An apology letter…

An apology letter…

You may think reading the title of this post that i have done something wrong. You know the influencers that get called out on their shit for things they’ve said or done in the past. But this is not that type of post, this is a post about myself. An apology letter to myself sounds dramatic but its something that ive thought of doing for a long time. Writing down my feelings and sharing with my followers about how i am actually feeling and not living through bits and pieces i wanted to truly open up and also heal for myself. So here goes. An apology to myself…

As i have touched on many times over the years i have been nothing but honest about my mental health and how it has affected me. Things aren’t always grid perfect photos and happy little status updates you see on facebook. Life is raw, it is felt deeper than any ocean at times and at times you can feel like your drowning and the darkness covers you as you fall deeper and deeper.I would never of expected to of spent my twenties feeling the way i have. Hollywood movies showing us that all twenty year olds must be care free beautiful people who go out clubbing and have hundreds of friends and many flings as they stumble their way until their thirty’s where life suddenly gets serious. Which if that is you, that is also great. But what if you don’t want to lean on alcohol to enjoy life and you felt to socially awkward at times struggling to keep in contact with others? What if your anxiety kept you isolated and feeling utterly alone and unlikable? My goals in life where different and i guess to some that isn’t okay to them as that’s not what they wanted to be around but it’s about time i stop feeling bad for being happy and marrying the love of my life young and planning and having a child young. We all have different wants and needs from life and its about time we all accept that everyone is on their own path and lets support each other instead of this toxic cancel culture when friends disappear because you have a baby or we stop talking to our friends who enjoy nights out more than nights in.

One thing we have grown up with being in this generation is technology and social media. I honestly can’t explain how hard it is to grow up being conditioned to look a certain way and to receive a certain amount of attention from others to thrive. Oh how i would of loved to of grown up in a time where my own self worth isn’t measured by how many likes i may get on a Instagram post or if my face and body is as filtered as the next photo i see as i scroll down. Technology becomes addictive and we spend more time indoors then outdoors mindlessly scowling hoping that maybe we will feel something which well we never do. I apologise to myself for ever feeling i wasn’t enough because of the pressures of society. I apologise to myself for binge eating my feelings every time i look in the mirror and felt disappointed that i wasn’t as pretty as others. I apologise to myself for allowing myself to care about the opinions of others and allowing it to affect me. I also regret the time i have spent mindlessly scrolling my phone when i could of just been living my life care free. Why do i care what someone i went to school with ten years ago is doing as i scroll down my news feed. Like who the absolute hell cares and why did i care? I’m a grown up now yet i am still stuck in this teenage desire to scroll my phone and be updated of all goings on. What is that!

I regret not getting help sooner.I don’t want to play the victim but i haven’t had the easiest of lives at times. I didn’t have what so many others had and times i felt alone and miserable when all i wanted was love. Things said to me have stuck with me and ingrained into my constant thought process. I have become my own worst enemy, my own critic of everything i say and do and think. The thing is i would love to be able to just spend a day not over thinking every scenario. How i would love to go out in public and not feel like a whale and that if i open my mouth others will think im weird, or rude or just hate me because well i am me. I just want a day when i don’t think everyone in the world hates me or is out to get me. i apologise to myself for not allowing myself to accept that it is not my fault. That not everyone will always love you and you are not what others may say you are.

whilst at times i stumble through life in the search of some sort of happiness i end up ignoring what is around me because i am so wrapped up in this mould that happiness should be what others want and not me. My happiness is my sons smile and cuddles as he tells me he loves me everyday. My happiness is reading and playing games with him everyday. My happiness is my husband giving me a kiss on his way to work every morning and when he smiles at me whenever he comes home. My happiness is laughing and dancing around and just being present with my family and friends. My happiness is not dictated by others and i wish i could of accepted this earlier,

Everyday i struggle to get through. But from now on i will survive for me. I will no longer be a sponge for others negativity and i will allow myself to enjoy my life and not validate myself on the opinions of strangers, I am making myself stronger by attending therapy, by working out and swimming too get myself into a shape i am happy with. I have took on a few hours of work a week so that i can get out there and speak to other humans other then being a mum. I am in control of my own happiness and i will no longer allow my past to determine my future. It will take time but i will get there.

Thanks for reading

charlie x

Review of orchard toys games

Review of orchard toys games

Disclaimer: these games where gifted in exchange for review!

