Get to know me

Get to know me

So i thought id pop on to write a little bit about myself due to my increased readers recently. First of all thank you for taking the time to read my blog posts. I cannot express how much it means to me that anyone reads my blog. My blog is my online journal basically and i guess you guys, my readers are already in my brain but i thought maybe people would want to know a bit more about the persons whos head your in. So without further adue lets get to know me.

So hello, My name is Charlie-Jane and i am 25 years old. I come from a small town in Suffolk in the united kingdom. Where i come from im quite lucky. I live in a town with quite a few shops and regular public transport that can get you wherever you need too. There is lots of countryside and beaches near me so i am spoilt for naturals beauty. I love going on long walks and taking photos, some would say photography is a bit of a hobby of mine. You’ll always catch me taking a photo of something and my camera often comes everywhere with me. I also love eating out and enjoy eating in restaurants and getting coffee with my friends. I love spending hours in a bookshop choosing a handful of books and getting lost running my fingers along the stacks and peeping a read of the blurb before eventually walking to the counter with my heavy stack. I love unwinding at home with a good book. I love reading and getting lost and escaping the world for a little bit. I love a bit of everything to be honest and i couldn’t put my finger on a single book genre i love more than another. I will admit though i’m more partial to being lost in another world then this world at times.

I also enjoy watching films. We love trips to the cinema and always have. I used to have cinema card and would go at least 3 times a month to the cinema. I would normally get a tango ice blast, a baskin and robins and escape to a film. At home i am an avid fan of watching new things and watch Netflix, prime, now tv and more all the time. My favourite series of all time is greys anatomy. I will re watch it at least once a year. I will also sob like a baby every time.

I love skincare and make up. I suffer with rosacea so i am very fixated on managing my skincare and beauty regime. I love shopping trips to boots and love reading in magazines and looking at instagrams recommendations. I love nothing more than having a full on pamper session. Nothing beats a full cleanse and a full body moisturising sesh. I love trying new make up.I love trying new things i wouldn’t normally try. I love finding something that works for me and i love when i get to go out somewhere nice for the day and put some make up on. I love being able to hide my redness and breakouts and feeling pretty for a few hours.

i enjoy trying to cook new things. I don’t enjoy cooking but i do enjoy trying something new and being creative in the kitchen. When i am super stressed i bake a lot of unhealthy but tasty treats. Some weekends i make pancakes when i am in a good mood and its the perfect way to start my day. My favourite food is chicken and leek bake. No idea why! My favourite drink is a starbucks chocolate chip frappe with caramel. My favourite sweet treat is chocolate, It has to be dairy milk always!

I used to work as a volunteer teaching assistant, i then worked as a support worker for people who suffered with learning disabilities and difficulties, i also worked with youth offenders and asylum seekers. I then worked in endoscopy for a few years before deciding to become a stay at home mum. I’ve learned so much in my past careers but i am happiest being a stay at home mum.

I met my husband just over 6 years ago. We dated a few months and then made things official. With James everything felt like i was in some sort of a movie. We have been like magnets since we first started dating i think when its real love you can’t describe it, you just feel full and happy. Pure happiness. We moved out together after about 5 months and then we got engaged after 2 years. We planned to start trying for a baby and brought our first house. We fell pregnant with elijah at 22 and we love being parents. We work together as parents and spending time as a family.

i suffer with numerous mental and physical health issues which can be very debilitating. I try to not filter these parts of me out because i want to be honest. I want others to know they are not alone in their struggles. Since becoming a mum it is even harder to ignore my emotions now. I want Elijah to grow up and know that its okay to talk about mental health issues. I also try to be honest about parenting because i myself get upset reading people only talking about the best parts of parenting at times. I want to lead by example to other parents that its okay to struggle and to talk about our emotions. It doesn’t make us bad parents.

