Potty training

Potty training

Now that the UK is in lock down i decided with us being stuck inside constantly that we would finally get stuck into potty training. We have tried in the past and he wasn’t ready so we stopped. When he started more signs we decided that it was time and that while we have the time we may as well at least try. I’m no expert in the line of potty training and to be honest i would in know way want to be. It is incredibly stressful and probably one of the hardest parts of parenting i have come face to face with. But i think finally, we are coming out the other side. So if you think your kids ready here’s some of my advise that may help, or may not as every single child is different but it helped us.

So you’re thinking of potty training? First thing you need to do is look for some of the signs your little one is ready. Because if your child is not ready they will not pick it up and it will only stress you and them out. Potty training is already stressful so make sure they’re ready. So here are some signs to know your child is ready.

  • Can tell when they’re wet or weeing. Will pull at dirty nappy and be uncomfortable until changed.
  • Runs to a corner or certain space to do a wee or poo.
  • Has a fascination with using the potty or watching you use the toilet and want to try.
  • Their nappies are more dry for longer periods.
  • They tell you when they need a wee or poo.
  • Fidgeting before needing the potty, walking around, pushing legs together or just more fidgety then usual.
  • Wants to try pants.
  • Dry at nap time.

If your little one is showing a few of these signs then its probably time to take the plunge. You’ll never be ready to potty train but it is so much easier if they are ready and you start as early as they show signs. The next step is to get supplies ready to start potty training.

  • Take your child with you shopping or help them choose online big kid pants. (obviously not taking them if in lock down).
  • Explain about the potty and what it’s for. Perhaps buy a little book that explains potty training and read regularly this helped.
  • A potty. A travel one is a lifesaver so if you take it outside you can keep the contents safely till your home.
  • A toilet seat for trying on the toilet some kids prefer the toilet first and it’s there ready for the transfer from potty.
  • Disposable toilet wipes.
  • poo liners are a life saver to stop mess of poo in pants.
  • plenty of soap to clean hands more.
  • Cleaning products because it is hell of a messy.

So how did i potty train. We started with allowing him to sit on potty with nappy on, to get used to it. We would read books about potty training and explain what he would be doing soon. We took him shopping months ago for big boy pants and he choose them when we came home we tried them on. We started with showing him to go potty when we need the toilet. We would say we need the potty when we went to the loo to teach him we use the potty too. Then we started letting him wear his pants for a few minute a day. We slowly got him to sit on the potty to try we explained what its for and sometimes read his books to him. We stopped when he wasn’t getting it and waited until a few weeks ago and we have stuck to it. We repeated what we had done before and just picked it up as we went on. We got elijah to sit on it more and tried to take his mind of things, singing or letting him watch something. We used a potty reward chart with stickers but he wasn’t too bothered about the stickers but he did enjoy getting snacks as a reward. We praised using the potty and when he had an accident we told him that no wee and poo go in the potty and repeated every time. We would ask him where we and poo goes after a accident and he would tell us. We set alarms to try every twenty minutes to sit on the potty so he would get used to trying. After a while he got used to it and we could tell when he needed to go to the potty he would fidget a lot. We would take him to the potty when we thought he’d need to go and try. After a while Elijah got hang of it and started to tell us when he needed the toilet every now and then. Now he tells us every time he needs the loo. He will still have accidents but i think we can finally say he is potty trained. Thankfully most of the stress has gone and although we still have accidents it is worth it in then end.

Try not to put too much pressure on yourself or care about your house. They will have accidents and it will be messy, It will be stressful and you will want a break from it but if your child is ready continue. If they are not ready and don’t get anywhere with the potty try again in a few weeks. Remember your child does need to be potty trained at some point and they can’t start it themselves. It’s a part of parenting that nobody likes but it’s so worth it to see them grow up with another milestone proudly completed . If you have any questions lets me know! Good luck!

Don’t let your boyfriend keep you from your husband.

Don’t let your boyfriend keep you from your husband.

