Returning to restaurants after lockdown.

Returning to restaurants after lockdown.

Now that lockdown is easing there is a lot of fear about going out and enjoying things as we once did before. As the corona virus caused everything to shutdown it’s going to take some time to adjust to the new normal the world must adapt too. There will obviously be those who are afraid and those who are not afraid. While I personally am not afraid so long as precautions are taken I know others may be scared and that’s okay. But however let’s not judge others for going out and supporting businesses at this difficult time. It is not selfish. It is protecting jobs but keeping a income where we as a country don’t have the funds to provide furlough forever. The fact I went out is also wanting a bit of normality back in our lives. A bit of choice in how we live. If I want to see friends somewhere other then the four walls either of us have been confined too or a park we’ve walked hundreds of times.

So at the weekend last i decided to try eating out as I met up with my friend socially distanced. I mean socially distanced and not using it as to excuse bad behaviour. We met up with face masks, disposed of them before eating and washed our hands and kept a minimum of one metres distance at all times. We sanitised constantly throughout the day too. At the table we sat across from each other still keeping to guidelines.

So how was the dining experience you may ask? Well it went really well. We found a somewhat empty restaurant and asked if they had any tables. They did obviously as there was only one other table containing people in the whole place. Normally you need to book in advance but I guess we where lucky. The doors where kept open for airflow and all staff had masks on. The tables where bare and freshly cleaned over bar a decorative plant. Disposable menus where brought over at a distance and we decided what we wanted.

Once we ordered Cutlery and tissues were then brought over. Food and drink was placed on the table safely from extended arms at a distance. The staff where constantly cleaning hands and the tables. They wore gloves to collect the plates and cutlery we where given. We paid contactless from a distance again and then we left and put on fresh masks and santized again as we left. As we left we could see them cleaning everything already as we had got half way through the restaurant.

It didn’t feel weird or anything all the additional cleaning and measures. I think having health anxiety for years and being a germaphobe I actually felt the safest I’ve ever been in a restaurant. Once you get over stickers on the floor and the new lay out of places it feels pretty normal. I was able to relax. I was quite excited to be out again. To have my freedom back. I love my local supermarket but I cannot be bothered to cook the same crap over and over again.

The vibe was the same, music playing, the staff still as lovely as ever. The food still tasted great and we really enjoyed our selfs. I would defo go again and don’t know why I was so worried. Of course the virus still exists and there’s a risk wherever you go but I felt so much safer here sat away from others enjoying myself then I felt in tescos feeling like Cattle to the slaughter with their terrible distancing and hygiene standards.

So if your worried that’s okay. You don’t need to do anything your scared of but also remember these restaurants not only need our support but also have a legal obligation to keep you safe. So if you can take a trip to primark it is no different then eating at a restaurant! The restaurants really do try their best and feel safe. In fact safer then before.Do not do anything your not ready to do. It’s normal to feel anxious about change especially when we have been presented with nothing but fear. Many restaurants are still doing takeaway and delivery too! But from my personal experience I had a lovely time!

Thanks for reading, Charlie x

Chewy moon review.

Chewy moon review.

Disclaimer- Ad-products gifted for this review.

Elijah is a mega snack lover and we find it so hard to find new things for him to try when chewy moon offered some samples we leaped at the chance. We where sent a large selection (you can see each name on the photo with the product names on) to try and see if Elijah liked them. These are quite similar to a few high street brands but i think the quality is so much more than normal snack companys ive tried from local supermarket trips. The chewy moon packaging looks fantastic. I love all the Animal prints that remind me a bit of the design of a totem poll. If these where prints they’d be something i would seriously think of having in my sons bedroom as a theme. I like all the colour usage and there isnt a specific wrapping for a product so its like a lucky dip.

The products are healthy and packed full of good stuff the sugars are more natural then tons of produced foods. This means your child gets lots of minerals and nutrients while snacking. As a mum i always worry about whether Elijah is getting enough healthy food into his diet. I think i always will which is why i like that with these products there is a nutritional leaflet too! You can see whats inside and decide what to give your child.

There where a few dry fruit packets which Elijah loves. Anything remotely healthy for Elijah is a win for me. Luckily he has always liked healthy snacks as much as naughty ones. So far his favourite is the strawberry hearts he enjoyed taking his time to eat them too and the fact they looked like a tiny strawberry in the shape of a heart, The small size meant he didn’t need to scoff his face. He also really enjoyed the honey biscuits too and even i partake in a little snack they where quite sweet and tasty .