I’m scared of death and the dark which is silly i know. Flying things freak me out as well as anything that slithers. I love autumn and hate the summer. I spend the whole time a sweaty self conscious mess. I love the rain and dancing around my kitchen to garage music or indie music from my youth. I love watching films that make me ugly cry. I have a late night snack every night even if i am not hungry and i have become a creature of habit. I want to cry when there is no chocolate in the house. I used to dream of being a mp and changing the world but knew i would never have a chance. I also wanted to be a comedian in high school and look at how that went. I always wanted to be a wife and mother and i completed those goals. I always thought id learn to be a odp and stay in healthcare but i guess my ambitions changed after having Elijah. I don’t think i ever wanted to admit it but i guess it just sort of happened.

Anyway i guess that’s me, In all my boring glory. I’m always up for making new friends so as always my dms are open. Thank you for reading my drool, charlie.

Petit fernand

Petit fernand

Contains gifted items for review.

I was sent some lovely bits from from Petit Fernand the other day and I have to say I adore them. They where so easy to create and the quality is so high. There are so many products to choose from but I chose a drawstring bag for Elijahs toys and a water bottle. I’ll talk you through the personalisation now!

So first of all you choose what you want. Then you can choose a pattern from lots of choices. You then can customise font and colour. You can have what you want written on there too. I decided to go with Elijahs name on the bottle and Elijah’s little bag of wonder for his toy bag. Elijah helped choose which patterns and products he wanted. He’s dinosaur mad and animal mad so he chose what he wanted and helped me choose the colour text he wanted on his bottle and the text font. Once that was done it was a very short wait for the parcel.

The parcel arrived well packaged and even came with some stickers which was a plus! The bottle and bag carefully wrapped well. The box was quite nice too! Elijah enjoyed opening the box and exploring what was inside.

The bag fits all his super heroes in which is about 8 large ones or can be packed full of other toys, clothes or whatever you want to put in. It’s really high quality and I know it’ll last a long while. This bag is handy for taking to grandparents houses for play dates too! Aswell as being aesthetically pleasing!

The water bottle stays warm for 12 hours or cold for 24 hours which is fantastic aswell as being very cute from the design. Elijah is dinosaur mad so adores it! I love the tin design it feels a bit more luxury too! I can tell the bottle will last a long time too just because of the quality of it. It’s easy to drink from too.

We’re really happy with the products we where sent and we will defo consider getting a lunch box from them and their name tags closer to when Elijah goes to nursery! Go check them out!

Instagram-https://instagram.com/petit_fernand_uk?igshid=wzuzdg0ewe3t

Shop- https://www.petit-fernand.co.uk

Thanks for reading! Charlie x

Chalkola review

Chalkola review

Disclaimer I was gifted for a review. I also have a giveaway on my Instagram which ends Sunday if anyone would like to try win some goodies. I will post link after the review.

We love learning through play and have seen all over Instagram the lovely Chalkola blackboards and and chalk pens filling Instagram with their beauty. But are they worth all the hype? In short, YES!

Now I love chalk boards we already had three in the house, my meal planner, Elijahs chalkboard in his room and we had a large one for learning which we since gave to his nanny and grandad to use at their house. So when chalkola offered me the chalk board I couldn’t say no. Our learning chalk board was too big so I was so glad to give it to the grandparents as this chalkboard was the same size but doesn’t have massive legs and collapses. Which is a plus. It stands up with three legs or can be layed out flat. The quality is lovely and I also love that there’s a space to leave your own pen infront.

The chalk. There’s so many colours to choose from and we have loved playing with them all. I’ve been able to teach Elijah the shades of colours so saying dark green or light green and he can now differentiate between dark and light. The pens are fantastic quality and glide on the board so quickly without pressure.

They rub of with a wet damp cloth and then I dry with a dry cloth after to keep it looking new. Easy to remove your masterpieces! The products also just wash of table if your toddler scribbles on it and also easily comes of your hands.

