London v Ipswich: What it’s like being single in each. (A guest post by @itsallcominguprosy )

London v Ipswich: What it’s like being single in each. (A guest post by @itsallcominguprosy )

Hi everyone,

First thing first, I am not Charlie. Underwhelming, I know. 

My name is Ella and I run the lifestyle blog, It’s All Coming Up, Rosy. I’ve known Charlie since high school, and as we’re both bloggers, we decided to combine forces and do a guest blog for one another. Are you excited? I’m excited.

Now, you all won’t know this but I live in London right now, and I’m also very single/ may be in love with my ex-boyfriend. Oh, I know, it’s super healthy.

So, keeping all that in mind, I wanted to do a little blog post about what it is like being single in London compared to being single in Ipswich. Brace yourselves.

London: 

The club scene

I can’t begin to describe to you how much fun it is to dress up with my housemates, get ridiculously drunk, take an abundance of pouty selfies and go out in London. The clubs are stupidly expensive, but there’s always an Instagrammable gimmick or deal to pull you in, and you can always guarantee an incredible night out. There’s nothing quite like stumbling through the City not knowing what may happen, not knowing with who, but either way, there will be someone new everywhere you look.

The men 

The men in London are a different breed. Sometimes it feels like London is a very arrogant, very exclusive club I get to be apart of it. It has its downfalls – the feeling of needing to look a certain way, act certain way, live in a certain area. But it has its perks. 

Because with it, comes the men. The choice of any kind of person. Pop on any dating app and you will find the arrogant, incredibly attractive bankers, the Shoreditch artist types, the out-of-my-league Instagram models, the dreamy expats… you get the picture.

It doesn’t matter whether I’m even dating or not, but the choice is there and that’s part of the fun and temptation.

The London standard

I have a friend who was seeing a guy who took them to THE SHARD on their first date. Like? She didn’t even really like him, but goodness, that’s setting a high standard.

And with an abundance of things to do, you never get bored in London. That means no chance of a boring date.

If you want something touristy, head to one of the numerous landmarks. You got some money to burn? Go down to Kensington and Chelsea. Feeling bougie restaurant? There’s plenty.

It’s all very impressive. 

The attitude

No one cares what you do in London. No one will question you, or query. There are so many different people doing different things that when it comes to dating, it doesn’t matter how you go about it.

One week, I went on three different dates. I was so tired, but I had so much fun. But no one questioned me or my motives, they just asked me how they went.

A couple of months ago I was clubbing at G-A-Y, I met a sweet girl and got her number. No one cares. You just do what you like, with whoever you like.

Ipswich:

The club scene 

The club scene is… well, limited in Ipswich. 

It’s not a bad thing, you know exactly what you’ll get from each place. In fact, there’s something quite comforting about getting dressed up, going round a friend’s house, getting wasted and then going out. It’s innocent, tender.

And it’s also great being able to walk home. I don’t recommend you do it, at all. And I really shouldn’t. But I’ve walked home many times in Ipswich and it’ll take about 40 minutes, in heels. One time, I walked home drunk in London, in converse, and it took me over an hour. 

That was a very fuzzy night. 

The men 

What an interesting breed they are in Ipswich… 

My main problem with dating in Ipswich is that I already know everyone. Sometimes I’ve gone on Tinder just to see who I know on there, it’s a very easy and fun way to kill 10 minutes.

Not only that, but here’s a snapshot of the type of men on there: Lad, Lad, some boy named Callum, Lad, Farmer, Lad, Lad, Drug dealer. The dating pool isn’t exactly large, and while London’s men may be much of the same and more arrogant, at least, there’s more hope. 

The Ipswich standard

Now, I’m actually a big relationship girl. So, bar me dating in London, I haven’t been on too many dates in Ipswich as an adult. I moved to Birmingham for university at 18-years-old, and then came back at 21 and was in a relationship with an Essex boy six months later. 

So, our first date, we went to a pub and then went to Zizzi’s. No problem what-so-ever. Not nearly as fun as London, but with limited resources, it can’t be helped.

Our second date though was delightful. The company helped a lot, but we went to Felixstowe and played arcade games and walked on the beach.

Ipswich can be lovely, just in a different way. 

The attitude 

Here’s Ipswich’s main problem. Everyone knows everything about everyone. You bump into your neighbour, who’s hairdresser is a girl you went to school with.

The links are too close for my personal liking. I can’t get away with anything here without someone else knowing about it.

While it may be a nice, tight-knit community for some, for me, it just feels like a lot of people know about my dating life.

But hey, you can’t have it all. 

And… that sums it up from me. I’m going to go swipe on Tinder now. 

Stay safe, 

Ella

You can follow Ella’s word press here: https://rosytintedview.wordpress.com/

Follow her Instagram: @itsallcominguprosy

Also check her for all your writing needs! https://ejwrites.co.uk

Managing anxiety in London.

Managing anxiety in London.

Recently we visited London again. Now London is obviously a capital city so is always very busy. Especially when in tourist spots, shopping or using the public transport. It is easy to get anxious and perhaps even a bit frightened when travelling around London. So here’s how I kind of over come a lot of it.

Before you go plan routes, tubes, destinations, directions the lot and screenshot or write down incase you loose signal because shocker you won’t have signal on a tube miles underground. Plan what you want to do and when. Try to avoid rush hour and before 10am. It is pure hell travelling at this time. Find out what you want to see and do and don’t over book yourself you don’t want to be panicking all day about the next thing you’ve got to get too.

Breath, take some slow steady breaths and close your eyes quickly when you feel particularly anxious. Remind yourself you are okay and you’ve got this. I really struggle with tubes and trains since a family member died in the 7/7 attacks. For years I wouldn’t want to go on one out of fear of something happening to me. I’ve slowly got out of the fear but if it is particularly busy or the tube/train stops I get really anxious and panicky. I sweat lots, my heart goes and my fight or flight mode is on overdrive right. The way I stopped myself having one or two panic attacks was to concentrate on my breathing slowing it down and either closing my eyes or looking down at my hands or shoes. I grounded myself and told myself over and over everything is okay it’s almost done now.

Take photos. Be a tourist and get lost. Taking photos really helped me to destress and not focus on what is going on so much. If I can’t appreciate something at that second I can look back and see the moment through new eyes.

Don’t drink too much. Toilets are not everywhere and some you even have to pay for and you don’t want to be busting for a wee when there is none near by. Use the toilets when your close even if you don’t need to go. Do stay hydrated though those tubes a sauna no matter the weather.

Take a buddy with you. Take someone to share the experience to talk to and distract you while you’re feeling anxious. They can also help you if you get lost.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help if confused. A lot of Londoners can be helpful sometimes and tell you where to go or what way you need to go.

Save up. London is pretty expensive especially if going for a show or something. I brought a slushy puppy for 7 pounds which would cost 2 in my local shop and a bottled water for 3.50 which would normally be under a pound. Everything is more expensive in corner shops exetera and in theatres and some restaurants. So be carefull not to be out of pocket and expect to spend more than you would being from outside London.

Wear comfortable clothing. It’s hot in tubes so wear thin layers and be comfy. Wear comfy shoes heals are a pain walking around all day and don’t think about any shoes that will give you a blister!

Have your phone charged, emergency cash and anything else you might need like medication on you.

Just try to enjoy yourself and remind yourself your safe and having fun.