The size portions are enough for your child and perfect for on the go it means you can pack in your bag without taking up to much room and pack more that one and offer choice. We still have a few to try but so far we have tried almost all of them and Elijah has liked each and every single one.

You can check out chewy moon here – https://chewymoon.com/

Or check their insta here-https://www.instagram.com/chewymoonbox/

Thanks for reading! charlie x

Strawberry picking 🍓

Strawberry picking  🍓

Being a somewhat dry day in suffolk we decided to go strawberry picking before the heavens opened on our way home. What is strawberry picking? Well the answer is basically in the name itself. You basically pick strawberries and get to take them home. The good thing about strawberry picking is you get to choose your own fruit so you can be sure you get the best quality strawberries. At this farm you could also pick blackcurrants, redcurrants and blackberries.

So safety wise its quite a safe activity to do at the moment all you do is pick your own basket and then you have a whole farm to social distance. It was very easy to keep away from others. When we needed to pay we just went into shop and paid. I also brought some fresh fruit and veg and other little bits from the farms shop. There is something about things that don’t come prepacked in plastic that gives a much better taste and experience.

Elijah is just over two and a half so i was a bit worried he wouldn’t enjoy it. I couldn’t of been more wrong. When we got to the strawberry field and told him what we where going to do he told us he was “excited” and launched himself towards the giant strawberry on the farm. He enjoyed picking a basket and running around. As we where on a farm he was interested in the vehicles on the farm. He liked looking at the tractor and asked for a photo in front of some big yellow digger. We then went to pick the fruit he was excited when he could spot the strawberries. He picked his favourites at first he grabbed as many as he could see then we explained we needed to look for the reddest ones and he got very particular on his choice. He enjoyed running around and picking the strawberries too he did eat quite a few despite us explaining we had to pay first eventually stopped scoffing them down. (we told the shop hes eaten about 6 and they didn’t care).

Overall it was quite a fun family experience we all enjoyed selecting what we like the look of and knowing it was ours to eat. It felt quite nice completly picking our food completly fresh. The strawberries taste amazing and we have plenty to last. We will defo be going again! Hopefully before it’s time to go pumpkin picking!

Thanks for reading, charlie x

Get to know me

Get to know me

So i thought id pop on to write a little bit about myself due to my increased readers recently. First of all thank you for taking the time to read my blog posts. I cannot express how much it means to me that anyone reads my blog. My blog is my online journal basically and i guess you guys, my readers are already in my brain but i thought maybe people would want to know a bit more about the persons whos head your in. So without further adue lets get to know me.

So hello, My name is Charlie-Jane and i am 25 years old. I come from a small town in Suffolk in the united kingdom. Where i come from im quite lucky. I live in a town with quite a few shops and regular public transport that can get you wherever you need too. There is lots of countryside and beaches near me so i am spoilt for naturals beauty. I love going on long walks and taking photos, some would say photography is a bit of a hobby of mine. You’ll always catch me taking a photo of something and my camera often comes everywhere with me. I also love eating out and enjoy eating in restaurants and getting coffee with my friends. I love spending hours in a bookshop choosing a handful of books and getting lost running my fingers along the stacks and peeping a read of the blurb before eventually walking to the counter with my heavy stack. I love unwinding at home with a good book. I love reading and getting lost and escaping the world for a little bit. I love a bit of everything to be honest and i couldn’t put my finger on a single book genre i love more than another. I will admit though i’m more partial to being lost in another world then this world at times.

I also enjoy watching films. We love trips to the cinema and always have. I used to have cinema card and would go at least 3 times a month to the cinema. I would normally get a tango ice blast, a baskin and robins and escape to a film. At home i am an avid fan of watching new things and watch Netflix, prime, now tv and more all the time. My favourite series of all time is greys anatomy. I will re watch it at least once a year. I will also sob like a baby every time.

I love skincare and make up. I suffer with rosacea so i am very fixated on managing my skincare and beauty regime. I love shopping trips to boots and love reading in magazines and looking at instagrams recommendations. I love nothing more than having a full on pamper session. Nothing beats a full cleanse and a full body moisturising sesh. I love trying new make up.I love trying new things i wouldn’t normally try. I love finding something that works for me and i love when i get to go out somewhere nice for the day and put some make up on. I love being able to hide my redness and breakouts and feeling pretty for a few hours.

i enjoy trying to cook new things. I don’t enjoy cooking but i do enjoy trying something new and being creative in the kitchen. When i am super stressed i bake a lot of unhealthy but tasty treats. Some weekends i make pancakes when i am in a good mood and its the perfect way to start my day. My favourite food is chicken and leek bake. No idea why! My favourite drink is a starbucks chocolate chip frappe with caramel. My favourite sweet treat is chocolate, It has to be dairy milk always!