What do I use the chalk for? Writing on my meal planner, drawing in Elijahs room and having fun. We also use it for learning. Instead of wasting lots of paper we simply wipe out when we’re done. I try to teach Elijah a subject at a time or a few things at once. I’ve been teaching Elijah to trace letters and he can identify colours, some words, read the alphabet and numbers so we use the chalk board to work on these skills and adapt more. Elijah loves drawing and copying what I do. His masterpieces he draws may end up a squiggle a lot of the time but we love them none the less!

Chalkola products are a fantastic resource for learning and also exploring colours. It’s perfect for the artist and the organised individual too. It’s a little something for everyone and we love our chalk board. We can’t wait to use it to celebrate birthdays and thing such as Henry coming home!

Shop Chalkola here- http://chalkola.com/ and use code CHARLIE10 for 10 percent off.

You can also use amazon- http://www.amazon.co.uk/chalkola and use code CHALKOLA10

To enter my giveaway for 30 chalk pens, check out my Instagram post here! follow the instructions to enter! -https://www.instagram.com/p/CCEGxIylBl2/?

Thanks for reading! Charlie x

100 days of lockdown.

100 days of lockdown.

Can you believe it. It’s been one hundred days since lockdown began. Whilst things are slowly being eased it’s still so surreal to accept that lockdown even happened in the first place. At the time it was announced as a time line of only three weeks and the world would go back to normal. We believed the earth would keep turning and normality would return. But the days grew to weeks and the weeks grew to months and here we are 100 days later.

In someways I’m thankful for the lockdown. I’m thankful it’s protected my family and friends and it has protected many lives. I’m thankfull the world has slowed down a bit. I’m thankfull for taking the time to appreciate the worlds beauty once more and learning what is truely important in the world. I’ve become thankfull for my old and new life in many ways. I’m thankful that I am able to appreciate how lovely my life was before. How loved I was and didn’t see. I am able to see how much I love my family and friends and how lonely I feel without them. I’m thankful for knowing now that the experiences of going shopping trips and eating out are a treat and something I never will take for advantage again. I will always now have more respect for my fellow human beings and a sense of community I never had before.

We as humans will never be the same. Whilst things will open again next week and normality creeps in again there will always be the anxiety of the what ifs. What if I catch covid? What if the businesses shut down from loss of earnings? What if we are placed on a second lock down? Although I highly doubt another nationwide lockdown will be impossed I know that the anxiety will long linger for many months and years to come.

Obviously lockdown has been hard with every postive there’s a negative. Being stuck in with your own thoughts all day and no physical contact in many cases can be hard. I don’t think I’ve wanted to cuddle my friends as much as I do now and I’ve never been one for personal contact. My mental health has been on a rollercoaster. I’m not afraid to admit there was times I didn’t want to go on anymore. Where getting up in the morning was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But you know what I got through it. I’ve spoken to so many others who have experienced the same emotions so know that your not alone. It’s okay to feel lonely, it’s okay to feel anything other then positive right now. You don’t have to do something with your life like develop a new hobby all you need to do right now is survive and that’s way more commendable then learning the guitar or some other pointless hobby someone has got.

While there is still no end in sight but lockdown restrictions are lifting it is okay to feel scared. It’s okay to question everything. It’s okay to be scared of meeting friends and family. It’s okay to worry about going shopping. It’s okay to be afraid. It’s okay to have relapse of health anxiety and panic every time you go out. It’s okay to be concerned. So do what’s best for you and take your time. Do not feel you need to rush into things just as restrictive measures are taken away and someone tells you what you should be doing. Ease yourself back in slowly. If you want to wear a mask, wear one. Let’s try not to focus on what others are doing as it only gets us more upset and everyone knows the risks. Let’s try focus on just us and what’s right for us.

So here’s to 100 days. I can not believe it has been that long and it blows my mind even typing it. But we will come out the other side. We have survived and we will continue to survive. One day we will feel normality once again.

Do you journal?

Do you journal?

