How having a traumatic birth and NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) baby affected how i bonded with my child.

How having a traumatic birth and NICU (neonatal intensive care unit)  baby affected how i bonded with my child.

When you get pregnant all you can do is imagine bringing your perfect little baby home the day you give birth. You can almost smell in your imagination that newborn baby smell and your heart aches for time to move that little bit quicker. Of course you wait patiently because well you have no choice and wait as the excitement begins to build. Nobody expects when you are pregnant that things can go wrong. Because well in honesty you can’t predict the future. As my pregnancy progressed i was so worried something would be wrong when the baby was born. I could sense it. I was called crazy for worrying and i was even prescribed anti anxiety tablets later in my pregnancy. When i was around 34 weeks pregnant i had reduced movements from Elijah, Basically i couldn’t feel him move all day for some reason. I was made to think it was all in my head and that i was crazy. Still i did as you’re supposed too i called the midwife switch board that always told me to go to hospital to be checked. I would sit in a busy or empty waiting room panicking. I was good at hiding my emotions but inside it was pure panic. What could be wrong with my baby?

Of course nothing was wrong that was seen from fetal monitors, but i could still not feel my baby. After the all clear was given i was sent home. Feelings returned the next day but then the same happened again and again and it got to the point i didn’t want to go to the hospital but i knew it shouldn’t be avoided. I went again and again and sat and sat until one day i was taken to the labour suite and kept a bit longer, deciding i wasn’t in active labour and no feelings they arranged me to have a scan the next morning. Despite the many, many people touching my stomach they did not pick up that my child was breach until the scan and this is why i didn’t feel him. After this it was decided by all that we would try and have him turned. After the most painful experience of my life and the little bugger not moving at all we gave up and booked in for a c-section.

When we booked the c section that was it for me. Anxiety through the roof and panic. I was convinced i would die or something would happen to the baby. For two weeks i didn’t sleep and pretended to be excited despite being so nerve wrecked i didn’t know how i could go through with it all. On the day i was booked in i felt strange, i was still convinced i was going to die or something drastic but i also felt like perhaps it was all in my head. That i was wrong, it would all be okay. I was right as i normally am when my anxiety is involved and things did go wrong. Firstly the medicine to paralyse me and stop feeling basically didn’t work and you can guess the rest in regards to feeling. I was put to sleep screaming and panicking and missed my sons birth. This is something that i will never, ever get over. Missing the birth of your own child is something i cant describe. When i think of it now my eyes swell up in tears, my stomach hurts where Elijah was and my throat goes hard. It is something i would not wish upon anyone.

Elijah was fine at birth and everyone was in love with him. James and my mum told me how beautiful he was but i was so gone from the drugs i thought i had imagined this whole thing and couldn’t really accept the baby was mine. I mean how could i? I hadn’t seen him be born. They could of stolen him for all i knew. It was weird to accept and everything still felt like a dream i barely remember this wet thing latching and trying to appear present when i was still so scared and didn’t know what was going on. As i said before i am very good at acting like everything is okay with me when it really isn’t. As I started to come round and after James parents had visited the baby he became unwell. Quickly. His blood sugars dropped dangerously low and as i had started to look at this new child and start to warm to him he was ripped away from me and taken downstairs to the NICU. I sent James with him because to be honest i didn’t know what would happen and didn’t want the baby to die alone if that was to happen. Obviously i couldn’t move. I was paralysed from the drugs. I sat in worry not knowing what was going on and nobody would tell me. Everyone had left, nobody came to tell me what had happened and those few hours where the hardest of my life.

Eventually James came back with basically no information and someone came in and said i could see Elijah in the morning but i explained if she wasn’t going to help me into a chair i would fall to the floor and drag myself there. I was helped into a chair and wheeled down to see him. Nothing will ever prepare you for seeing your newborn baby in a incubator. Nobody will ever be able to explain what it’s like watching your child’s chest rise and fall as machines and wires come out of every limb and bit of skin you can see connecting to medicine or monitors that alarm constantly causing a panic. I thought then and there he would die. Immediately i closed myself off to him because i didn’t want the hurt.