I used to work as a volunteer teaching assistant, i then worked as a support worker for people who suffered with learning disabilities and difficulties, i also worked with youth offenders and asylum seekers. I then worked in endoscopy for a few years before deciding to become a stay at home mum. I’ve learned so much in my past careers but i am happiest being a stay at home mum.

I met my husband just over 6 years ago. We dated a few months and then made things official. With James everything felt like i was in some sort of a movie. We have been like magnets since we first started dating i think when its real love you can’t describe it, you just feel full and happy. Pure happiness. We moved out together after about 5 months and then we got engaged after 2 years. We planned to start trying for a baby and brought our first house. We fell pregnant with elijah at 22 and we love being parents. We work together as parents and spending time as a family.

i suffer with numerous mental and physical health issues which can be very debilitating. I try to not filter these parts of me out because i want to be honest. I want others to know they are not alone in their struggles. Since becoming a mum it is even harder to ignore my emotions now. I want Elijah to grow up and know that its okay to talk about mental health issues. I also try to be honest about parenting because i myself get upset reading people only talking about the best parts of parenting at times. I want to lead by example to other parents that its okay to struggle and to talk about our emotions. It doesn’t make us bad parents.

I’m scared of death and the dark which is silly i know. Flying things freak me out as well as anything that slithers. I love autumn and hate the summer. I spend the whole time a sweaty self conscious mess. I love the rain and dancing around my kitchen to garage music or indie music from my youth. I love watching films that make me ugly cry. I have a late night snack every night even if i am not hungry and i have become a creature of habit. I want to cry when there is no chocolate in the house. I used to dream of being a mp and changing the world but knew i would never have a chance. I also wanted to be a comedian in high school and look at how that went. I always wanted to be a wife and mother and i completed those goals. I always thought id learn to be a odp and stay in healthcare but i guess my ambitions changed after having Elijah. I don’t think i ever wanted to admit it but i guess it just sort of happened.

Anyway i guess that’s me, In all my boring glory. I’m always up for making new friends so as always my dms are open. Thank you for reading my drool, charlie.

Do you journal?

Do you journal?

So before lockdown I started a journal. I’ve been told for years I should start one by many healthcare professionals after battling with my mental health. But I’ve always felt this sounds stupid and why should I do it? Nobody will ever read it so it’s a waste of complete time.

But after a paperchase sale near me a cute journal caught my eye and i couldn’t put it down. Sure I do the five minuite journal and self help journals but have I ever just unleashed myself in full? Let out my emotions I feel without saying the words and fearing judgement? No.

As a child I had one of those super cool diary’s you know the ones that had a electric lock and key and when you opened it there was a light and everything. Very swanky and perhaps the best Christmas present of my youth. Of course I wrote about pointless crap like how my day has been and how I hated my parents over something stupid like not letting me stay up late to watch ima celeb. But as I got older the beautiful book went and I was never to capture my love for writing again.

So coming back to it. At the start of lockdown I had nothing to do and I meant nothing. So I pulled out the beautiful bargain and started writing. At first I started documenting lockdown in some sort of justication that one day my diary may be read. Then I realised no this is private and I can go into my feelings. My real feelings. I wrote down things that upset me. Things people did that upset me. I wrote about my feelings and why I felt like that and shortly I’d written pages apon pages and didn’t realise. A small weight was lifted at the acknowledgment that I basically had somewhere to express and leave my darker emotions. There’s a reason why the mean girls called it a burn book I guess.

I kept my journal a place to write my emotions and my troubles. To express myself without a fear of judgement. I couldn’t judge myself as I will never read it again. I may even burn it when I’m done as therapy. But the release I felt. Obviously I wrote positives too but I have a lot of positivity journals I kind of keep this one as the feelings book and try not to feel I have to build myself up and I know it’s okay.

So you know what? I journal and I don’t care. Buy a pretty ass cactus covered or whatever you like journal and sit down for a bit and spill your feelings. Don’t read it again. Don’t hold back. Ask other members of your house not to read it or hide if you feel the need. But my god when they say it’s therapeutic they mean it.

Thanks for reading, Charlie x

Mud&Bloom Box. The perfect monthly activity box for little green fingers.

Mud&Bloom Box. The perfect monthly activity box for little green fingers.