We have long brought and worked with orchard toys. My games cupboard is bursting at the seams with fun games we’ve picked up over the years. I will always say they have been a crucial part of Elijahs learning and development over the years. I’d like to apologise for this taking so long. Moving house in a pandemic and life got in the way so sorry! without further a due on with the review.

So first of all we where sent spotty sausage dogs. It’s a game where you build the sausage dogs up and then you try to match the colours and count using your child’s numeracy and colour co-ordinations skills. Elijah is three and quite advanced at many games so we where sent some harder games to play! Elijah is slowly getting the hang of playing so this is a game that will last us years.

Then we have penalty shoot out. A simple and fun game. You roll the dice pick up the shirt with same number as your dice then you turn over to see how many goals you have. It’s a great counting game and the winner is whoever has the most goals. This is fantastic for counting further then ten whilst you try to count the groups of balls which a lot of children’s games stop at. Elijah likes the colours on this and gets annoyed when he doesn’t get number four as it’s his favourite t shirt of the game 😂

And finally we have Dino-snore-us (I do love a pun) this game is Elijahs first proper board game and he loves it. It’s quick so it doesn’t drag on and Elijah doesn’t get bored. The aim of the game is to collect as many eggs as you can and not wake the dinosaur. He gets really excited when the dinosaur wakes up and I have to admit he is quite the cheat at this game!

Thankyou so much to orchard toys for sending us some lovely toys.

If you wish to find your own you can buy on their website or many retailers. Sometimes they’re in the special buy isle at aldi so keep those eyes peeled! The games are always affordable too!

Here’s there website with a link to the game ! https://www.orchardtoys.com/buy/dino-snore-us-game_492.htm

Upgrading our dining room with photowall Sweden

Upgrading our dining room with photowall Sweden

Disclaimer: the wallpaper was gifted in exchange for review.

Moving house is a lot of fun because of the chance you get to make it your own! I was really struggling to put my ideas into reality but when I saw this wallpaper I knew I had to have it. I wanted our dining room to be different. I didn’t want to have the same wallpaper as everybody else or copy everyone else. I love plants and there’s nothing more I love them nature so this wallpaper print was perfect.

The ordering process is really easy you just measure your room and a little bit on and it is printed to your exact measurements they arrived within 48 hours with tracking and messages along the way to make sure you would be in.

The product arrived with its own paste and in two rolls. We hired a professional to put ours up as I don’t trust myself to do it but it looks so easy to apply and they did a big room in a few hours!

The quality is fantastic and doesn’t reflect the sunlight. It’s stemless and you can barely tell it is wallpaper! We now have that absolute wow factor. We had some of their wallpaper in our last house and I almost cried having to leave it. They have so many different styles to choose from and I was tempted to do Elijahs room in a jungle mural but I decided we get the treat first.

I do love how it compliments the table and the patio doors too. I can’t wait to find matching curtains now! I know that this style will last for years and you can tell by the quality we will have no problems! Go bold or go home!

If you’d like to use my discount code then use this code for 25 percent off! lifewiththehazelwoods2021

To browse their beautiful products click this link! https://www.photowall.co.uk/?utm_source=charliehazelwood&utm_medium=influencers

Review of Jaques of London toys.

Review of Jaques of London toys.

Disclaimer these toys have been gifted in exchange for review.

If you follow me on Instagram you’ll probably know how much we love jaques of London toys as this is the second time we have collaborated with them. We have some beautiful products from them and they are such fantastic quality so I jumped at chance to work with them again.

With it being spring I wanted to choose toys that would be suitable to play outside. Despite it being sunny then snowing three hours later we still try to get out as much as we can to play!

First of all I choose the the nine pin quoits game. It’s a game I can play with Elijah and Elijah can play with anybody who comes round to play it’s a simple game of tossing a hoop onto the quoits in the hope of getting the most points and winning. Elijah however likes to cheat and puts them on himself when he thinks I’m not watching! It comes beautifully packaged and comes with a bag so you can take it wherever you go. You can take it to the beach or to a friends house the world is your oyster with this game! Click the link below to find it directly! You can the. use my link at the bottom of this post to get a 15 % discount.