So before lockdown I started a journal. I’ve been told for years I should start one by many healthcare professionals after battling with my mental health. But I’ve always felt this sounds stupid and why should I do it? Nobody will ever read it so it’s a waste of complete time.

But after a paperchase sale near me a cute journal caught my eye and i couldn’t put it down. Sure I do the five minuite journal and self help journals but have I ever just unleashed myself in full? Let out my emotions I feel without saying the words and fearing judgement? No.

As a child I had one of those super cool diary’s you know the ones that had a electric lock and key and when you opened it there was a light and everything. Very swanky and perhaps the best Christmas present of my youth. Of course I wrote about pointless crap like how my day has been and how I hated my parents over something stupid like not letting me stay up late to watch ima celeb. But as I got older the beautiful book went and I was never to capture my love for writing again.

So coming back to it. At the start of lockdown I had nothing to do and I meant nothing. So I pulled out the beautiful bargain and started writing. At first I started documenting lockdown in some sort of justication that one day my diary may be read. Then I realised no this is private and I can go into my feelings. My real feelings. I wrote down things that upset me. Things people did that upset me. I wrote about my feelings and why I felt like that and shortly I’d written pages apon pages and didn’t realise. A small weight was lifted at the acknowledgment that I basically had somewhere to express and leave my darker emotions. There’s a reason why the mean girls called it a burn book I guess.

I kept my journal a place to write my emotions and my troubles. To express myself without a fear of judgement. I couldn’t judge myself as I will never read it again. I may even burn it when I’m done as therapy. But the release I felt. Obviously I wrote positives too but I have a lot of positivity journals I kind of keep this one as the feelings book and try not to feel I have to build myself up and I know it’s okay.

So you know what? I journal and I don’t care. Buy a pretty ass cactus covered or whatever you like journal and sit down for a bit and spill your feelings. Don’t read it again. Don’t hold back. Ask other members of your house not to read it or hide if you feel the need. But my god when they say it’s therapeutic they mean it.

Thanks for reading, Charlie x

Mud&Bloom Box. The perfect monthly activity box for little green fingers.

Mud&Bloom Box. The perfect monthly activity box for little green fingers.

Disclaimer: We where gifted this box in exchange for a review.

We recently have started gardening a little bit more now that it’s the summer and plants are growing a bit quicker. So when mud & bloom contacted us and wanted to send a box to review we where eager to try something new.

I think learning about how things grow and teaching your child the responsibility of looking after their plant is such a important life lesson. Elijah loves getting involved with crafts but then no longer wants to help. So this has been good to teach him things don’t last five minutes and we have to keep working hard to see anything grow.

So what we got inside: we got some seed packets, activity sheets, lolly pop sticks to label plants and we got some stickers for making elderflower cordial. We also got the dirt to grow the plants. They also kindly sent some chalk to draw outdoors.

Elijah enjoyed putting the dirt in the water to expand and then helping to plant and cover the seeds. Every day we got to water his plants and we’ve moved them to bigger pots. Soon we will be putting them into the ground. Elijah loves commenting on how big they are everyday too as we have breakfast looking at them!

Elijah has liked the responsibility and learning about looking after things and being gentle. I’m so thankful we got this box as it’s really shown me just how into gardening toddlers can be and it’ll be something we stick too! It’s given me more incentive to get him to help more in the garden too!

If your interested in subscribing to their boxes check out – http://www.mudandbloom.com

Thanks for reading, Charlie x

Into the green candle review. As seen in vogue magazine!

Into the green candle review. As seen in vogue magazine!

It’s always exciting working with a new company and as you are very aware by now I am the candle connoisseur. I’m addicted to candles and there is something about lighting a candle at the end of the day that screams I’m done and ready to relax. I also have a strong belief that you’re not done cleaning till you’ve lit a wax melt at the end of it and all the smells in the room just wait through the house and make you feel cosy and clean again.

