. They where worried and sent me immediately to the hospital. When i arrived i had numerous neurological work ups, bloods and x-rays and a ct scan. They believed i had a stroke but after the ct scan couldn’t pick up anything i was sent home with very strong painkillers and told to come back if it got no better. A few days later i lost function completely in the arm. I ignored it but then i got so much pain in my chest i had a asthma attack from struggling to breath. I called 111 where they where going to send a ambulance out again worrying i’d had a stroke. Instead we drove to a and e after waiting and cancelled the ambulance. After being in a and e again they did more extensive checks this time and after being poked and prodded by around 8 different people we came to a conclusion i needed more tests. The stroke team came down this time and could see i had lost function and worked out my reflexes are less down one side of body and on that side i couldn’t feel as much and was a lot weaker than my other side. I was sent for a MRI scan and sent to the stroke ward. They discovered after more testing that i have functional neurological disorder. I was discharged with not much information other then a website and a letter confirming to my doctor i have functional neurological disorder.

What is functional neurological disorder?

Basically suffers with functional neurological disorder have problems with their nervous systems functioning. It effects the signals by brain wants to send to my body parts. The body wants to communicate something and cannot. The messages get confused and this causes the body to be confused. The pain is real. The symptoms are real. The symptoms are very similar to those who are experiencing/have experienced a stroke and very similar to those suffering other neurological problems such as MS.

The symptoms of functional neurological disorder:

  • Non epileptic seizures.
  • numbness.
  • Inability to use a part of the body.
  • Conversion disorder.
  • Weak limbs.
  • Confusion.
  • Fatigue.
  • Paralysis.
  • Speech issues.
  • Numbness/ tingling feelings.
  • Pain.
  • Vision disturbance.
  • Tremors.
  • Spasms.
  • Irritable bowel and increased urination.

Causes of functional neurological disorder:

  • Childhood trauma.
  • Mental health issues.
  • Chronic pain (yay endometriosis).
  • Stress

Is there a cure?

In short no. Study’s have shown that Physiotherapy and counselling can help individuals but it is not completely effective. Pain relief can help but again does not cure and you could become addicted from taking pain killers to frequently.

Will I get worse?

At the moment I have no idea what will happen. Some days are better then others with the pain. I’m normally okay and then after some sort of stress or over working myself I’m in pain again. For now I try not to think of the future and think of today. I’m grateful for my family and friends and my health I have today. I won’t worry about the future until I’m firmly in it.

As always thanks for reading love Charlie x

Weekly counselling

Weekly counselling

It’s a bit weird thinking about all these things that just randomly come up. Things that have happened to me and I have buried to protect myself. I’m getting to know myself finally. I think I try so hard to protect myself that I don’t even know who I am. It’s been therapeutic being able to be somewhere I feel safe to talk to someone about my feelings and my past. Someone who doesn’t know me and cannot pass judgement. It’s odd how trauma attaches itself to your memory and gets tangled up in all past experiences and you don’t even know it.

I’ve gone from going every few weeks to weekly which I think has been quite a shift. A good shift non the less as I’m more trusting and I feel I have a better relationship with my counsellor. She has picked up one of the biggest issues I have is trust. Trusting people to let my guard down and trusting people not to abandon me or hurt me. So I think creating a better relationship by seeing each other more is helping me to open up more. Last week I was actually enthusiastic about going to counselling. When I first came in I barely spoke and felt uncomfortable but the more I’ve gone the more comes out and the better I feel after.

I feel a weight is lifted of my shoulders immediately and I am able to think a bit clearer every time. I’m able to understand why I feel a certain way about certain thinks and how I process situations. Personally I think my childhood has a very big input into my behaviour and thought process. I have spent so long thinking everyone hates me and that I’m the issue when i am not. I worry everyone I love will leave me and I think it’s made me scared and a bit bitter. I am slowly understanding how to deal with my emotions which has been great and I think I might even be able to come if my anti depressants soon. I’m starting to take more time for me and for my family and to voice my emotions instead of holding them in incase j upset someone. I’ve got a long way to go but I’m so proud I’ve stuck to it and kept too a weekly appointment even if childcare can be a struggle. I know I need this for me and will continue trying to make myself better however I can. I have another counselling session today and I’m feeling positive not scared and I never thought I would be here today feeling this good.

Being brave.

Being brave.

