The government needs to help to support our eating habits encouraging healthy eating instead of restricting us.

The government needs to help to support our eating habits encouraging healthy eating instead of restricting us.

Me again and a subject I thought I would never be speaking about. Healthy eating. I’ve struggled for years with my weight. Being younger I always thought I was fat when I was skinny and now I see myself as fat because well I have finally became it from years of unhealthy eating.

Why have I eaten unhealthy? Well when I was a teenager at 18 I got a job as a carer. I had to take my own food in and it had to be made quickly so it would be takeaways and unhealthy snacks as and when I could. As a carer you don’t get time to prepare a nutritious meal and it became habit to have takeaways most nights. Some sort of canned meal or microwave meal became my life for ease and also because of exhaustion from my working patterns . My mental health made me not want to eat most days so ordered terrible food I enjoyed in a bid to cheer myself up. It never worked.

The issue was also that it’s normally cheeper on my pathetic pay packet I got to order a takeaway or get a frozen pizza then get all the bits to create nutritious and filling meals. When you basically live at work it’s hard to want to spend your personal time meal planning and batch cooking too.

It’s a shame because I can cook. I used to love to cook. I also took courses in nutrition and cooking for work but it’s sort of came to a point I’ve aqquired a taste for unhealthy meals. Why change what you love.

Frankly I eat my feelings and since having Elijah I’ve really struggled to loose weight. Although I mostly eat healthy I have quite a few treats which cause the struggle with weightloss. However hard I try I can’t stick to a diet. Why because I struggle with restrictions. I always want what I can’t have. If the general public can’t be told no in a pandemic I doubt they’ll eat healthier because of the governments and rebel against that too. I’ve also felt there’s no support. My husband would offer to diet with me. But my husband works of a lot of calories and eats healthy so I wouldn’t want him to be underweight at the cost of me.

Putting calories on a box is great but who actually reads these things? yes the calories may be high but you kind of guess that when ordering a pizza. This is also a negative because those with eating disorders may not eat treats as much or fixate even harder or calorie counting.

We need support in perhaps advise sheets advising how we can incorporate healthy food more and remove some of the junk from our diet in a way we can have full informed choice. We also need more support for gyms exetra. Why can’t we do a 10 pound of a month scheme from the government where they help fund gyms and perhaps swimming vouchers too. The cost of memberships and days out puts people off straight away. Whilst I’ve used some pretty expensive gyms in the past I’ve always thought they where a little on the pricey side and thought about whether I can afford it. Money of schemes would mean more money spent on gyms and more gyms opening up and more people loosing weight and being healthy which is only a mega plus for the government, economy and the nhs.

There needs to be more support for low income families too. it can be expensive to resource all of the items in a food shop which equates too a nutritious diet for a family. Especially now in uncertain times with the covid situation putting jobs at risk and people unable to provide and looking to the government for help. Could there not perhaps be a discounted price on healthy items instead of just unhealthy items.

The government needs to provide support and offer more advice to those who cannot access their resources. There needs to be more support and understanding of eating disorders too. Such as those who eat their feelings and those who connect feelings to food. We shouldn’t ban unhealthy foods because we deserve treats but we need the advice and resources on how to enjoy in moderation and how to maintain a healthy lifestyle when you dislike vegetables exetra. I know the foods I can pick to be healthy but I don’t enjoy them. And whilst I’m starting my diet on Monday I wish I knew how I could treat myself without getting addicted to going overboard. I wish I had the support to know why I eat my feelings and perhaps have that support from the government with not only my eating choices but the mental health issues that cause me to eat badly and he unable to substation a healthy life too.

I know I’m shouting to the wind but this is just my opinion. I feel shunning unhealthy living is not enough when shame never helps anyone. It is support that helps us through.

I will be starting my diet Monday and eating what I can which I enjoy to be healthy but I know I will never know when enough is enough, how much of a treat I can have without putting on more weight. Because believe me I’m not going to only eat 5 magic stars on a cinema trip and I’m also not going to munch on a banana.

Thanks for reading. Charlie x

Online haul with cherryz

Online haul with cherryz

This is a advertisement of gifted products in exchange for this blog post review.