I was very fortunate to be offered some candles in exchange for this review. So they where kindly gifted. They have recently been featured in vogue magazine and that made me all the more excited. I used to always buy things I saw in magazines as of course they have teams that research these products meticulously. So to be highlighted in such a big magazine screams brilliant product.

First of all the items are beautiful. The packaging and the product style is simple and chic. They’re small so no massive candles floating around and can easily store away if you don’t like them on show you can out away with the screw lid.

Breathe and Be is my fav. It smells like mint which I love when I’m feeling unwell and stressed out as it’s a clearing revitalising smell. It smells so fresh and clear and you can feel your lungs opening when you sniff it. The wax burns really well and you can smell after around a minuite really strong. It is so fresh and feels like it’s opening you up as you breathe in! This is the newest candle and I adore it!

I was also sent kissed by the moon which is another fantastic smell. I think it smells like a relaxing night time candle. It smells calming and makes me feel at ease. My anxiety feels like it’s a bit more calm when I’m relaxed so hats of to this candle! It smells almost floraly but earthy at the same time.

These candles would also make the perfect gift for any candle lover aswell. if you would like to try use the discount BreatheandBe for 10 percent off.

Please do go and support this small buisness. A follow, a like, a comment, a share or purchase will make them do happy dance!

Follow their Instagram here – https://instagram.com/intothegreen_handcraft

And shop here- https://www.intothegreenhandcraft.co.uk/

As always thanks for reading and for all collabs drop me a email! Charlie x

10 reasons why you should have a child.

10 reasons why you should have a child.

The other day I did a ten things you should know before having a child and today I wanted to do from the opposite side. The good bits. Every negative has a positive and here are ours.

One. The love. You will never feel anything like it. You will never love as fiercely and you would die for something other than yourself. You feel and run off nothing but love in the newborn stage. The toddler stages may be hard but when they cuddle you or say I love you it makes your heart melt. Even the hardest of souls are melted like me!

Two. They’re funny. Elijah thinks he’s a comedian. The silly things he does to make us laugh. The funny faces, the farts. Everything about them will make you laugh at some point. They’re just a ball of laughter and silliness.

Three. When you see they’ve learnt something from you. You feel proud of both yourself and them. You get so excited over the littlest things like rolling over or learning to count. Soon everything they do is interesting because you made that and it’s incredible watching someone learn absolutely everything.

Four. No judgement of watching kids tv and Films. Nobody can judge if your still watching a kids cartoon when they’ve left the room or for buying toys that are clearly more for you then them. Fairly sure I buy toys because I want them not him!

Five. You get to relive your youth again. You get to pretend to be animals, run around being aeroplanes and being silly. You remember things you loved as a kid and try to share that with your child. Creating memories while reliving your youth is pretty cool.

Six. You get to be crafty. You get to make arts and crafts and create play. You get your creative side out. You’ll be amazed at just how many ideas pop into your head. Even if your art looks like your two year at least you can blame it on them and class as their hard work.

Seven. Seeing your parents with their grandchild. It’s lovely watching your kid loving and being loved by grandparents. It’s nice seeing how different they are and the happiness they bring. It’s nice to see your parents have a playful side you don’t remember after the teenage stage.

Eight. Happiness. Your child will bring you happiness. When they smile at you, talk to you, do something new or just talking to you. Sometimes you just have to look at them and your happy. If you’ve had a terrible day a cuddle fixes everything.

Nine. Enjoying being a parent. Being proud to talk about them, being proud to be their parent. Enjoying that this is your life now. Although there are days you want to rip your hair out there are some rare days where you feel really great and like your killing this parent game! Days when you feel achievement because you survived another day and your kid did too!

Ten. Seeing a loved one with their child. Nothing will ever describe that fullness I get in my heart when Elijah and James play together or do something together. When they smile and cuddle. When I first saw James hold Elijah I think my heart wanted to explode out my chest I was so full. This love is like nothing I could ever explain.