The other day i was scrolling facebook and this quote caught my eye “don’t let your boyfriend keep you from your husband”. It spoke to past me and how i viewed my past boyfriend as my world. We got together when i was 16 and he was my first long term boyfriend. When you’re in a relationship you can’t see your own worth. And although i think everything happens for a reason i wish i knew my worth back then and how stupid i was. First of all he was a few years older than me and that should of been the first warning sign but i was young and nieve. I was finishing school and he was of an age to go out drinking every night. He treated me like crap and i never saw it, i think when you’re young and rebellious you never see it. Despite spending almost every night crying and being basically used for three years i decided i had enough of wasting my time and decided to move on with my life. Immediately i felt better, learned to love myself and got to know myself more. Dated and got to know what i wanted in a guy. Then one day along came my husband and changed me and my life for the better.

Know your worth if you are not happy, you do not have to stay because it’s easy and all you know. You do not have to settle and you certainly deserve more. If you’re having more bad times then good times and your relationship gets tedious then it’s enough. You deserve more. If you spend time crying because of how someone makes you feel then know your worth. You should’t stay with someone who ever makes you doubt yourself.

There is always someone better out there.Your person is out there and as painful and heartbreaking as a break up can be the right person is out there. Someone who will treat you how you deserve to be treated and more. Someone who teaches you not only to love but also to love yourself. Someone who fills your heart with happiness and doesn’t need changing or want to change you. Someone who laughs at your terrible jokes, smiles at you with sleep in your eyes, a birds nest hair do and ignores your terrible morning breath. Someone who knows how you like your coffee and brings you one in the morning without having to ask. You cannot change someone no matter how hard you try or they say they want to change. You just have to decide what is better in the long run, you only get one life. Leaving my boyfriend is the best thing i ever did because if i wouldn’t of left i wouldn’t be happy. I wouldn’t sitting here happily married in our home and a parent. I probably would still be living at home stuck in a boring loop of arguments and annoyance.

Why is everyone turning into a troll during the lockdown

Why is everyone turning into a troll during the lockdown

So the yesterday I posted a photo that I had gone for a walk with my family to the beach. It’s a very short drive away and at the time I was legally allowed to do this and travel for exercise and we were also picking up my prescription which we had to travel in car for. We did not choose to go anywhere there where people and went to a old bit of a beach we know nobody goes. We would of gone to my local meadows for a walk buy the place is beginning to get busy as people discover it on a walk. They’ve had to close the car park to stop people visiting in groups. When we went we saw nobody and it was safer then walking around our neighbourhood. I have always gone to the beach when struggling with my mental health as it feels like a little holiday, a bit of paradise. Because I posted this everyone jumped on me and some people getting pretty personal which was very unneeded. Obviously I’d of deserved it if I had gone to a busy beach but I did not. And if I came into contact with any people which I did not. It really effected my severely down mood and made me feel horrendous and now because of this I’ll be scared to leave for groceries, exercise or for medical reasons because I fear I shouldn’t. Even though everyone else is going to jump down my throat again.

It’s really hard being stuck inside and I hadn’t took Elijah for a walk in over a week so we decided to go to the abandoned beach so we could get some pebbles for further stay home play too. I’ve noticed since I’ve been out people are turning quite vile on social media. Constantly telling people how to live their lives and that they can’t go out yet they’re doing what they legally can within restrictions. If the government doesn’t want people out full stop then they should stop allowing people out for excercise atall.

People are becoming quite personal and it’s breaking friendships apart. At the end of the day I followed government advise so my conscience is clear. I haven’t been out except for a walk or emergency food/medical runs . If people aren’t fair enough but people will always not listen. People will always fight the crowd. There is no reason to get yourself concerned and if your concerned contact the police. They can enforce the law not you.

Sitting behind a keyboard and spreading nothing but hate isn’t good for you or anyone else. Not just about the lockdown I’m seeing people judge parenting, appearances, houses and daily life. People are pulling apart people’s personalities at a time we should be lifting everyone up not down. I know a lot of trolling comes from peoples previous pain and is used as a outlet. Also a lot of people are scared and have had enough of being inside. But please don’t share hate it does nothing but cause upset and turns you bitter. Remember everyone is struggling right now. Everyone. Spread kindness not hate. Your comments may be seen you you as helpful and righteous but you never know the full story behind the person or their actions.

Romantic date ideas for lockdown in the UK.

Romantic date ideas for lockdown in the UK.