Nine Pin Quoits – Garden Game

We also choose a biscuit set. No they cannot be eaten they are wooden! Elijah loves all the different varieties of biscuits his favourite is the gingerbread man. Which means a singalong every time he sees it. We have a a lot of pretend afternoon tea party’s and picnics in the garden or indoors so it’s great for all weather! They are made of wood so a toy that will last for years and years to come . You can find them on link below and if you wish to purchase use my link for 15 percent of you can find at the bottom of this post!

Let's Pretend Biscuit Tin

Overall we adore their toys and will continue to buy them for gifts as they are so beautifully wrapped! all their toys are high quality so can be passed down from generation to generation.

Use this link for 15 percent off!

https://jaques.games/15off

It’s a new year…

It’s a new year…

Whilst i wanted to write a blog post talking about the highs and lows of the last year in a reflective manor i couldn’t feel more against it this year. Normally i would set myself a list of unrealistic expectations and then feel sadness when i could not keep simple promises to myself. The simple fact is last year was terrible, Not the sort of year you try to find positives from but a year you shut the book on and perhaps think of burning. To many i am sure the last year had some positives that they could find but for me the only positives to come from the last year has been that i have learnt that i do not need to invest so much time and energy into others and to nurture myself. It is because of this new found self love that i am able to separate myself more before i become victim to my depressive and intrusive thoughts. Last year i became very invested in my phone, like many people had found themselves i realised that i had become addicted. The need to keep up to date with others gave me many expectations on what i should be doing with my life, how i should have myself together, how i should have life that is to be a insta worthy place. I would find more and more that i would question my appearance based on others, I would think does my house look good enough? I would think am i parenting correctly? am i doing enough? I would find myself in the endless scroll that never ended. Though i do not blame myself for becoming attached to my phone as it was my only means of contact to the outside world i still feel that it sucked the life from me. Since discovering my addiction i decided to use my phone less, take breaks and to remember the things that are posted online are often snippets of reality that are only showing the best bits of a persons life…

With that being said this is why i have often gone missing for chunks of time, i needed to concentrate on me and to take away the expectations put onto myself to create content that would be worthy of reading or seeing. There will no doubt all over the world be new fitness fanatics, artists, dieters and peacekeepers being created as we land on the other side of the chapter of last year creating more pressure for us to perfect our personal flaws. But know this, we do not have to improve ourselves, we are perfect as we are. Creating unrealistic goals and achievements can put extra pressure on us that at a time of such uncertainty that only sets us up for more disappointment. Remember if there are goals you wish to achieve set them for yourself in the mindset that there is no race to achieve them, there is no failure in giving up and it is okay to have no aspirations for this year.

I feel we will still struggle on this year as we all continue to battle the biggest pandemic in our lifetimes that forces us to hide away in our homes to keep ourselves and our loved ones safe. The battle has still only just begun but know that you do not need to change yourself in a pandemic because others are, all you need to do is survive. To not only survive but to find your own happiness, to listen to the stresses and thoughts you have and to try and make yourself feel happiness in yourself by doing things you may love and by taking the time for you.

It is a new year and instead of making crappy pointless goals this year how about you make only one to be happy, to look after you first and let everything else fall into place. So watch your favourite films, cry reading books and have so many baths you become a shrivelled mess. But do not think of yourself as a failure or a underachiever. We do not and have never needed to change. May this year be a year that brings you comfort and joy.

The TRUTH about buying a house in the coronavirus pandemic.

The TRUTH about buying a house in the coronavirus pandemic.

Buying a house has always been hard, You save all the money you can scrape together then put your hope into a lucky bank you’ve chosen to give you what you need to make your dreams reality. We brought our first house almost 4 years ago now. We gave up holidays and luxury to obtain our goal. It was full of whirlwind of high and lows as we went through the application process and then the actual buying of our house. We Ended up needing a broker after our bank refused to lend to us and went for a house we could afford. Once a bank told us what we could get we had to go for a cheaper house. I thought that would be stress over once our offer was accepted and we found our house. We then spent a long time chasing solicitors and dealing with the drama that comes with buying a house. Also add in the fact i was pregnant and working full time it meant i cried way more then my hormones should of allowed for. I thought once we had moved in that we would never have to do it again, i loved our little fixer upper house but it appears the neighbourhood has gone downhill as new people moved in and we no longer want to live in our own house so we have decided its time to go. So here we are in a pandemic moving house and But this is how it is different now,