As the days went past Elijah would get better and then worse again. I had no hope past the third day. Seeing your child scream in pain as blood test after blood test and heel prick after heel prick is done. I struggled to breastfeed. I mean i couldn’t i was of course unsure of how and being in a busy ward with other people constantly looking at wires and alarms going off every time i tried put me off. I tried to get him to latch but he would barely ever. He would scream he couldn’t get enough from me and refuse to remain latched. I remember sobbing trying to pump and getting barely anything out. I would pump all day long to get as much as i could for him which was barely anything so i would have to top up with formula.I had never felt like more of a failure as a mother and as a person. Why didn’t my body work? Why could so many others do it and i couldn’t? Why where there people who refused to even try! I would frown when i would give a pathetic amount of my milk to my child and rely on something else to feed him. I wanted that bond of feeding him everything he needs but I had failed him.

My body was so exhausted from the surgery but i never rested i would sleep four hours a day and stand as much as i could possibly bare to change and feed Elijah. I wanted so hard to feel like his mum and not like another nurse on the ward to him. I felt he didn’t know who i was despite the fact i stood there feeling my stomach rip apart as i soothed him when he cried. I didn’t like being away from him i was terrified he would die so would barely go back to my bed to sleep or eat or drink only when doctors did there rounds.

Even when Elijah started to get better after a week i was sure he wouldn’t be. When they said we could go home we still had no answers as to why he was ill and i couldn’t accept no answers. My rational mind had nothing to hold onto. When we got home it wasn’t the glowy memory i once had it was panic. I sat watching him breath panicked that sids would happen. I was meticulous about him drinking enough and sanitising anything and anyone who entered my house. I was worried every time he made a sound or moved. I was so adamant he would die. I was worried we would be back to the hospital every time he didn’t finish a feed or had reflux down me.

When James returned to work and i was alone i had never been so scared. A part of me wanted so hard to love this tiny human but the other part of me was in panic and was controlling my feelings out of fear of being hurt. I was on auto pilot just doing everything for the baby and not being present in my mind to enjoy it. I don’t remember much from the early days except the pain of over exerting myself when i was recovering whilst also trying to keep everyone around me happy. I remember having many visitors and seeing family because i was worried i’d upset someone when inside i was so panicked someone would get him ill and he’d be back to square one. I remember needing to be alone but in so much company I was alone.

As time went on and Elijah grew i eventually learned to stop panicking as much. I realised Elijah wasn’t going to die any time soon and i calmed down. Slowly i became more attached to him. I accepted that he was my son and that i was his mum. I stopped trying to not feel hurt and accepted it and in time i became more and more of a mother. Then one day it just clicked and i suddenly knew that i loved this child with all of my heart and that i would die for him. I realised all that worry he would die was because i was being his mother and caring. I still doubt myself as a mother everyday and i think everyday how would my relationship of changed with Elijah if i was to see him be born and then to of took him home the same night healthy and happy. Would i of breastfed and bonded better? Would i be less worried even now almost three years on when he gets a cough or cold or goes to spend time in anyone else’s care but my own?

Who knows but all i know that is that the experience effected me to no bounds. That i wish that things had been normal and that i could be normal but they weren’t. I wish i has someone to talk too about it. Explanations and reasons why things happened. I wish i had understanding when i would have to tell my health visitor that i had to give formula as my body wouldn’t work. I think this post has been one of the most raw posts i have ever wrote. I may even show my counsellor this because i am having counselling for my traumatic birth!

I am as time goes on healing slowly and i hope one day that i can accept what happened to me. But i think there will always be parts of me that constantly worries about me as a mother, my son and the bond that we have. Whenever Elijah has been ill in the past my brain flips out i want to take him to a hospital straight away and when a hospital in past has confirmed he is ill and needs admitting my brain had shut off again taking me back to the newborn stage where i was present but not feeling and incredibly closed off. But for now i am so proud how far me and Elijah have come with bonding and he is not just my son he is my best friend who i love with all of my heart, something at the start i could never of imagined. Although I will perhaps never understand what happened to us both I will be forever thankful we are both here today and healthy.