Disclaimer: We where gifted this box in exchange for a review.

We recently have started gardening a little bit more now that it’s the summer and plants are growing a bit quicker. So when mud & bloom contacted us and wanted to send a box to review we where eager to try something new.

I think learning about how things grow and teaching your child the responsibility of looking after their plant is such a important life lesson. Elijah loves getting involved with crafts but then no longer wants to help. So this has been good to teach him things don’t last five minutes and we have to keep working hard to see anything grow.

So what we got inside: we got some seed packets, activity sheets, lolly pop sticks to label plants and we got some stickers for making elderflower cordial. We also got the dirt to grow the plants. They also kindly sent some chalk to draw outdoors.

Elijah enjoyed putting the dirt in the water to expand and then helping to plant and cover the seeds. Every day we got to water his plants and we’ve moved them to bigger pots. Soon we will be putting them into the ground. Elijah loves commenting on how big they are everyday too as we have breakfast looking at them!

Elijah has liked the responsibility and learning about looking after things and being gentle. I’m so thankful we got this box as it’s really shown me just how into gardening toddlers can be and it’ll be something we stick too! It’s given me more incentive to get him to help more in the garden too!

If your interested in subscribing to their boxes check out – http://www.mudandbloom.com

Thanks for reading, Charlie x

Into the green candle review. As seen in vogue magazine!

Into the green candle review. As seen in vogue magazine!

It’s always exciting working with a new company and as you are very aware by now I am the candle connoisseur. I’m addicted to candles and there is something about lighting a candle at the end of the day that screams I’m done and ready to relax. I also have a strong belief that you’re not done cleaning till you’ve lit a wax melt at the end of it and all the smells in the room just wait through the house and make you feel cosy and clean again.

I was very fortunate to be offered some candles in exchange for this review. So they where kindly gifted. They have recently been featured in vogue magazine and that made me all the more excited. I used to always buy things I saw in magazines as of course they have teams that research these products meticulously. So to be highlighted in such a big magazine screams brilliant product.

First of all the items are beautiful. The packaging and the product style is simple and chic. They’re small so no massive candles floating around and can easily store away if you don’t like them on show you can out away with the screw lid.

Breathe and Be is my fav. It smells like mint which I love when I’m feeling unwell and stressed out as it’s a clearing revitalising smell. It smells so fresh and clear and you can feel your lungs opening when you sniff it. The wax burns really well and you can smell after around a minuite really strong. It is so fresh and feels like it’s opening you up as you breathe in! This is the newest candle and I adore it!

I was also sent kissed by the moon which is another fantastic smell. I think it smells like a relaxing night time candle. It smells calming and makes me feel at ease. My anxiety feels like it’s a bit more calm when I’m relaxed so hats of to this candle! It smells almost floraly but earthy at the same time.

These candles would also make the perfect gift for any candle lover aswell. if you would like to try use the discount BreatheandBe for 10 percent off.

Please do go and support this small buisness. A follow, a like, a comment, a share or purchase will make them do happy dance!

Follow their Instagram here – https://instagram.com/intothegreen_handcraft

And shop here- https://www.intothegreenhandcraft.co.uk/

As always thanks for reading and for all collabs drop me a email! Charlie x

10 reasons why you should have a child.

10 reasons why you should have a child.

The other day I did a ten things you should know before having a child and today I wanted to do from the opposite side. The good bits. Every negative has a positive and here are ours.

One. The love. You will never feel anything like it. You will never love as fiercely and you would die for something other than yourself. You feel and run off nothing but love in the newborn stage. The toddler stages may be hard but when they cuddle you or say I love you it makes your heart melt. Even the hardest of souls are melted like me!

Two. They’re funny. Elijah thinks he’s a comedian. The silly things he does to make us laugh. The funny faces, the farts. Everything about them will make you laugh at some point. They’re just a ball of laughter and silliness.

Three. When you see they’ve learnt something from you. You feel proud of both yourself and them. You get so excited over the littlest things like rolling over or learning to count. Soon everything they do is interesting because you made that and it’s incredible watching someone learn absolutely everything.

Four. No judgement of watching kids tv and Films. Nobody can judge if your still watching a kids cartoon when they’ve left the room or for buying toys that are clearly more for you then them. Fairly sure I buy toys because I want them not him!

Five. You get to relive your youth again. You get to pretend to be animals, run around being aeroplanes and being silly. You remember things you loved as a kid and try to share that with your child. Creating memories while reliving your youth is pretty cool.