Cherryz gifted me a thirty pounds gift voucher in exchange for a review of their company so here is what i thought about cherryz, So first of all its really easy to use download the app and create a profile its that easy. Once you’ve done that its simple just scroll for what you want. With separated sections from everything from cupboard essentials, cleaning products to pets it sells basically everything you could need in your cupboards, I am a fan of doing many hinch hauls and going shopping and i end up spending way too much money. This enables me still to buy my favourites but from the safety of my own home. I also am able to monitor what i spend and not get distracted as easily. The app easy to use and is quick too. Everything i would normally buy cleaning wise was there as well as all the snacks i would often buy for Elijah.

They also sell some lovely garden and home bits and i had to stop myself from filling my house with even more things that need homes! I focused with my thirty pounds on getting the most for my money and also trying bits from each department. The pet range is really good and ill definitely be buying more dog bits in the future. I decided to get some treats for dog, poop bags and some pet cleaning supply which i definitely will be needing. I also got a microwave steam cleaner which i have since used and made a hard job easy! ill keep more on top of it now! I also ordered lots of snacks and treats as well as packed lunch basics for James and cereal. There where lots of cereals and crisps and whole range of cupboard food in stock too. Don’t shop when hungry. I ended up getting i think 26 items for 30 pounds which is amazing in my eyes. A lot of the products where cheaper then supermarkets. The checkout process was easy and theirs tracking and updates up to the day your parcel is due. The delivery only took two working days which was good. All products arrived well packaged and all where with good dates on too.

I can honestly say i will be using them again in the future to save my arms from the hauls i get myself into.

To check them out download app here https://cherryz.app.link/lifewiththehazelwoods and you can use my code LIFEWITHTHEHAZELWOODS10 for 10% OFF your first order on the app!

Thanks, charlie x

A day out at roarr! dinosaur adventures!

A day out at roarr! dinosaur adventures!

So last week we took a trip to Roarr! Dinosaur adventures. After Elijah starting to show a mild obsession in dinosaurs I thought it was time we go. I was a bit anxious he would get scared of the dinosaurs so we’ve put it off for so long but we decided to give it a try.

We live a little drive away so decided we’d get lunch from them instead of having hot and sweaty sandwiches so checked before we went what was open due to the coronavirus pandemic restrictions and we where surprised quite a lot was open. So after looking we booked our tickets and time slot. You have to book before you come so they can operate staggered opening times.

When we arrived it was almost like driving into Jurassic park spotting the odd dinosaur in the car park before we went to enter . Once we arrived we realised Elijah was slightly shorter then 90cm so they refunded Elijahs ticket which was really good of them to do! Once we’d sanitised and checked our selfs In it was time to enter.

There where lots of dinosaur foot prints to show social distancing and wear to go and lots of pumps scattered around although as few where empty we carried our own anyway.

Elijah was very excited and kept telling us all the names of the dinosaurs and jumping with excitement. We did come across one dinosaur that moved and roared and this made Elijah really scared as he thought it was real and he immediately asked to go home and back to the car and repeatedly said it was time to go after some encouragement and avoiding that dinosaur he became calmer. We then went on the trials and Elijah got excited again and pointed out all the dinosaurs he could see. He had a absolute blast.

It was a cold day so we didn’t do the splash water park but a few children seemed to not mind the cold and looked like they where having fun getting soaked. We had ago at the escivation dog where children can play in sand and find dinosaur fossils! We then went for a walk round the petting zoo and saw some farmyard friends and a few snakes and lizards. Elijah quite enjoyed seeing the animals but loved the dinosaurs so much he wanted to go see them again.

The dinosaurs all looked realistic and it was a fun day out. I was sceptical at just looking at statues but I guess it’s what you do in a Museum and we all used our imaginations. There where information boards at every display and you could climb for photos if you wanted. There was noise boxes with some of the dinosaurs too! We may return one day for the treetop climbing!

After we had finished walking we stoped by the takeaway snacks and got a large pizza and chips and drinks each to share and it wasn’t to expensive the food was really nice. There where lots of play equipment to play with and play park to play on so there was no shortage of ways to burn your kids energy off.