Thanks, Charlie x

Yoto player review

Yoto player review

Before i start this post i want to apologise for being so quiet recently. Ive had a bit of a rough patch with regards to my mental health which has in turn caused a bit of laxness on my blog posts. But anyway i’m back now and i’m going to kick off with a review of the YOTO player. DISCLAIMER: I WAS GIFTED THIS FOR A REVIEW.

So first of all i just want to say are all opinions are my own and have not been exaggerated. So with that being said this little player is one of the best items we have ever had for Elijah’s bedroom and sleep routine. So first of all i will explain what the yoto player is. Basically it is a speaker that also works as a night light, reads stories, plays sleep sounds/white noise and even has a radio station and clock. It really does a lot and it is something i would recommend to anyone.

First of all the player is so easy to work. It took little time to set up and after showing my two year old how to use it he can change the story, chapter/sleep sound and knows how to use the radio and turn the volume up or down. We where sent a variety of books to try which Elijah has thoroughly loved. Elijahs favourite story however has been the Gruffalo. Elijah loves choosing his story and getting into bed. He also loves the responsibility of doing it himself and having the choice what he hears. The cards come in holders with stickers to hang to wall damage free too!

I love that the speaker is portable, once it is charged you can take it around the house with you. This means Elijah can listen to stories downstairs without the need for a plug. My favourite feature is that the speaker has a clock on it with day time and nighttime to teach your child not only the time but when they should be in bed.

The best thing about this is that i am often tired after a long day and once we’ve read a story to get to sleep i cannot be bothered to read more. This means we are able to select a story and make it part of our routine. Normally its the Gruffallo or the dinosaur that pooped range. I like that the stories have music and also icons appear on the speaker to show the story or chapter.

Once it is time to sleep i put the sleepy sounds card in and he requests a white noise sound out of the many available. Before Elijah would chat to himself for half hour or more a night before falling to sleep but now he just relaxes and nods off within minutes. We also took it to a grandparents when he stayed and they where amazed at the difference in his sleep too. I have also noticed he sleeps longer when the sounds play too. In the morning we take out the card as part of the routine and start our day.

We are absolutely in love with our yoto player and we are so very thank full we got to review. When elijah allows me to choose a different book i am so ordering some more for him to try, Also the gruffalo plays in my head after i’ve left the room now!

You can order a yoto player here with 10 pounds off – https://yoto.referralcandy.com/TX2DF6Z/rewards

You can also checkout their instagram here- http://www.instagram.com/yotoplay

(if you order i may get some store credit for more books )

Thanks for reading! Charlie x

The government needs to help to support our eating habits encouraging healthy eating instead of restricting us.

The government needs to help to support our eating habits encouraging healthy eating instead of restricting us.

Me again and a subject I thought I would never be speaking about. Healthy eating. I’ve struggled for years with my weight. Being younger I always thought I was fat when I was skinny and now I see myself as fat because well I have finally became it from years of unhealthy eating.

Why have I eaten unhealthy? Well when I was a teenager at 18 I got a job as a carer. I had to take my own food in and it had to be made quickly so it would be takeaways and unhealthy snacks as and when I could. As a carer you don’t get time to prepare a nutritious meal and it became habit to have takeaways most nights. Some sort of canned meal or microwave meal became my life for ease and also because of exhaustion from my working patterns . My mental health made me not want to eat most days so ordered terrible food I enjoyed in a bid to cheer myself up. It never worked.

The issue was also that it’s normally cheeper on my pathetic pay packet I got to order a takeaway or get a frozen pizza then get all the bits to create nutritious and filling meals. When you basically live at work it’s hard to want to spend your personal time meal planning and batch cooking too.

It’s a shame because I can cook. I used to love to cook. I also took courses in nutrition and cooking for work but it’s sort of came to a point I’ve aqquired a taste for unhealthy meals. Why change what you love.