To many it would seem I was a loner in a cafe by myself. It would look like I was waiting for someone or I have no friends, but that wasn’t the case. I was quite simply being brave. I’m quite socially anxious when out on my own. Especially since having a child, walking through town with Elijahs become somewhat my security blanket. Even though I would sit in a cafe with Elijah being alone is something that scares me quite a bit. The anxiety that people are staring and judging is just a bit too much for me. I hate waiting for people on my own in public let alone being on my own and I actively avoid going out on my own.

On Friday after counselling I did something I would never normally do, I went to a cafe on my own. I ordered a drink and cake and didn’t rush myself. I sat there and just relaxed into my own company. I felt anxious at first walking in and sitting alone but I soon got to grips with the fact nobody cared and quite enjoyed myself. Small steps are big steps and one day I hope my anxiety will go but for now I’m trying little things to make myself a bit more happy.

My first session of counselling.

My first session of counselling.

Today I went to my first proper counselling session. It felt odd but it was good. We touched on my upcoming surgery and how it’s causing me anxiety. We spoke about how I felt in my pregnancy and after my birth because that’s what triggered my worry about my upcoming abdominal surgery. We also touched on a few issues about childhood and my ability to block myself off and fall out with others.

At first I felt awkward, I found the woman quite condescending and being there stupid. But then I realised I’m defending myself and this woman is just nice and trying to work our why I’m here and help me. As the session went on it was a lot of me talking and her listening. She asked certain questions and it got me to respond and delve in deeper. She allowed me to feel safe and she seemed to give me time to feel, it felt like she was waiting for me to cry but I didn’t. I think I was to tense being my first time to fully let my guard down. I spent a lot of time looking at the door or at my cup of tea to try and avoid looking at her as it made me feel uncomfortable and like I’d cry.

I felt like I had a safe space to talk, I did not have to hide here as I didn’t know the woman. It made me feel oddly like I could open up. I think because I knew that’s what you do in counselling that it helped me. I’m not going to talk in big deal about what was uncovered today or overthought but I know that this was the first step. The first step to recovery is accepting help and I’ve done that. I’ve also accepted today that I have a lot of issues to work through and that I can feel better if I get it off my chest. Immediately after leaving I felt lighter. Emotionally and physically. I felt a bit more empowered. She helped me to decide to cancel my operation till I’m ready again and to allow myself to deal with that. She’s helped me realise that I’m not a bad person and that I’m not to blame for everything that happened to me.

I’m excited to see how the rest of my journey will go and how it’ll help me learn to control my thought process. I’m looking forward to feeling more in control and taking steps to be happy.

Apps I find help my mental health.

Apps I find help my mental health.

When your phone is always in your hand it’s quick and easy to download apps that can help when you’re in a bad place.

I downloaded calm harm first. It’s been the best app ever for me. It’s completely personalised and you need a password so nobody else will open it. It’s made for people thinking about self harming but I find the excercise a are good for depression, anxiety and stress relief too. The activities are short or long and you can stop and change activities and choose what you want to do. I find the distraction helpful and some of the activities relaxing or even quite fun.

The nhs wellbeing is more understanding of where mental health effects the body and keeping a little diary of how your feeling like a free self help journal.

Companion is really good because they’re excercise a for breathing and exercising people talk through while you meditate.

Catch it is understanding your thoughts and changing them. A bit like cbt therapy in a app. You write how you where feeling then access what someone else would say in that situation to your thoughts and can make you feel a bit better.

Sleepio is about activities to help you sleep, it’s okay not the best but it’s better than nothing!

My personal self is basically a personal cbt app with other types of therapy mixed in too. You complete questioners and keep a diary so it is all based around you, you work through modules that help too!

It’s all about finding what works for you. I’ve be. Through loads of terrible apps but these are what I’ve found works for me. Distract yourself how ever you feel works for you!

Things I do to calm myself down.

Things I do to calm myself down.

We’ve all been stressed, depressed, anxious and worked up at some stage in our life and we will be again. Instead of dwelling in your emotions you need to try to separate yourself from these emotions with some self help tools and objects even if it feels impossible. Sometimes just looking out the window and watching how the rain falls can make us feel better just for that second.


I’m not saying colouring in is going to cure your depression because it most definitely hasn’t cured mine but distraction can help even for a little bit. So what do I do to distract myself so I can relax just a tad?