We where disappointed that the gift shop was shut till 1 so we didn’t want to wait half hour to go and Elijah was quite sad as we promised him a toy but we went to a toy shop on way home and he still got his dinosaur! We where lucky when we left as it rained so heavy as we got in the car it was like a monsoon. On the way out we grabbed a medal as there was no stamps to collect we picked up a medal instead.

We can’t wait to go again! Thanks Charlie x

We’re getting a puppy!

We’re getting a puppy!

Many of you who follow me on Instagram already know that we are adding a little addition to our family. Well the dogs out of the bag say to speak and we’ll be picking up our little guy next week. He’s a dachshund and will be 8 weeks on the Sunday we pick him up!

This isn’t something we suddenly decided it’s been a ongoing conversation for years and the time finally feels right. We’ve researched into training puppy’s, puppy needs and demands and everything you need to know about puppies.

Obviously puppy’s need a lot of care and attention which we have to give. I’m home a lot and not working means I can always be home more often then needed. James work patterns means he can take the dog for a short walk before work and I can do the evening walk when he’s home or take Elijah with me. Now that Elijahs potty trained I feel Now’s a great time to bring a puppy into the home so come when Elijah starts nursery in January I can leave the dog to do this and not worry about him being upset.

We own our house so there’s no worry about landlords and our house is already baby proofed so will be dog proofed too! We have a big garden and a park behind our house and we live next to many lovely places to walk.

We’ve looked into a lot of training and a lot of my family have or had dogs so I know how to basically train a dog. Obviously not every dog is easy to train and if I couldn’t get him to behave I’d take him to puppy training classes.

We’ve already signed up at a vets and also booked his first injection and everything that comes with it for the next year such as de fleeing and deworming treatments.

We did want a bigger dog like a Labrador. I’ve always had a soft spot for sausages but we wanted a bigger dog. After seeing a photo of Henry we had to go see him and that was when we knew he was our dog. Just the way he settled into us and looked into our eyes we knew.

We decided to get a puppy that wasn’t quite ready so we could prepare everything we need and prepare Elijah. We wanted to mentally prepare our selfs and experience a bit more excitement. It’s also been nice to see Henry grow from 2 weeks till when we can pick him up. We now have everything from a bed to toys and were so excited for him to come live with us every time we see his little bits and bobs.

We’re super excited to pick him up next weekend and I’m sure we’ll have tons of questions and worry’s like bringing home a newborn again but I’m so exited to see Elijah and Henry grow up together.

Bet you can’t wait for the puppy spam!

Charlie x

My social needs still exist after becoming a mum.

My social needs still exist after becoming a mum.

One thing that is a constant since having a child is that once you have a kid, the kid is all that is spoken about. Even when I’d just had my baby and had recently been ripped open and feeling awful at home the phone calls never started with how are you? it was hows the baby? It’s something that still happens today. Straight away people ask how Elijah is and never me. Or people call and straight away say can I speak to Elijah or hows my boy before I’ve barely even answered the phone.

There’s no talk to me just Elijah. Also many people are disappointed if I see them without the kid. If I pop by someones while child free or meet up with someone they moan that they wanted to see Elijah and they’re disappointed and I’m like sorry? shall I just go home then? I forgot I don’t exist other then to assist my child’s social life.

If I try to talk about myself it’s kind of returned back to the kid. It can be really frustrating and a bit upsetting to be fair. Sometimes it feels like your existence doesn’t exist beyond your kid. My friends are quite good and don’t start conversations with hows Elijah because they know I exist and have feelings too. Although my friends adore my child they would never dream of telling me they’re disappointed it’s just me who’s come to see them.

I still want to be invited out too. I found since having a kid I had lost a few friends because people just thought that’s the end of Charlie. But no it wasn’t. It was the birth of me. Having a kid enabled me to be more confident in myself. To want to actively go out more and have a social life instead of hiding in my room on my days of work. I wanted freedom to be alone and be me again in the strongest light. People worried all I’d speak about is the baby and I don’t think I’ve ever been that person to only gush about my kid either. If someone asks I tell them but I know lots of people who don’t have kids just don’t care. They’ve in fact told me they love that about me that I don’t bore them with talking about my kid all the time. People without kids just don’t care. Like I didn’t when I didn’t have kids.