Frankly I eat my feelings and since having Elijah I’ve really struggled to loose weight. Although I mostly eat healthy I have quite a few treats which cause the struggle with weightloss. However hard I try I can’t stick to a diet. Why because I struggle with restrictions. I always want what I can’t have. If the general public can’t be told no in a pandemic I doubt they’ll eat healthier because of the governments and rebel against that too. I’ve also felt there’s no support. My husband would offer to diet with me. But my husband works of a lot of calories and eats healthy so I wouldn’t want him to be underweight at the cost of me.

Putting calories on a box is great but who actually reads these things? yes the calories may be high but you kind of guess that when ordering a pizza. This is also a negative because those with eating disorders may not eat treats as much or fixate even harder or calorie counting.

We need support in perhaps advise sheets advising how we can incorporate healthy food more and remove some of the junk from our diet in a way we can have full informed choice. We also need more support for gyms exetra. Why can’t we do a 10 pound of a month scheme from the government where they help fund gyms and perhaps swimming vouchers too. The cost of memberships and days out puts people off straight away. Whilst I’ve used some pretty expensive gyms in the past I’ve always thought they where a little on the pricey side and thought about whether I can afford it. Money of schemes would mean more money spent on gyms and more gyms opening up and more people loosing weight and being healthy which is only a mega plus for the government, economy and the nhs.

There needs to be more support for low income families too. it can be expensive to resource all of the items in a food shop which equates too a nutritious diet for a family. Especially now in uncertain times with the covid situation putting jobs at risk and people unable to provide and looking to the government for help. Could there not perhaps be a discounted price on healthy items instead of just unhealthy items.

The government needs to provide support and offer more advice to those who cannot access their resources. There needs to be more support and understanding of eating disorders too. Such as those who eat their feelings and those who connect feelings to food. We shouldn’t ban unhealthy foods because we deserve treats but we need the advice and resources on how to enjoy in moderation and how to maintain a healthy lifestyle when you dislike vegetables exetra. I know the foods I can pick to be healthy but I don’t enjoy them. And whilst I’m starting my diet on Monday I wish I knew how I could treat myself without getting addicted to going overboard. I wish I had the support to know why I eat my feelings and perhaps have that support from the government with not only my eating choices but the mental health issues that cause me to eat badly and he unable to substation a healthy life too.

I know I’m shouting to the wind but this is just my opinion. I feel shunning unhealthy living is not enough when shame never helps anyone. It is support that helps us through.

I will be starting my diet Monday and eating what I can which I enjoy to be healthy but I know I will never know when enough is enough, how much of a treat I can have without putting on more weight. Because believe me I’m not going to only eat 5 magic stars on a cinema trip and I’m also not going to munch on a banana.

Thanks for reading. Charlie x

Online haul with cherryz

Online haul with cherryz

This is a advertisement of gifted products in exchange for this blog post review.

Cherryz gifted me a thirty pounds gift voucher in exchange for a review of their company so here is what i thought about cherryz, So first of all its really easy to use download the app and create a profile its that easy. Once you’ve done that its simple just scroll for what you want. With separated sections from everything from cupboard essentials, cleaning products to pets it sells basically everything you could need in your cupboards, I am a fan of doing many hinch hauls and going shopping and i end up spending way too much money. This enables me still to buy my favourites but from the safety of my own home. I also am able to monitor what i spend and not get distracted as easily. The app easy to use and is quick too. Everything i would normally buy cleaning wise was there as well as all the snacks i would often buy for Elijah.