First of all obviously with the pandemic going on it means that buying a house is so much harder, Buying a house is counted as a business transaction so viewing houses and all the little bits that come together to enable a house sale is allowed no matter if in a lock down. House viewings are done in face masks. You can only view a house with your bubble at a time so viewings cannot be done as quickly. This means viewings can take days to take place at a time. I once asked to book a viewing for a house and they wanted to book me in ten days later! One issue i had is that a lot of places wanted only online viewings and i personally don’t think i would be comfortable buying a house i have only seen through a screen. This means that i can not see the area around the house, listen to the area around and get a gist of the the neighbours which is why we are leaving so going in blind was not a option when it came to viewing.

Currently the government has a holiday on stamp duty. Which is great and a big saving to many, many people. However this means the market has gone crazy. So many houses are going for sale and buyers are biting up anything that comes up on the market. This panic affected us when buying. A house we liked was a bit too much money for us. Our first broker told us we had the money so we went for it as there was a offer on the house we wanted already so we wanted the house due to its location. We rushed looking around and decided that the house was the one we wanted and put the offer in which was accepted.

This caused a lot of issues for us. Whilst we liked the house as time went on and we viewed again we realised how small the house was in fact. We realised that the house had alot of issues from our soclicitor finding issues with the house which set of very red alerts. As solicitors are completly swamped at the moment taking on so many clients issues take alot longer to move. They promise six weeks to move but we where 8 weeks in when we decided to pull out after our mortgage was rejected.

Our mortgage was rejected due to many points, The main being our broker lied to us and also gave us the wrong figures on what we could get and as well as that he applied with too little information then what was required. Then there was the big issue that is affecting many, many people at the moment…Covid.

Banks are now being way more strict with their lending criteria. Covid had become a list of questions on many, many forms. All applicants for a mortgage have to prove that they can work through further covid lock-downs. They have to be “covid secure” that means no time off, no loans, no acceptance of government grants and no furlough. I have spoken to many people who are in the same situation right now have been turned down for small loans and mortgages just because they where furloughed or accepted a loan based on the corona-virus. Banks are also trying to process as much deals as they can as so many are buying and selling that this means that they can make money in the long run but need to make sure their selection is for the best. I can understand why but it is not a fair way to decide someone can get a mortgage.

James is self employed and as i no longer work as i became a stay at home mum there is no longer my employed paycheck as a stable salary is now gone. James now makes double our salaries and didn’t have to stop during covid as he works outdoors.However the banks are being really judgemental of those who are self employed which is not right at all. Also only a few banks will give to self employed at the moment and accept this years books so it is SO,SO much harder to get a mortgage being self employed then ever before. With that you also have to prove if you had to isolate you can still keep an income.Which we could as we have insurance and contract work to others. But again it’s another hurdle to jump through.

A mortgage decision can now take months. The survey on the house can also take months and the full connection from searches to solicitors doing their bits and bobs to connect the dots take even longer. My in laws are not moving till January and they sold and brought in September. Selling your house is hard too, you need to keep competitive with others whilst also getting the best deal. We sold and took less so we could get out quickly and get the house we wanted at the time.

So my advice to anyone buying now is look if your covid secure if you are not contact a broker to get advice. Do not look at a house without getting a broker to look at your file to see how much you can get and get accepted for. Also do your research into the best brokers in your area. We went with who we used last and they messed us over big time. We tried another and got a realistic amount we could borrow and we went for a house we loved for less money pulling out of the old deal. Take your time when looking around don’t rush, look at many, many places to get your moneys worth. Before we pulled out we looked around and realised we where paying too much, The house we wanted was a semi with lots of trees and on a hill and the new house is detached, bigger and is quiet and still near family a 3 minute walk from the old house. I wished we didn’t rush into the first house but thankfully some issues came up that meant we had to rethink and i think we’ve got a better deal.

Get a full home buyers survey. Your banks survey is basically a quick run round the house to basically check its there and it’s worth. However we paid for a full report to put our mind at ease so we wouldn’t buy a house that may fall apart the next day. We picked up the need for a new electricity box so we will be getting someone in to test the electrics to check if we need to lower our offer.