I read. Reading is really great for your mental health. It’s somewhat changed my life, when I’m stressed I’ll start a new book and read till I feel a bit better. My imagination is put elsewhere and I don’t sit there over thinking as I am distracted. I find the kindle a brilliant tool for this as you can buy a book immediately and read it so you don’t have to choose a book you have and you don’t have to wait you can just do it now!


I use my fidget cube. It has different textures and things to do like a switch, buttons and dials. I play with it in my pocket when I’m out and feeling particularly anxious or if I’m watching tv on the sofa and feeling I can’t calm down. The switch on it has really helped my ocd I don’t flip the house switches as much just the one on my cube.


I journal. I have several self help books which involve me talking about my day, what went wrong and can go better. It enables positive thoughts and makes me think. I find the smallest things to be proud of myself for or went right today and try to be “mindful”.


I colour. Colouring is very therapeutic and occupying the mind is too. I’m not talking colouring a basic baby colouring book dog but intricate designs that take time. I have several and my favourite two are my cath kidston colouring book and my swear word one which I do when I’m feeling angry about something. Yes it’s crude but instead of swearing I colour it in and Elijah can’t read yet so I see no issue.

I look back at photos. I look at photos of happier times and remind myself life can be good and I will smile again.


I burn candles. I burn candles and use in sense/essential oils to relax myself. The smells and soft flows can relax me and not feel so over stimulated by everything going on around me.


I watch a film or series. I distract myself watching something new or old and try to commit all my focus into this. It doesn’t always work but sometimes if I don’t feel up for much this little activity is enough to keep me calm.


I practice self care. I’ll have a nice candle lit bubble bath or hot shower. I’ll use my best products, exfoliate and then I’ll moisturise so I’m slippery enough to belong in the ocean. I’ll wear fresh pjs and change the bedding. I’ll spend time doing my hair and if I’m going out I’ll do my make up.


I’ll do housework. Although I mostly hate housework when I’m feeling particularly over whelmed I reach for a cloth and clean. Having everything clean and tidy makes me feel good so I’ll get to scrubbing the house to take out my emotions. I’ve been known to have a cry washing up at times and feel miles better after.


I cook and bake. I love making yummy treats so when I can I like to bake or cook something new which gives me a bit of a boost when it tastes somewhat decent.


I go for a walk. I take myself or my son with me if nobody’s home to watch him and walk through nature. I take in the worlds beautiful views and smell the natural air and it almost always makes me feel more open minded and clear. It helps me make decisions in stressful situations and I work our anger I have built up sometimes.


I buy stuff. I indulge in buying a new ornament or new top or toy for my kid. I love buying new bits and a treat always makes me feel better.
I go out and see friends or family. Something about being around others at times just makes you feel okay again.


I have a hot drink. Warning myself up makes me feel warm and cuddly and it can help me relax into myself and let my walls down.

I sit in the dark and relax. I try to rationalise my thoughts and relax into myself . No stimuli works for me.

I turn my phone off and avoid the news. I avoid negativity, and there’s plenty of that at our finger tips I can feel so much better when I don’t use my personal social media or read news articles on politics or horrible disasters that have happened.


I go out for the day. Staying in can make you feel lonely and horrid so going out for a adventure can make you feel so much better.


I listen to music. Either loud when I’m angry or relaxing music when I’m sad to listen to the music and calm myself down.


I use White noise. It not only helps me sleep I also use it to make myself feel safe when I’m over stimulated or out and nervous about something like an appointment. I also like to watch the rain and they’d why I like thunderstorm sounds the most.


I talk to someone. When I feel particularly bad I speak to someone about it and I feel a load is taken of my chest and sometimes we need help.

it’s all about finding things you like to do that occupy your mind. For example my husband likes playing video games or editing photos he’s taken. He’ll sit there for hours but he always feels better afterwards. Sometimes things get hard and that’s okay. Sometimes you need to be selfish and do things for you and that’s okay too. Just remember that you matter too and you can get through this. Distraction is a short term fix and if your are suffering talk to someone or your gp. As always my inbox is always open.

Unwind

Unwind

Have that bath, eat that chocolate bar and scent your room with candles because it’s time to chill tf out.

Everyday we get ourselves in such a stress and forget to take time for us. To unwind, to get patterns where a certain routine makes us feel calm. So put your phone on charge, close your eyes and breathe. Take a few minutes for yourself. When it all gets to much just have a few selfish seconds because you need it.