They also sell some lovely garden and home bits and i had to stop myself from filling my house with even more things that need homes! I focused with my thirty pounds on getting the most for my money and also trying bits from each department. The pet range is really good and ill definitely be buying more dog bits in the future. I decided to get some treats for dog, poop bags and some pet cleaning supply which i definitely will be needing. I also got a microwave steam cleaner which i have since used and made a hard job easy! ill keep more on top of it now! I also ordered lots of snacks and treats as well as packed lunch basics for James and cereal. There where lots of cereals and crisps and whole range of cupboard food in stock too. Don’t shop when hungry. I ended up getting i think 26 items for 30 pounds which is amazing in my eyes. A lot of the products where cheaper then supermarkets. The checkout process was easy and theirs tracking and updates up to the day your parcel is due. The delivery only took two working days which was good. All products arrived well packaged and all where with good dates on too.

I can honestly say i will be using them again in the future to save my arms from the hauls i get myself into.

To check them out download app here https://cherryz.app.link/lifewiththehazelwoods and you can use my code LIFEWITHTHEHAZELWOODS10 for 10% OFF your first order on the app!

Thanks, charlie x

A day out at roarr! dinosaur adventures!

A day out at roarr! dinosaur adventures!

So last week we took a trip to Roarr! Dinosaur adventures. After Elijah starting to show a mild obsession in dinosaurs I thought it was time we go. I was a bit anxious he would get scared of the dinosaurs so we’ve put it off for so long but we decided to give it a try.

We live a little drive away so decided we’d get lunch from them instead of having hot and sweaty sandwiches so checked before we went what was open due to the coronavirus pandemic restrictions and we where surprised quite a lot was open. So after looking we booked our tickets and time slot. You have to book before you come so they can operate staggered opening times.

When we arrived it was almost like driving into Jurassic park spotting the odd dinosaur in the car park before we went to enter . Once we arrived we realised Elijah was slightly shorter then 90cm so they refunded Elijahs ticket which was really good of them to do! Once we’d sanitised and checked our selfs In it was time to enter.

There where lots of dinosaur foot prints to show social distancing and wear to go and lots of pumps scattered around although as few where empty we carried our own anyway.

Elijah was very excited and kept telling us all the names of the dinosaurs and jumping with excitement. We did come across one dinosaur that moved and roared and this made Elijah really scared as he thought it was real and he immediately asked to go home and back to the car and repeatedly said it was time to go after some encouragement and avoiding that dinosaur he became calmer. We then went on the trials and Elijah got excited again and pointed out all the dinosaurs he could see. He had a absolute blast.

It was a cold day so we didn’t do the splash water park but a few children seemed to not mind the cold and looked like they where having fun getting soaked. We had ago at the escivation dog where children can play in sand and find dinosaur fossils! We then went for a walk round the petting zoo and saw some farmyard friends and a few snakes and lizards. Elijah quite enjoyed seeing the animals but loved the dinosaurs so much he wanted to go see them again.

The dinosaurs all looked realistic and it was a fun day out. I was sceptical at just looking at statues but I guess it’s what you do in a Museum and we all used our imaginations. There where information boards at every display and you could climb for photos if you wanted. There was noise boxes with some of the dinosaurs too! We may return one day for the treetop climbing!

After we had finished walking we stoped by the takeaway snacks and got a large pizza and chips and drinks each to share and it wasn’t to expensive the food was really nice. There where lots of play equipment to play with and play park to play on so there was no shortage of ways to burn your kids energy off.

We where disappointed that the gift shop was shut till 1 so we didn’t want to wait half hour to go and Elijah was quite sad as we promised him a toy but we went to a toy shop on way home and he still got his dinosaur! We where lucky when we left as it rained so heavy as we got in the car it was like a monsoon. On the way out we grabbed a medal as there was no stamps to collect we picked up a medal instead.

We can’t wait to go again! Thanks Charlie x

We’re getting a puppy!

We’re getting a puppy!

Many of you who follow me on Instagram already know that we are adding a little addition to our family. Well the dogs out of the bag say to speak and we’ll be picking up our little guy next week. He’s a dachshund and will be 8 weeks on the Sunday we pick him up!

This isn’t something we suddenly decided it’s been a ongoing conversation for years and the time finally feels right. We’ve researched into training puppy’s, puppy needs and demands and everything you need to know about puppies.