I still have a personality. I still want to meet up with my mum friends with our kids but I also enjoy meeting up with friends and family alone at times. I like being able to talk about myself sometimes. I’m not vain but it’s quite nice being able to talk about adult subjects without a little earwigger.

I choose to become a mum but I did not choose to not exist beyond that title.

I still enjoy going out for meals with friends, cocktails, date nights and shopping trips. I still love the cinemas and going on walks too. I miss getting dressed up and not being dressed down because my child will destroy my outfit.

Just because we’re mums doesn’t mean we can’t struggle to. Ever noticed that a lot of mums don’t talk about themselfs so therefor don’t express their own feelings. It is so important to appreciate that there is someone behind the child. Mental health issues exist in the silence and it’s because this that depression can hideaway. I know for a fact my depression got so much worse after a child. Because it’s not all sunshine and rainbows, it’s sleepless nights, puke and a lot of attitude from your child.

Tbh my child is pretty cool and I could talk about him all day but tbh I don’t want to. Not only will I bore others but it also creates that weird online vibe where people think another kids better then theirs. Or worse I’d come across as one of those parents that I hate which think their child is a god and the best child to grace the planet ever. No child is perfect. Sorry not sorry. You also look like a bit of a tool. Still not sorry.

So when your friends and family have a kid ask them how they are. Ask what they’ve been up to. Talk about things not related to their children. Ask them if they want to meet up with kid or if they prefer child free time. You do get the odd parent who never wants to leave their child and that’s okay. Start a phone call talking about the person who’s number you rang and then ask about the child. Never tell someone your disappointed their child isn’t with them. Remember they existed before a child and they’re still the same person. You don’t have to meet up with the child all the time either. It’s a bit nicer for a parent to not have to worry about the child’s behaviour all the time so seeing someone in their child free time is a privilege which shouldn’t be wasted insulting them and making them feel bad about themselves.

Thanks for reading, Charlie x

Returning to restaurants after lockdown.

Returning to restaurants after lockdown.

Now that lockdown is easing there is a lot of fear about going out and enjoying things as we once did before. As the corona virus caused everything to shutdown it’s going to take some time to adjust to the new normal the world must adapt too. There will obviously be those who are afraid and those who are not afraid. While I personally am not afraid so long as precautions are taken I know others may be scared and that’s okay. But however let’s not judge others for going out and supporting businesses at this difficult time. It is not selfish. It is protecting jobs but keeping a income where we as a country don’t have the funds to provide furlough forever. The fact I went out is also wanting a bit of normality back in our lives. A bit of choice in how we live. If I want to see friends somewhere other then the four walls either of us have been confined too or a park we’ve walked hundreds of times.

So at the weekend last i decided to try eating out as I met up with my friend socially distanced. I mean socially distanced and not using it as to excuse bad behaviour. We met up with face masks, disposed of them before eating and washed our hands and kept a minimum of one metres distance at all times. We sanitised constantly throughout the day too. At the table we sat across from each other still keeping to guidelines.

So how was the dining experience you may ask? Well it went really well. We found a somewhat empty restaurant and asked if they had any tables. They did obviously as there was only one other table containing people in the whole place. Normally you need to book in advance but I guess we where lucky. The doors where kept open for airflow and all staff had masks on. The tables where bare and freshly cleaned over bar a decorative plant. Disposable menus where brought over at a distance and we decided what we wanted.

Once we ordered Cutlery and tissues were then brought over. Food and drink was placed on the table safely from extended arms at a distance. The staff where constantly cleaning hands and the tables. They wore gloves to collect the plates and cutlery we where given. We paid contactless from a distance again and then we left and put on fresh masks and santized again as we left. As we left we could see them cleaning everything already as we had got half way through the restaurant.

