London v Ipswich: What it’s like being single in each. (A guest post by @itsallcominguprosy )

London v Ipswich: What it’s like being single in each. (A guest post by @itsallcominguprosy )

Hi everyone,

First thing first, I am not Charlie. Underwhelming, I know. 

My name is Ella and I run the lifestyle blog, It’s All Coming Up, Rosy. I’ve known Charlie since high school, and as we’re both bloggers, we decided to combine forces and do a guest blog for one another. Are you excited? I’m excited.

Now, you all won’t know this but I live in London right now, and I’m also very single/ may be in love with my ex-boyfriend. Oh, I know, it’s super healthy.

So, keeping all that in mind, I wanted to do a little blog post about what it is like being single in London compared to being single in Ipswich. Brace yourselves.

London: 

The club scene

I can’t begin to describe to you how much fun it is to dress up with my housemates, get ridiculously drunk, take an abundance of pouty selfies and go out in London. The clubs are stupidly expensive, but there’s always an Instagrammable gimmick or deal to pull you in, and you can always guarantee an incredible night out. There’s nothing quite like stumbling through the City not knowing what may happen, not knowing with who, but either way, there will be someone new everywhere you look.

The men 

The men in London are a different breed. Sometimes it feels like London is a very arrogant, very exclusive club I get to be apart of it. It has its downfalls – the feeling of needing to look a certain way, act certain way, live in a certain area. But it has its perks. 

Because with it, comes the men. The choice of any kind of person. Pop on any dating app and you will find the arrogant, incredibly attractive bankers, the Shoreditch artist types, the out-of-my-league Instagram models, the dreamy expats… you get the picture.

It doesn’t matter whether I’m even dating or not, but the choice is there and that’s part of the fun and temptation.

The London standard

I have a friend who was seeing a guy who took them to THE SHARD on their first date. Like? She didn’t even really like him, but goodness, that’s setting a high standard.

And with an abundance of things to do, you never get bored in London. That means no chance of a boring date.

If you want something touristy, head to one of the numerous landmarks. You got some money to burn? Go down to Kensington and Chelsea. Feeling bougie restaurant? There’s plenty.

It’s all very impressive. 

The attitude

No one cares what you do in London. No one will question you, or query. There are so many different people doing different things that when it comes to dating, it doesn’t matter how you go about it.

One week, I went on three different dates. I was so tired, but I had so much fun. But no one questioned me or my motives, they just asked me how they went.

A couple of months ago I was clubbing at G-A-Y, I met a sweet girl and got her number. No one cares. You just do what you like, with whoever you like.

Ipswich:

The club scene 

The club scene is… well, limited in Ipswich. 

It’s not a bad thing, you know exactly what you’ll get from each place. In fact, there’s something quite comforting about getting dressed up, going round a friend’s house, getting wasted and then going out. It’s innocent, tender.

And it’s also great being able to walk home. I don’t recommend you do it, at all. And I really shouldn’t. But I’ve walked home many times in Ipswich and it’ll take about 40 minutes, in heels. One time, I walked home drunk in London, in converse, and it took me over an hour. 

That was a very fuzzy night. 

The men 

What an interesting breed they are in Ipswich… 

My main problem with dating in Ipswich is that I already know everyone. Sometimes I’ve gone on Tinder just to see who I know on there, it’s a very easy and fun way to kill 10 minutes.

Not only that, but here’s a snapshot of the type of men on there: Lad, Lad, some boy named Callum, Lad, Farmer, Lad, Lad, Drug dealer. The dating pool isn’t exactly large, and while London’s men may be much of the same and more arrogant, at least, there’s more hope. 

The Ipswich standard

Now, I’m actually a big relationship girl. So, bar me dating in London, I haven’t been on too many dates in Ipswich as an adult. I moved to Birmingham for university at 18-years-old, and then came back at 21 and was in a relationship with an Essex boy six months later. 

So, our first date, we went to a pub and then went to Zizzi’s. No problem what-so-ever. Not nearly as fun as London, but with limited resources, it can’t be helped.

Our second date though was delightful. The company helped a lot, but we went to Felixstowe and played arcade games and walked on the beach.

Ipswich can be lovely, just in a different way. 

The attitude 

Here’s Ipswich’s main problem. Everyone knows everything about everyone. You bump into your neighbour, who’s hairdresser is a girl you went to school with.

The links are too close for my personal liking. I can’t get away with anything here without someone else knowing about it.

While it may be a nice, tight-knit community for some, for me, it just feels like a lot of people know about my dating life.

But hey, you can’t have it all. 

And… that sums it up from me. I’m going to go swipe on Tinder now. 

Stay safe, 

Ella

You can follow Ella’s word press here: https://rosytintedview.wordpress.com/

Follow her Instagram: @itsallcominguprosy

Also check her for all your writing needs! https://ejwrites.co.uk

Don’t let your boyfriend keep you from your husband.

Don’t let your boyfriend keep you from your husband.

The other day i was scrolling facebook and this quote caught my eye “don’t let your boyfriend keep you from your husband”. It spoke to past me and how i viewed my past boyfriend as my world. We got together when i was 16 and he was my first long term boyfriend. When you’re in a relationship you can’t see your own worth. And although i think everything happens for a reason i wish i knew my worth back then and how stupid i was. First of all he was a few years older than me and that should of been the first warning sign but i was young and nieve. I was finishing school and he was of an age to go out drinking every night. He treated me like crap and i never saw it, i think when you’re young and rebellious you never see it. Despite spending almost every night crying and being basically used for three years i decided i had enough of wasting my time and decided to move on with my life. Immediately i felt better, learned to love myself and got to know myself more. Dated and got to know what i wanted in a guy. Then one day along came my husband and changed me and my life for the better.

Know your worth if you are not happy, you do not have to stay because it’s easy and all you know. You do not have to settle and you certainly deserve more. If you’re having more bad times then good times and your relationship gets tedious then it’s enough. You deserve more. If you spend time crying because of how someone makes you feel then know your worth. You should’t stay with someone who ever makes you doubt yourself.

There is always someone better out there.Your person is out there and as painful and heartbreaking as a break up can be the right person is out there. Someone who will treat you how you deserve to be treated and more. Someone who teaches you not only to love but also to love yourself. Someone who fills your heart with happiness and doesn’t need changing or want to change you. Someone who laughs at your terrible jokes, smiles at you with sleep in your eyes, a birds nest hair do and ignores your terrible morning breath. Someone who knows how you like your coffee and brings you one in the morning without having to ask. You cannot change someone no matter how hard you try or they say they want to change. You just have to decide what is better in the long run, you only get one life. Leaving my boyfriend is the best thing i ever did because if i wouldn’t of left i wouldn’t be happy. I wouldn’t sitting here happily married in our home and a parent. I probably would still be living at home stuck in a boring loop of arguments and annoyance.