Obviously puppy’s need a lot of care and attention which we have to give. I’m home a lot and not working means I can always be home more often then needed. James work patterns means he can take the dog for a short walk before work and I can do the evening walk when he’s home or take Elijah with me. Now that Elijahs potty trained I feel Now’s a great time to bring a puppy into the home so come when Elijah starts nursery in January I can leave the dog to do this and not worry about him being upset.

We own our house so there’s no worry about landlords and our house is already baby proofed so will be dog proofed too! We have a big garden and a park behind our house and we live next to many lovely places to walk.

We’ve looked into a lot of training and a lot of my family have or had dogs so I know how to basically train a dog. Obviously not every dog is easy to train and if I couldn’t get him to behave I’d take him to puppy training classes.

We’ve already signed up at a vets and also booked his first injection and everything that comes with it for the next year such as de fleeing and deworming treatments.

We did want a bigger dog like a Labrador. I’ve always had a soft spot for sausages but we wanted a bigger dog. After seeing a photo of Henry we had to go see him and that was when we knew he was our dog. Just the way he settled into us and looked into our eyes we knew.

We decided to get a puppy that wasn’t quite ready so we could prepare everything we need and prepare Elijah. We wanted to mentally prepare our selfs and experience a bit more excitement. It’s also been nice to see Henry grow from 2 weeks till when we can pick him up. We now have everything from a bed to toys and were so excited for him to come live with us every time we see his little bits and bobs.

We’re super excited to pick him up next weekend and I’m sure we’ll have tons of questions and worry’s like bringing home a newborn again but I’m so exited to see Elijah and Henry grow up together.

Bet you can’t wait for the puppy spam!

Charlie x

My social needs still exist after becoming a mum.

My social needs still exist after becoming a mum.

One thing that is a constant since having a child is that once you have a kid, the kid is all that is spoken about. Even when I’d just had my baby and had recently been ripped open and feeling awful at home the phone calls never started with how are you? it was hows the baby? It’s something that still happens today. Straight away people ask how Elijah is and never me. Or people call and straight away say can I speak to Elijah or hows my boy before I’ve barely even answered the phone.

There’s no talk to me just Elijah. Also many people are disappointed if I see them without the kid. If I pop by someones while child free or meet up with someone they moan that they wanted to see Elijah and they’re disappointed and I’m like sorry? shall I just go home then? I forgot I don’t exist other then to assist my child’s social life.

If I try to talk about myself it’s kind of returned back to the kid. It can be really frustrating and a bit upsetting to be fair. Sometimes it feels like your existence doesn’t exist beyond your kid. My friends are quite good and don’t start conversations with hows Elijah because they know I exist and have feelings too. Although my friends adore my child they would never dream of telling me they’re disappointed it’s just me who’s come to see them.

I still want to be invited out too. I found since having a kid I had lost a few friends because people just thought that’s the end of Charlie. But no it wasn’t. It was the birth of me. Having a kid enabled me to be more confident in myself. To want to actively go out more and have a social life instead of hiding in my room on my days of work. I wanted freedom to be alone and be me again in the strongest light. People worried all I’d speak about is the baby and I don’t think I’ve ever been that person to only gush about my kid either. If someone asks I tell them but I know lots of people who don’t have kids just don’t care. They’ve in fact told me they love that about me that I don’t bore them with talking about my kid all the time. People without kids just don’t care. Like I didn’t when I didn’t have kids.

I still have a personality. I still want to meet up with my mum friends with our kids but I also enjoy meeting up with friends and family alone at times. I like being able to talk about myself sometimes. I’m not vain but it’s quite nice being able to talk about adult subjects without a little earwigger.

I choose to become a mum but I did not choose to not exist beyond that title.

I still enjoy going out for meals with friends, cocktails, date nights and shopping trips. I still love the cinemas and going on walks too. I miss getting dressed up and not being dressed down because my child will destroy my outfit.