As always thanks for reading, Charlie x

Revamping our room with photo wall

Revamping our room with photo wall

So the lovely people at photo wall got in touch and offered to send us some gifted wall paper to review. as we’d been planning to redecorate our room since we first moved in we jumped at the chance.

We immediately looked at what they had and had to make the hard decision on what to choose. There was so many beautiful prints and styles and I was so close to ordering a animal mural for Elijah but you know what I deserve nice things too! Ordering was super easy and we out the measurements in. Within a few days it arrived.

It arrived with instructions, paste and the wallpaper. You could tell the quality just from opening it. We went for the top range so no reflection at day time as our bedroom is very light.

Before. White, Chipped, dirty looking.

Now the wallpaper had arrived we contacted someone to come do our wallpaper the following weekend as covid guidelines allow it now and we got to work. Our bedroom was a state. The previous owners had rushed about and made a mess. Gouges in walls, dodgy filling, a whole in the wall and paint here there and everywhere. It took us four nights to paint the walls, ceilings and fill holes. We took of the clothing rails and filled and painted them too. We glossed everything we could and even touched up the door and window sills. I painted the inside of the fire box and it looked so much better.

Then came the wallpaper day! The guy came as we didn’t trust our selfs and got to work. He said it was super easy as it was clearly labelled and informed him wear to cut. He was able to line and match up the wallpaper easy. He said it was easy then the other wall paper we got for the chimney breast. When he was done we where amazed at how it looked.

After as it started to dry on wall!

Immediately it became the smartest room in the house. It was like our very own art work. Something different to any one we know. The flowers and birds are beautiful and like nothing I have ever seen before. I enjoy looking at it and thinking wow this is our room! I love birds and cherry blossoms so I’m so glad I picked this. It goes with bedding and my bedroom already so no need to change the room over either which is always a plus!

The only downside was we over measured and had to cut the birds tales of because of the door way and the fact we run out of space but I’m super glad the faces of the birds look like they’re peaking in and they’re all there.

I’m so thankfull and my house feels a bit more like a home. It’s my personality, my happy place my safe space!

Massive Thank-you to photo wall for gifting is this beautiful wallpaper. I will cherish it forever!

Go check them out here- https://www.photowall.co.uk

Also check their Instagram here- https://instagram.com/photowall_sweden?igshid=xh7cw7o04lxc

You can get 25%off with code – hazelwoods2020

Thanks for reading, Charlie x

10 things you should know before you have a child.

10 things you should know before you have a child.

Disclaimer : I am writing this from a more comical side then serious side. I don’t hate my child by posting these facts. These are things I believe that everyone should know before planning a child. Why? Because having a child is not all sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes it’s poo and tantrums galore.

So to kick this of I am Charlie-Jane. I’m 25 we planned and tried for a baby at 22 and Elijah was born whilst I was 22. Elijah is now 2 and a half and sometimes I think he might be slightly possessed with his temper at times. Clearly doesn’t have my temper because I’m of course a angel. Ok perhaps not a angel but not someone who thinks rolling on the floor will in fact allow me to have cake for breakfast. Anyway these are some of the things I wish I new before I had a child. So I could of mentally prepared.

Number one: There is less we time and me time. Your days become worshipping little evil spawn. Instead of having a zen bath or going for a date with your loved one your life revolves around being a snack bitch or cleaning the path of destruction that your child’s created. You find conversations normally revert back to your child and your so drained from parenting you really can’t be bothered to do anything. Enjoying peace and quiet is a thing of the past and conversations always interrupted.

Number two: You will only ever hear children’s tv show songs in your head. Inside my head is a collection of blippi, andys adventures, waffle doggy and mr tumbles greatest. You will get really into kids tv. You find yourself sticking a episode of hey duggee on and having a laugh and then realising your child’s having a nap. You start conversations with talking about the latest kids tv series you watched not the latest show on Netflix. You find yourself wondering how does Justin have so much time to dress up as all these characters and I haven’t even washed my face this morning???