It didn’t feel weird or anything all the additional cleaning and measures. I think having health anxiety for years and being a germaphobe I actually felt the safest I’ve ever been in a restaurant. Once you get over stickers on the floor and the new lay out of places it feels pretty normal. I was able to relax. I was quite excited to be out again. To have my freedom back. I love my local supermarket but I cannot be bothered to cook the same crap over and over again.

The vibe was the same, music playing, the staff still as lovely as ever. The food still tasted great and we really enjoyed our selfs. I would defo go again and don’t know why I was so worried. Of course the virus still exists and there’s a risk wherever you go but I felt so much safer here sat away from others enjoying myself then I felt in tescos feeling like Cattle to the slaughter with their terrible distancing and hygiene standards.

So if your worried that’s okay. You don’t need to do anything your scared of but also remember these restaurants not only need our support but also have a legal obligation to keep you safe. So if you can take a trip to primark it is no different then eating at a restaurant! The restaurants really do try their best and feel safe. In fact safer then before.Do not do anything your not ready to do. It’s normal to feel anxious about change especially when we have been presented with nothing but fear. Many restaurants are still doing takeaway and delivery too! But from my personal experience I had a lovely time!

Thanks for reading, Charlie x

Chewy moon review.

Chewy moon review.

Disclaimer- Ad-products gifted for this review.

Elijah is a mega snack lover and we find it so hard to find new things for him to try when chewy moon offered some samples we leaped at the chance. We where sent a large selection (you can see each name on the photo with the product names on) to try and see if Elijah liked them. These are quite similar to a few high street brands but i think the quality is so much more than normal snack companys ive tried from local supermarket trips. The chewy moon packaging looks fantastic. I love all the Animal prints that remind me a bit of the design of a totem poll. If these where prints they’d be something i would seriously think of having in my sons bedroom as a theme. I like all the colour usage and there isnt a specific wrapping for a product so its like a lucky dip.

The products are healthy and packed full of good stuff the sugars are more natural then tons of produced foods. This means your child gets lots of minerals and nutrients while snacking. As a mum i always worry about whether Elijah is getting enough healthy food into his diet. I think i always will which is why i like that with these products there is a nutritional leaflet too! You can see whats inside and decide what to give your child.

There where a few dry fruit packets which Elijah loves. Anything remotely healthy for Elijah is a win for me. Luckily he has always liked healthy snacks as much as naughty ones. So far his favourite is the strawberry hearts he enjoyed taking his time to eat them too and the fact they looked like a tiny strawberry in the shape of a heart, The small size meant he didn’t need to scoff his face. He also really enjoyed the honey biscuits too and even i partake in a little snack they where quite sweet and tasty .

The size portions are enough for your child and perfect for on the go it means you can pack in your bag without taking up to much room and pack more that one and offer choice. We still have a few to try but so far we have tried almost all of them and Elijah has liked each and every single one.

You can check out chewy moon here – https://chewymoon.com/

Or check their insta here-https://www.instagram.com/chewymoonbox/

Thanks for reading! charlie x

Strawberry picking 🍓

Strawberry picking  🍓

Being a somewhat dry day in suffolk we decided to go strawberry picking before the heavens opened on our way home. What is strawberry picking? Well the answer is basically in the name itself. You basically pick strawberries and get to take them home. The good thing about strawberry picking is you get to choose your own fruit so you can be sure you get the best quality strawberries. At this farm you could also pick blackcurrants, redcurrants and blackberries.

So safety wise its quite a safe activity to do at the moment all you do is pick your own basket and then you have a whole farm to social distance. It was very easy to keep away from others. When we needed to pay we just went into shop and paid. I also brought some fresh fruit and veg and other little bits from the farms shop. There is something about things that don’t come prepacked in plastic that gives a much better taste and experience.