We are still awaiting our mortgage to be decided on which has took 4 weeks but we should hear this week. So remember your sale and purchase will take longer and patience is a virtue. You won’t be out in 6 weeks like they promise and it will be pure stress. People are slow on the selling and buying process such as paperwork and helping with querys.

We have decided that houses might fall in value next week so if we do not move we could loose out when buying again. There is also lots of people pulling out because banks are refusing to lend. So if we do not get our mortgage this time we will go into renting until the corona virus calms the housing market a bit but here is to hoping we get our dream house and our mortgage goes through.

Then maybe i might sleep again and not refresh my phone constantly. That and i won’t live in boxes anymore. Good luck to all of you buying and selling houses right now. We all know we all need it!

Doddl cuttlery review.

Doddl cuttlery review.

I was recently offered some doddl cuttlery to try on a gifted basis in exchange for this review.

Elijah has always been really good with spoons and forks, I have always offered them at meal times since he started weaning and he can use them very confidentially he will even use a adult fork and spoon if little ones are not available. e.g. most restaurants. The one issue we have always had with elijah using cuttlery is adult cuttlery can be to sharp or too blunt when it comes to knifes so he struggles to cut his food at times and requires our support over his hands to push the knife down. I had seen a few people using doddl knifes and was interested in seeing if this would help his chopping skills so i said yes.

We’ve been using the cutlery for around a month, The small grips are perfect for little hands so make it easier for children to use. Elijah prefers to use his normal fork and spoon but loves the knife. Elijah has been able to work on moving the knife back and forth and to press down to chop food up. The size of the knife enables him to scrap the food to the fork without lots escaping, He is more confident when helping me cook too. He uses his knife to help me when cooking. He helps cut fruit and veg or anything else we are making. Hes able to use both his hands as he prepares food which he normally struggled with as food would move around with his other knife.

I will be giving the spoon and fork to my friend who has a young baby so they can use those but we will keep the knife to help develop his confidence in using a knife! This would be more suitable for younger toddlers but the knife is perfect for those honing their motor skills to chop!

You can shop doddl here!

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Shopping list by orchard toys review!

Shopping list by orchard toys review!

Disclaimer- I was gifted a box of orchard toys in exchange for review of the shopping list game. All opinions are my own!

I have had shopping list for a few years now. I remember seeing it in a charity shop and picking it up and taking it to the till to try teach Elijah some words. We have had many, many games together with this game and have found orchard toys to be very beneficial in the teaching of Elijahs speech development and recognition of words, letters and numbers.

When I was sent the box with the updated version I was excited as I had a very old version with one of the lists missing. (Charity shop bargains can sometimes have their downfall). Elijah loves a new game that teaches him things and he was so excited.

Shopping list is a game which works by seeing who can collect all their shopping first. As Elijah’s still a bit to little to race against others we work to just complete the shopping list and name everything on the list. Elijah loves picking up the items and comparing against the list and putting in his basket. He thrives on the praise of getting things right so this is the perfect game for him.

There are several lists to choose from even one on a phone to make more modern. You can also choose from a basket or a trolley to put the shopping In too. Elijah likes the baskets the most as he plays with a toy basket the most! We love finding the food items and talk about the food groups they may belong too or what we use a product for like washing powder. The possibility’s to learn through this game are endless.

They have even brought out add on packs to game such as fruit and veg and clothing to teach your child new words and to identify more complex items. The mini packs that you add on you could play without the original set too so perfect for a quick game on the go or to take to a family’s house to play with them!

I will always and have always recommended this game to anyone with a young child and will be rehoming our old game to a friend and sharing the love!

You can check out orchard toys here – https://www.orchardtoys.com/

Or their Instagram is here- https://instagram.com/orchardtoys?igshid=23nidsqmaux8

Thanks for reading! Check out some of their other fantastic games here!

A home movie date for kids!

A home movie date for kids!

Looking for things to do stuck in? A movie is a obvious choice but can you make it fun? Children are simple creatures, no offence to my child but if I cut his food slightly difference he’ll be fooled into eating the whole thing. So to make a movie special for the both of you is easily achieved.

So first of all choose snacks, favourite snacks. Im all for healthy snacks but when you go to the cinemas do you take a veg platter? No you take chocolate. Sugar and treats in moderation is not a issue so enjoy a treat. Once you’ve decided what you want to serve at your movie showing then work on presentation. Putting food in little bowls and displaying them nicely on a tray makes it feel like a little buffet. A buffet of your favourite naughty snacks. You can get popcorn containers for as little as a pound. If your feeling Christmassy then displaying on a load of Christmas platters and using Christmas themed cups can make it that little bit special.