Six. You get to be crafty. You get to make arts and crafts and create play. You get your creative side out. You’ll be amazed at just how many ideas pop into your head. Even if your art looks like your two year at least you can blame it on them and class as their hard work.

Seven. Seeing your parents with their grandchild. It’s lovely watching your kid loving and being loved by grandparents. It’s nice seeing how different they are and the happiness they bring. It’s nice to see your parents have a playful side you don’t remember after the teenage stage.

Eight. Happiness. Your child will bring you happiness. When they smile at you, talk to you, do something new or just talking to you. Sometimes you just have to look at them and your happy. If you’ve had a terrible day a cuddle fixes everything.

Nine. Enjoying being a parent. Being proud to talk about them, being proud to be their parent. Enjoying that this is your life now. Although there are days you want to rip your hair out there are some rare days where you feel really great and like your killing this parent game! Days when you feel achievement because you survived another day and your kid did too!

Ten. Seeing a loved one with their child. Nothing will ever describe that fullness I get in my heart when Elijah and James play together or do something together. When they smile and cuddle. When I first saw James hold Elijah I think my heart wanted to explode out my chest I was so full. This love is like nothing I could ever explain.

As always thanks for reading, Charlie x

Revamping our room with photo wall

Revamping our room with photo wall

So the lovely people at photo wall got in touch and offered to send us some gifted wall paper to review. as we’d been planning to redecorate our room since we first moved in we jumped at the chance.

We immediately looked at what they had and had to make the hard decision on what to choose. There was so many beautiful prints and styles and I was so close to ordering a animal mural for Elijah but you know what I deserve nice things too! Ordering was super easy and we out the measurements in. Within a few days it arrived.

It arrived with instructions, paste and the wallpaper. You could tell the quality just from opening it. We went for the top range so no reflection at day time as our bedroom is very light.

Before. White, Chipped, dirty looking.

Now the wallpaper had arrived we contacted someone to come do our wallpaper the following weekend as covid guidelines allow it now and we got to work. Our bedroom was a state. The previous owners had rushed about and made a mess. Gouges in walls, dodgy filling, a whole in the wall and paint here there and everywhere. It took us four nights to paint the walls, ceilings and fill holes. We took of the clothing rails and filled and painted them too. We glossed everything we could and even touched up the door and window sills. I painted the inside of the fire box and it looked so much better.

Then came the wallpaper day! The guy came as we didn’t trust our selfs and got to work. He said it was super easy as it was clearly labelled and informed him wear to cut. He was able to line and match up the wallpaper easy. He said it was easy then the other wall paper we got for the chimney breast. When he was done we where amazed at how it looked.

After as it started to dry on wall!

Immediately it became the smartest room in the house. It was like our very own art work. Something different to any one we know. The flowers and birds are beautiful and like nothing I have ever seen before. I enjoy looking at it and thinking wow this is our room! I love birds and cherry blossoms so I’m so glad I picked this. It goes with bedding and my bedroom already so no need to change the room over either which is always a plus!

The only downside was we over measured and had to cut the birds tales of because of the door way and the fact we run out of space but I’m super glad the faces of the birds look like they’re peaking in and they’re all there.

I’m so thankfull and my house feels a bit more like a home. It’s my personality, my happy place my safe space!

Massive Thank-you to photo wall for gifting is this beautiful wallpaper. I will cherish it forever!

Go check them out here- https://www.photowall.co.uk

Also check their Instagram here- https://instagram.com/photowall_sweden?igshid=xh7cw7o04lxc

You can get 25%off with code – hazelwoods2020

Thanks for reading, Charlie x

10 things you should know before you have a child.

10 things you should know before you have a child.

Disclaimer : I am writing this from a more comical side then serious side. I don’t hate my child by posting these facts. These are things I believe that everyone should know before planning a child. Why? Because having a child is not all sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes it’s poo and tantrums galore.

So to kick this of I am Charlie-Jane. I’m 25 we planned and tried for a baby at 22 and Elijah was born whilst I was 22. Elijah is now 2 and a half and sometimes I think he might be slightly possessed with his temper at times. Clearly doesn’t have my temper because I’m of course a angel. Ok perhaps not a angel but not someone who thinks rolling on the floor will in fact allow me to have cake for breakfast. Anyway these are some of the things I wish I new before I had a child. So I could of mentally prepared.

Number one: There is less we time and me time. Your days become worshipping little evil spawn. Instead of having a zen bath or going for a date with your loved one your life revolves around being a snack bitch or cleaning the path of destruction that your child’s created. You find conversations normally revert back to your child and your so drained from parenting you really can’t be bothered to do anything. Enjoying peace and quiet is a thing of the past and conversations always interrupted.