Elijah is just over two and a half so i was a bit worried he wouldn’t enjoy it. I couldn’t of been more wrong. When we got to the strawberry field and told him what we where going to do he told us he was “excited” and launched himself towards the giant strawberry on the farm. He enjoyed picking a basket and running around. As we where on a farm he was interested in the vehicles on the farm. He liked looking at the tractor and asked for a photo in front of some big yellow digger. We then went to pick the fruit he was excited when he could spot the strawberries. He picked his favourites at first he grabbed as many as he could see then we explained we needed to look for the reddest ones and he got very particular on his choice. He enjoyed running around and picking the strawberries too he did eat quite a few despite us explaining we had to pay first eventually stopped scoffing them down. (we told the shop hes eaten about 6 and they didn’t care).

Overall it was quite a fun family experience we all enjoyed selecting what we like the look of and knowing it was ours to eat. It felt quite nice completly picking our food completly fresh. The strawberries taste amazing and we have plenty to last. We will defo be going again! Hopefully before it’s time to go pumpkin picking!

Thanks for reading, charlie x

Get to know me

Get to know me

So i thought id pop on to write a little bit about myself due to my increased readers recently. First of all thank you for taking the time to read my blog posts. I cannot express how much it means to me that anyone reads my blog. My blog is my online journal basically and i guess you guys, my readers are already in my brain but i thought maybe people would want to know a bit more about the persons whos head your in. So without further adue lets get to know me.

So hello, My name is Charlie-Jane and i am 25 years old. I come from a small town in Suffolk in the united kingdom. Where i come from im quite lucky. I live in a town with quite a few shops and regular public transport that can get you wherever you need too. There is lots of countryside and beaches near me so i am spoilt for naturals beauty. I love going on long walks and taking photos, some would say photography is a bit of a hobby of mine. You’ll always catch me taking a photo of something and my camera often comes everywhere with me. I also love eating out and enjoy eating in restaurants and getting coffee with my friends. I love spending hours in a bookshop choosing a handful of books and getting lost running my fingers along the stacks and peeping a read of the blurb before eventually walking to the counter with my heavy stack. I love unwinding at home with a good book. I love reading and getting lost and escaping the world for a little bit. I love a bit of everything to be honest and i couldn’t put my finger on a single book genre i love more than another. I will admit though i’m more partial to being lost in another world then this world at times.

I also enjoy watching films. We love trips to the cinema and always have. I used to have cinema card and would go at least 3 times a month to the cinema. I would normally get a tango ice blast, a baskin and robins and escape to a film. At home i am an avid fan of watching new things and watch Netflix, prime, now tv and more all the time. My favourite series of all time is greys anatomy. I will re watch it at least once a year. I will also sob like a baby every time.

I love skincare and make up. I suffer with rosacea so i am very fixated on managing my skincare and beauty regime. I love shopping trips to boots and love reading in magazines and looking at instagrams recommendations. I love nothing more than having a full on pamper session. Nothing beats a full cleanse and a full body moisturising sesh. I love trying new make up.I love trying new things i wouldn’t normally try. I love finding something that works for me and i love when i get to go out somewhere nice for the day and put some make up on. I love being able to hide my redness and breakouts and feeling pretty for a few hours.

i enjoy trying to cook new things. I don’t enjoy cooking but i do enjoy trying something new and being creative in the kitchen. When i am super stressed i bake a lot of unhealthy but tasty treats. Some weekends i make pancakes when i am in a good mood and its the perfect way to start my day. My favourite food is chicken and leek bake. No idea why! My favourite drink is a starbucks chocolate chip frappe with caramel. My favourite sweet treat is chocolate, It has to be dairy milk always!

I used to work as a volunteer teaching assistant, i then worked as a support worker for people who suffered with learning disabilities and difficulties, i also worked with youth offenders and asylum seekers. I then worked in endoscopy for a few years before deciding to become a stay at home mum. I’ve learned so much in my past careers but i am happiest being a stay at home mum.

I met my husband just over 6 years ago. We dated a few months and then made things official. With James everything felt like i was in some sort of a movie. We have been like magnets since we first started dating i think when its real love you can’t describe it, you just feel full and happy. Pure happiness. We moved out together after about 5 months and then we got engaged after 2 years. We planned to start trying for a baby and brought our first house. We fell pregnant with elijah at 22 and we love being parents. We work together as parents and spending time as a family.

i suffer with numerous mental and physical health issues which can be very debilitating. I try to not filter these parts of me out because i want to be honest. I want others to know they are not alone in their struggles. Since becoming a mum it is even harder to ignore my emotions now. I want Elijah to grow up and know that its okay to talk about mental health issues. I also try to be honest about parenting because i myself get upset reading people only talking about the best parts of parenting at times. I want to lead by example to other parents that its okay to struggle and to talk about our emotions. It doesn’t make us bad parents.