Work stress, family and friends, just personal things getting you down and don’t know how to escape it? Switch off. One thing I’ve learnt recently is the need to be selfish. We only get one life so we do we spends our life’s miserable and wanting to stop sometimes. We’re human we feel so much more stronger which is both a blessing and a curse! Sometimes I envy some animals because they seem to have it made!

How to unwind? Well it’s all about finding what works for you. I might say go make a cup of tea and sit down for five minutes but you could a caffeine aversion or it may stress you having caffeine as it gives you more energy. So I’ll give you some suggestions and if you like them try them, If not maybe it’ll give you some ideas into what you could do to unwind.

First of all an easy grounding one. Breathing. If you’re feeling stressed and can’t escape a situation just take a breath. Stop close hour eyes and concentrate on your breathing, feel your body moving and your organs working together. Feel your mind unwind and try to relax into it. Rationalise you’re thoughts and come back to the room. If you’re really up against stress then excuse yourself for a moment and do it in private. Take yourself to a bathroom or staff room if at work or just any room you can to just take a minute to yourself. I found this helpful in my old job when things would get to much I’d take a step back and breath to calm my self and slow my anxious mind. Since becoming a mum I find this one of the easiest tools I use to just take a step back and be calm and rational. Having a screaming, tantrum throwing Grenade that is your toddler can really cause you to get worked up at times. But we don’t want to meet fire with fire and give them the attitude they give us. Of course sometimes things get to much and you might become the “shouty parent”. But how do we stop getting to that stage? I’ve had a few days recently when the tantrums have been constant, embarrassing and heart breaking. I’ve wanted to cry and scream and it’s exhausted me. I’ve found that when he’s having a monumental tantrum because he can’t hold your used tissue or something as absurd as that it can help. I feel the stress, embarrassment and defeat in me so I take a step back. I close my eyes and breath I remind myself he doesn’t understand how to explain how he feels and then think in my head how to explain things to him in a calm way. If he’s been pretty full on all day and the few seconds don’t help then I will leave him watching tv and stand in the kitchen for a minuite I’ll do the breathing and calm myself and come out a new person.

Secondly have some water. Have a nice drink, waters best as it’s healthy and best for you. It’ll refuel you and help you think clearer. Taking the time to just drink and relax can make you feel miles better. Ever wondered why you always accept a cup of tea or coffee when at work when you’re not even thirsty and may have had 16527 cups already today? Your body is starved of water and it always makes you feel better.

Self care is probably the most important thing you can do unwind. When you’re feeling particularly in a dark spot in can feel impossible to want to look after yourself but you must. Force yourself to run a warm bath, shove a ridiculously funky bath bomb in and light yourself some candles. Turn the light of, get in and close your mind of. Don’t take your phone in the bathroom so you can fully disengage. Exfoliate and pamper yourself. Wash and condition you’d hair slowly feeling how it feels as you do it. Sink into the bubbles and just unwind into the warm ness. Warm water comforts us and sitting in a smell explosion tub helps even more. Once out Put a face mask on, moisturise, dry your hair nicely. Put on some fresh pjs and enjoy the feeling. It’s amazing how much just having a wash can help you feel.

Treat yourself, if you can afford to treat yourself every now and then absolutely do it! Buy that cute top! Buy a nice chocolate bar, buy a new book, buy whatever it is that makes you feel happy. Just think about that feeling you get when you first wear/use or eat a treat and how you’ll feel then. Why shouldn’t you buy something if it’ll make you happy!

Turn your phone off when you’ve done what you need to on it. It’s easy to fall down the rabbit hole of instagram, Facebook then twitter. You’ll spend the nights looking through carelessly stressing yourself and it’s really unneeded. Perhaps just turn it off for little time sections and then increase it. Use that time doing something else. I use the time to read. I love reading because it takes me away to a far away place. It takes me out of reality for a little while and my mind and emotions are stretched. It helps me unwind and instead of reading how someone doesn’t like some chocolate bar they brought online my brains out to something better.

Journal. Write down your feelings it helps, whether it’s in a book or like me in the form of the blog sometimes it helps to get the thoughts out from your head and into the real world.

Talk to someone. Try to talk to a friend or family member about your feelings and let them out. Talk about random rubbish and just try to live in the moment. Try to enjoy conversations where you’re not distant thinking of other things switch off because I guarantee the things your thinking odd are not that important.

It’s all about finding what’s good for you but this what just works for me. When I’m in a stressful situation or dark place I try to use these as much as I can and it normally works. Just taking the time to rationalise yourself and disengage is sometimes all we need.