Number two: You will only ever hear children’s tv show songs in your head. Inside my head is a collection of blippi, andys adventures, waffle doggy and mr tumbles greatest. You will get really into kids tv. You find yourself sticking a episode of hey duggee on and having a laugh and then realising your child’s having a nap. You start conversations with talking about the latest kids tv series you watched not the latest show on Netflix. You find yourself wondering how does Justin have so much time to dress up as all these characters and I haven’t even washed my face this morning???

Number three:You will never have a relaxing meal or drink again. Infact you’ll make a cup of tea and your child will distract you so much that your tea is ice cold and your full of disappointment. Eating your dinner peacefully? Forget about it! Your child wants to throw food at you, eat your food or get down. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve had a drink hurdled into my meal or my child ran of with my last sausage or smushed his food into the walls and across the floor. Eating at a restaurant becomes stressfull keeping you child entertained and on their best behaviour and sometimes you’d rather not eat out with them atal!

Number four: You will never have privacy. Your child comes everywhere with you. Staring, watching, planning their next attack! If you need a poo? Well child is coming too and going to throw a giant stegosaurus at your face. Trying to talk on the phone? Child decides all of the sudden they want to sing at the top of their voice! Just minding your own business shopping when your child decides nows the time to lift your top down and show everyone your boobies! Note to self, always wear a bra after the Morrison’s incident.

Number five: Kids are expensive. Always growing like some hyped up sunflower! One minuite they’re tiny and the next they’re twenty feet giants that weigh 77 tons. You go through clothes quicker then you can buy them and that expensive toy you brought well it’s been five minuites and it’s trash to them now. There’s always some new thing they’re into and new toys to buy. You’ll be really glad when you spend loads of money on something and they don’t care about it atall.

Number six: You’re always tired. Of course the sleep steeler cry’s all night or apparently like my child sings Elton johns can you feel the love tonight at 3 am like that’s the norm. Of course I want to be awoken to Elton John mate thanks! Your days start before the sun and yeah that coffees going cold so there is no help with the fatigue. Your running round all day playing and cleaning and your so stressed you don’t know how to function. Your mind is tired, your body is tired, you don’t know what day it is anymore. 9 months was not enough time to catch up on rest like they tell you!

Number seven: Your child will have a meltdown over ANYTHING. They picked up the wrong toy, you don’t have doughnuts in the house, you won’t let them lick a trolley while out shopping. ANYTHING. There is no reasoning with them either, everything is a complete battle at times. Want to get your child to put their shoes on? Cue half hour screaming meltdown on the floor wiggling around like a worm that’s been cut in half. Oh and yes they’ll be plenty in public and yes it’s humiliating!

Number eight: Say goodbye to your freedom. Want to go to the shops? Better pack a suitcase and load the car and pram and pack snacks and three changes of clothes and my life’s ambitions. Want to go on a romantic date? CHILDCARE!!! There’s no more dates without someone to watch your child. Want to go for a walk alone to calm down? Well you can’t! Want to wake up when you want and go to sleep when you want? You can’t! Want to go to a fancy restaurant? Well I’m sure there is no baby change or high chair facilities! Trip to the cinema forget about it! long walk? Lug a baby or buggy around or just bin it off and forget about it!

Number nine: Your body will change. You will put on weight everywhere, your face will change shape, your hips, arms, feet, hands and everywhere else! Your stomach may sag and you’ll have horrid squiggly lines scatted over your tummy. Your hair will fall out in clumps and you’ll block your hoover and drain almost daily. Your skin will get spotty or dry and itchy. Illnesses you never knew you had will come out of the pipework. You will get tired more often and if you need to sneeze or want to laugh?There is gonna be A lot of wee accidents. Wrinkles and bags under your eyes will be your latest accessories in your beauty quest.

Number 10: Your life will become filled with poo and sick. Yes you will have poo explosions where the watery poo reaches their hair. You will have the potty training poo in the pants. Your child will take their poo out their nappy and smear it all over their bedding, walls and cot because why not? It’s clearly scented paint! your child will throw up in your mouth at least once and my god a sickness bug makes you want to leave the city. So prepare for being covered, your child being covered, your house being covered and you’ll contemplate whether it’s easier to burn the house down sometimes then clean a smeared poo explosion.

Of course I love my child and I love my life now he’s in it but boy is a bit of a prick at times. Hope you had a laugh! Charlie x