Make the environment different. Do you sit on the sofa all day and have a cosy rug? set up a load of pillows and blankets on the floor with your snacks in the middle and spice it up. Change the lighting in your room shut the blinds and put fairy lights everywhere. The comfier the better. With young children you could ask them to invite their favourite toys so come sit and watch the film with them.

If your children are older you could make them or get them to make cinema tickets for the night. You could also play a game to decide who gets to pick the film! For younger children pick a film they’ll like that you don’t watch often. Musicals are great as children are free to dance and sing along unlike in the cinemas.

Ban phones. Put phones away like you would in the cinemas and wind down. Talk to your children about the film and what they like about it during the film.

Just remember to enjoy each other’s company and only pay attention to the film and eachother untill it’s done. Don’t worry about work or talking to people. It’s important to spend quality time with children and such a simple activity with no technology is perfect for this!

Hope your not forced to watch frozen or trolls for the millionth time like me!

Has bullying affected who i am today?

Has bullying affected who i am today?

In short the answer is yes, when people push their trauma and jealousy upon you to lessen their load you will obviously have that load weighing down on you. This year has been a year of reflecting and boy have i had a lot of time to do that. It seems no matter your age being a child in school, a highschooler who doesn’t quite fit the mould of society or as a adult minding their own business when apparent “friends” begin indirect tyrains against you well, it can happen to anybody. But the thing is, some of us grow up, some of us don’t thrive on the sadness of others.

My bullying started as a high schooler and why? Because in a conversation to another girl a “friend” i said something as a question, obviously kids can be mean and twist what you say. After this happened basically the whole year hated me. For something so pathetic i was physically and emotionally bullied for three years. As a young child at the age of 11-13 every day became a tyrant of abuse. It got bad and eventually i moved school. You know what i left that school and i no longer felt scared, i found my people, i had lots of friends and i was never sad a day of high school any longer. I remember crying on my leaving day as i was afraid to leave my new safe place and my friends. But you know what a few of those friends stuck around and now 12 years later are still my closest and bestest of friends.

I thought i had left highschool behind, in that i mean the term childish bellittling and bullying. Apparently adults old enough to be my grandparents in previous work places have even felt the need to bring me down for no reason whatsoever. Strangers have commented on my social media and given me abuse for no reason what so ever. Friends who i’ve told my darkest secrets too belittling, copying and slandering me everyday in places they think i couldn’t see. All i have ever done is try to please everyone and do right by everyone and you know what screw that! I’m done!

Going to therapy enabled me to think. To stop playing the victim and move on. In therapy i was once told i have two options, to forgive or to accept what has happened and move on. I decided that forgiveness is the way, this way i don’t allow anyone to hold a power over me anymore. Whilst forgiveness doesn’t warrant a message to everyone i have ever been wronged by it is by rationalising peoples actions and relating to my own life.It is also forgiving myself for when i have became like others and pushed my trauma on others too, when i have reacted meanly to others.

I worked out that a lot of people have trauma like me, they feel angry at the world. Whilst i hold it in and cause myself more upset the way they process is through upsetting others. Of course this never solves any ones issues and just causes more guilt to ad to their portfolio. I have accepted that this is why i have been bullied, not because of who i am. Nobody really cares about me or my life some people just fixate on something they don’t like and can’t let go. I can now see why others do it, i understand and i am saddened that this is the way someone would push their feelings out.

I have given up caring about my past regarding bullies, sure the trauma stays behind but i now know why, i know i am not the issue, the defendant is. But still i have the feeling of extreme self consciousness. I regularly get anxious about others and the need to be liked, i struggle with everything regarding myself. I have times i want to delete my social media so that i don’t get others a chance to see into my life and judge me. But i know that i am able to grow from this, I am able to deal with bullying better. I am able to understand others emotions better. I am not as upset by others actions and im able to process things with a better head.

I am able to know how to deal with any issues that may arise as Elijah starts school and can teach him to be kind and compassionate. I can teach him to be strong and respectful for others and their feelings.

But i give no bully’s power over me anymore. Whilst others move on with their lives now i will slowly do it too.