Just because we’re mums doesn’t mean we can’t struggle to. Ever noticed that a lot of mums don’t talk about themselfs so therefor don’t express their own feelings. It is so important to appreciate that there is someone behind the child. Mental health issues exist in the silence and it’s because this that depression can hideaway. I know for a fact my depression got so much worse after a child. Because it’s not all sunshine and rainbows, it’s sleepless nights, puke and a lot of attitude from your child.

Tbh my child is pretty cool and I could talk about him all day but tbh I don’t want to. Not only will I bore others but it also creates that weird online vibe where people think another kids better then theirs. Or worse I’d come across as one of those parents that I hate which think their child is a god and the best child to grace the planet ever. No child is perfect. Sorry not sorry. You also look like a bit of a tool. Still not sorry.

So when your friends and family have a kid ask them how they are. Ask what they’ve been up to. Talk about things not related to their children. Ask them if they want to meet up with kid or if they prefer child free time. You do get the odd parent who never wants to leave their child and that’s okay. Start a phone call talking about the person who’s number you rang and then ask about the child. Never tell someone your disappointed their child isn’t with them. Remember they existed before a child and they’re still the same person. You don’t have to meet up with the child all the time either. It’s a bit nicer for a parent to not have to worry about the child’s behaviour all the time so seeing someone in their child free time is a privilege which shouldn’t be wasted insulting them and making them feel bad about themselves.

Thanks for reading, Charlie x

Returning to restaurants after lockdown.

Returning to restaurants after lockdown.

Now that lockdown is easing there is a lot of fear about going out and enjoying things as we once did before. As the corona virus caused everything to shutdown it’s going to take some time to adjust to the new normal the world must adapt too. There will obviously be those who are afraid and those who are not afraid. While I personally am not afraid so long as precautions are taken I know others may be scared and that’s okay. But however let’s not judge others for going out and supporting businesses at this difficult time. It is not selfish. It is protecting jobs but keeping a income where we as a country don’t have the funds to provide furlough forever. The fact I went out is also wanting a bit of normality back in our lives. A bit of choice in how we live. If I want to see friends somewhere other then the four walls either of us have been confined too or a park we’ve walked hundreds of times.

So at the weekend last i decided to try eating out as I met up with my friend socially distanced. I mean socially distanced and not using it as to excuse bad behaviour. We met up with face masks, disposed of them before eating and washed our hands and kept a minimum of one metres distance at all times. We sanitised constantly throughout the day too. At the table we sat across from each other still keeping to guidelines.

So how was the dining experience you may ask? Well it went really well. We found a somewhat empty restaurant and asked if they had any tables. They did obviously as there was only one other table containing people in the whole place. Normally you need to book in advance but I guess we where lucky. The doors where kept open for airflow and all staff had masks on. The tables where bare and freshly cleaned over bar a decorative plant. Disposable menus where brought over at a distance and we decided what we wanted.

Once we ordered Cutlery and tissues were then brought over. Food and drink was placed on the table safely from extended arms at a distance. The staff where constantly cleaning hands and the tables. They wore gloves to collect the plates and cutlery we where given. We paid contactless from a distance again and then we left and put on fresh masks and santized again as we left. As we left we could see them cleaning everything already as we had got half way through the restaurant.

It didn’t feel weird or anything all the additional cleaning and measures. I think having health anxiety for years and being a germaphobe I actually felt the safest I’ve ever been in a restaurant. Once you get over stickers on the floor and the new lay out of places it feels pretty normal. I was able to relax. I was quite excited to be out again. To have my freedom back. I love my local supermarket but I cannot be bothered to cook the same crap over and over again.

The vibe was the same, music playing, the staff still as lovely as ever. The food still tasted great and we really enjoyed our selfs. I would defo go again and don’t know why I was so worried. Of course the virus still exists and there’s a risk wherever you go but I felt so much safer here sat away from others enjoying myself then I felt in tescos feeling like Cattle to the slaughter with their terrible distancing and hygiene standards.