I’m scared of death and the dark which is silly i know. Flying things freak me out as well as anything that slithers. I love autumn and hate the summer. I spend the whole time a sweaty self conscious mess. I love the rain and dancing around my kitchen to garage music or indie music from my youth. I love watching films that make me ugly cry. I have a late night snack every night even if i am not hungry and i have become a creature of habit. I want to cry when there is no chocolate in the house. I used to dream of being a mp and changing the world but knew i would never have a chance. I also wanted to be a comedian in high school and look at how that went. I always wanted to be a wife and mother and i completed those goals. I always thought id learn to be a odp and stay in healthcare but i guess my ambitions changed after having Elijah. I don’t think i ever wanted to admit it but i guess it just sort of happened.

Anyway i guess that’s me, In all my boring glory. I’m always up for making new friends so as always my dms are open. Thank you for reading my drool, charlie.

100 days of lockdown.

100 days of lockdown.

Can you believe it. It’s been one hundred days since lockdown began. Whilst things are slowly being eased it’s still so surreal to accept that lockdown even happened in the first place. At the time it was announced as a time line of only three weeks and the world would go back to normal. We believed the earth would keep turning and normality would return. But the days grew to weeks and the weeks grew to months and here we are 100 days later.

In someways I’m thankful for the lockdown. I’m thankful it’s protected my family and friends and it has protected many lives. I’m thankfull the world has slowed down a bit. I’m thankfull for taking the time to appreciate the worlds beauty once more and learning what is truely important in the world. I’ve become thankfull for my old and new life in many ways. I’m thankful that I am able to appreciate how lovely my life was before. How loved I was and didn’t see. I am able to see how much I love my family and friends and how lonely I feel without them. I’m thankful for knowing now that the experiences of going shopping trips and eating out are a treat and something I never will take for advantage again. I will always now have more respect for my fellow human beings and a sense of community I never had before.

We as humans will never be the same. Whilst things will open again next week and normality creeps in again there will always be the anxiety of the what ifs. What if I catch covid? What if the businesses shut down from loss of earnings? What if we are placed on a second lock down? Although I highly doubt another nationwide lockdown will be impossed I know that the anxiety will long linger for many months and years to come.

Obviously lockdown has been hard with every postive there’s a negative. Being stuck in with your own thoughts all day and no physical contact in many cases can be hard. I don’t think I’ve wanted to cuddle my friends as much as I do now and I’ve never been one for personal contact. My mental health has been on a rollercoaster. I’m not afraid to admit there was times I didn’t want to go on anymore. Where getting up in the morning was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But you know what I got through it. I’ve spoken to so many others who have experienced the same emotions so know that your not alone. It’s okay to feel lonely, it’s okay to feel anything other then positive right now. You don’t have to do something with your life like develop a new hobby all you need to do right now is survive and that’s way more commendable then learning the guitar or some other pointless hobby someone has got.

While there is still no end in sight but lockdown restrictions are lifting it is okay to feel scared. It’s okay to question everything. It’s okay to be scared of meeting friends and family. It’s okay to worry about going shopping. It’s okay to be afraid. It’s okay to have relapse of health anxiety and panic every time you go out. It’s okay to be concerned. So do what’s best for you and take your time. Do not feel you need to rush into things just as restrictive measures are taken away and someone tells you what you should be doing. Ease yourself back in slowly. If you want to wear a mask, wear one. Let’s try not to focus on what others are doing as it only gets us more upset and everyone knows the risks. Let’s try focus on just us and what’s right for us.

So here’s to 100 days. I can not believe it has been that long and it blows my mind even typing it. But we will come out the other side. We have survived and we will continue to survive. One day we will feel normality once again.