Number three:You will never have a relaxing meal or drink again. Infact you’ll make a cup of tea and your child will distract you so much that your tea is ice cold and your full of disappointment. Eating your dinner peacefully? Forget about it! Your child wants to throw food at you, eat your food or get down. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve had a drink hurdled into my meal or my child ran of with my last sausage or smushed his food into the walls and across the floor. Eating at a restaurant becomes stressfull keeping you child entertained and on their best behaviour and sometimes you’d rather not eat out with them atal!

Number four: You will never have privacy. Your child comes everywhere with you. Staring, watching, planning their next attack! If you need a poo? Well child is coming too and going to throw a giant stegosaurus at your face. Trying to talk on the phone? Child decides all of the sudden they want to sing at the top of their voice! Just minding your own business shopping when your child decides nows the time to lift your top down and show everyone your boobies! Note to self, always wear a bra after the Morrison’s incident.

Number five: Kids are expensive. Always growing like some hyped up sunflower! One minuite they’re tiny and the next they’re twenty feet giants that weigh 77 tons. You go through clothes quicker then you can buy them and that expensive toy you brought well it’s been five minuites and it’s trash to them now. There’s always some new thing they’re into and new toys to buy. You’ll be really glad when you spend loads of money on something and they don’t care about it atall.

Number six: You’re always tired. Of course the sleep steeler cry’s all night or apparently like my child sings Elton johns can you feel the love tonight at 3 am like that’s the norm. Of course I want to be awoken to Elton John mate thanks! Your days start before the sun and yeah that coffees going cold so there is no help with the fatigue. Your running round all day playing and cleaning and your so stressed you don’t know how to function. Your mind is tired, your body is tired, you don’t know what day it is anymore. 9 months was not enough time to catch up on rest like they tell you!

Number seven: Your child will have a meltdown over ANYTHING. They picked up the wrong toy, you don’t have doughnuts in the house, you won’t let them lick a trolley while out shopping. ANYTHING. There is no reasoning with them either, everything is a complete battle at times. Want to get your child to put their shoes on? Cue half hour screaming meltdown on the floor wiggling around like a worm that’s been cut in half. Oh and yes they’ll be plenty in public and yes it’s humiliating!

Number eight: Say goodbye to your freedom. Want to go to the shops? Better pack a suitcase and load the car and pram and pack snacks and three changes of clothes and my life’s ambitions. Want to go on a romantic date? CHILDCARE!!! There’s no more dates without someone to watch your child. Want to go for a walk alone to calm down? Well you can’t! Want to wake up when you want and go to sleep when you want? You can’t! Want to go to a fancy restaurant? Well I’m sure there is no baby change or high chair facilities! Trip to the cinema forget about it! long walk? Lug a baby or buggy around or just bin it off and forget about it!

Number nine: Your body will change. You will put on weight everywhere, your face will change shape, your hips, arms, feet, hands and everywhere else! Your stomach may sag and you’ll have horrid squiggly lines scatted over your tummy. Your hair will fall out in clumps and you’ll block your hoover and drain almost daily. Your skin will get spotty or dry and itchy. Illnesses you never knew you had will come out of the pipework. You will get tired more often and if you need to sneeze or want to laugh?There is gonna be A lot of wee accidents. Wrinkles and bags under your eyes will be your latest accessories in your beauty quest.

Number 10: Your life will become filled with poo and sick. Yes you will have poo explosions where the watery poo reaches their hair. You will have the potty training poo in the pants. Your child will take their poo out their nappy and smear it all over their bedding, walls and cot because why not? It’s clearly scented paint! your child will throw up in your mouth at least once and my god a sickness bug makes you want to leave the city. So prepare for being covered, your child being covered, your house being covered and you’ll contemplate whether it’s easier to burn the house down sometimes then clean a smeared poo explosion.

Of course I love my child and I love my life now he’s in it but boy is a bit of a prick at times. Hope you had a laugh! Charlie x