So if your worried that’s okay. You don’t need to do anything your scared of but also remember these restaurants not only need our support but also have a legal obligation to keep you safe. So if you can take a trip to primark it is no different then eating at a restaurant! The restaurants really do try their best and feel safe. In fact safer then before.Do not do anything your not ready to do. It’s normal to feel anxious about change especially when we have been presented with nothing but fear. Many restaurants are still doing takeaway and delivery too! But from my personal experience I had a lovely time!

Thanks for reading, Charlie x

Chewy moon review.

Chewy moon review.

Disclaimer- Ad-products gifted for this review.

Elijah is a mega snack lover and we find it so hard to find new things for him to try when chewy moon offered some samples we leaped at the chance. We where sent a large selection (you can see each name on the photo with the product names on) to try and see if Elijah liked them. These are quite similar to a few high street brands but i think the quality is so much more than normal snack companys ive tried from local supermarket trips. The chewy moon packaging looks fantastic. I love all the Animal prints that remind me a bit of the design of a totem poll. If these where prints they’d be something i would seriously think of having in my sons bedroom as a theme. I like all the colour usage and there isnt a specific wrapping for a product so its like a lucky dip.

The products are healthy and packed full of good stuff the sugars are more natural then tons of produced foods. This means your child gets lots of minerals and nutrients while snacking. As a mum i always worry about whether Elijah is getting enough healthy food into his diet. I think i always will which is why i like that with these products there is a nutritional leaflet too! You can see whats inside and decide what to give your child.

There where a few dry fruit packets which Elijah loves. Anything remotely healthy for Elijah is a win for me. Luckily he has always liked healthy snacks as much as naughty ones. So far his favourite is the strawberry hearts he enjoyed taking his time to eat them too and the fact they looked like a tiny strawberry in the shape of a heart, The small size meant he didn’t need to scoff his face. He also really enjoyed the honey biscuits too and even i partake in a little snack they where quite sweet and tasty .

The size portions are enough for your child and perfect for on the go it means you can pack in your bag without taking up to much room and pack more that one and offer choice. We still have a few to try but so far we have tried almost all of them and Elijah has liked each and every single one.

You can check out chewy moon here – https://chewymoon.com/

Or check their insta here-https://www.instagram.com/chewymoonbox/

Thanks for reading! charlie x

Strawberry picking 🍓

Strawberry picking  🍓

Being a somewhat dry day in suffolk we decided to go strawberry picking before the heavens opened on our way home. What is strawberry picking? Well the answer is basically in the name itself. You basically pick strawberries and get to take them home. The good thing about strawberry picking is you get to choose your own fruit so you can be sure you get the best quality strawberries. At this farm you could also pick blackcurrants, redcurrants and blackberries.

So safety wise its quite a safe activity to do at the moment all you do is pick your own basket and then you have a whole farm to social distance. It was very easy to keep away from others. When we needed to pay we just went into shop and paid. I also brought some fresh fruit and veg and other little bits from the farms shop. There is something about things that don’t come prepacked in plastic that gives a much better taste and experience.

Elijah is just over two and a half so i was a bit worried he wouldn’t enjoy it. I couldn’t of been more wrong. When we got to the strawberry field and told him what we where going to do he told us he was “excited” and launched himself towards the giant strawberry on the farm. He enjoyed picking a basket and running around. As we where on a farm he was interested in the vehicles on the farm. He liked looking at the tractor and asked for a photo in front of some big yellow digger. We then went to pick the fruit he was excited when he could spot the strawberries. He picked his favourites at first he grabbed as many as he could see then we explained we needed to look for the reddest ones and he got very particular on his choice. He enjoyed running around and picking the strawberries too he did eat quite a few despite us explaining we had to pay first eventually stopped scoffing them down. (we told the shop hes eaten about 6 and they didn’t care).

Overall it was quite a fun family experience we all enjoyed selecting what we like the look of and knowing it was ours to eat. It felt quite nice completly picking our food completly fresh. The strawberries taste amazing and we have plenty to last. We will defo be going again! Hopefully before it’s time to go pumpkin picking!

Thanks for reading, charlie x