So you and your other half are on lockdown together and bored thinking of things to do. Normally you would go out for a movie or a trip to your faviourite coffee place and find something fun to do. But now you’re stuck inside. Nothing is open and your stuck thinking….What can we do? Well here’s some ideas.

First of all try not to see being home together as such a bad thing for a few hours. In reality we are all getting a bit bored stuck in the house but try think for a few hours your in the present it is what it is and enjoy some time with your spouse. Once you have a more positive mindset you may feel a bit better about the day and be ready for a indoor date.

First of all, dress up. Yes i know the tracksuit bottoms you have had since your 15 because they were once the most comfortable things you ever owned but don’t want to admit they’re now a food stained scratch mess are a comfort clothing choice during the lock down but think would i go to a date wearing that? If the answers no, change! You want to feel like you’re on a date so that means washing your greasy hair and having a shower. It’s amazing how much a shower or bath will lift your spirits. A spritz of perfume too will make you feel super fab even if there is nowhere to go. It has become a luxury from a time long forgot.If you want to wear make up to feel like youre going out it is not a waste if it’s going to make you feel good for a few hours and if you don’t want to and want to give your skin a much needed break then as shia labeouf would say “just do it”!

Here’s some indoor activivities you could do.

First up a cocktail making night! Get all your alcoholic drinks and fruit juices and fizzys and experiment making cocktails. You can order a fun cocktail making kit offline if you wanted to be more professional in your cocktail making skills. You can make mocktails to so it doesn’t have to be alcoholic i.e if you don’t drink or pregnant or something like that! Google some recipes online and work together to make some cocktails together as a team and obviously after sample them. Play some music in the background and just enjoy being free for a little bit. You might even end up a bit tipsy after so there is that too. You could always face time another couple and do the same and double date!

Try and cook something new from scrtach together. Then enjoy a candlelit meal together. You could flick through a cook book looking at something new you both might like and pick one at random. Or you could raid the cupboards for things you have that might go and make your own recipe up together. You could also challenge each other too cook a dish each and have your own master chef at home. Brownie points if your other half can’t cook and learns too.

Obviously hand in hand with cooking something new you could bake a cake or some cookies together. Helping each other and helping to decorate together can be quite a nice bonding experience and something to be proud of when finished. Also if you have a sweet tooth like me it’s great for being able to eat something naughty afterwards too.

Have a movie night. Get your favourite snacks. Set it up nicely so it feels a bit better (not eating from packets) put the lighting down low and choose some films. Watch a favourite each or choose something random too! Turn your phones off cuddle on the couch and get a blanket out. If you’re not a movie watcher binge, binge, binge a series!

Have a gaming night. Get some terrible multiplayer games out and shove a game on. Get competitive and have fun. Play things you wouldn’t normally play and retro classics to fully enjoy the experience.

Have a indoor picnic. Pack a picnic blanket and make space in your livingroom. Push sofas out the way and put a blanket or picnic mat down. Sit down together and turn everything of and just chat and enjoy your food. Have some wine if you like, Treat yourself!

Play some board games. Get uno out, monopoly, a puzzle or any games you might like. Make a competition of it and stop a game if you get bored> if you don’t have games make your own or play charades. Anything that makes you laugh. Again you could invite friends to play charades or drawing games.

Try and do a fancy dress with what you have and make a competition of it. Dress up as a cat, a Disney character or whatever you can think of. You can use paper, clothes or anything and have a bit of fun.

Do some art and crafts together. Make something or paint something together play some calming music and just relax together. Start a new hobby together.

Learn how to dance together watch a video online and learn how to dance. Or just have a simple bad dance session together. It’s always good for stress release to dance it all out.

Write each other letters. It’s romantic as heck and a great moment to keep. You can even do as a paper anniversary gift.

Have a self care night, have facemasks, spa trearments and give eachother massages. No it doesn’t always have to be erotic as i’m sure you don’t find it erotic at a spa. It’s wuite nice to show someone you care by treating them to a relaxing treatment every now and then and if the spas aren’t open bring them to you. Light a load of candles and get the aromatherapy essential oils on the go and just relax.

These are just some ideas of things you could do together obviously it’s not the biggest list and you might just want to chill in pj’s with a takeaway too as its a age old date from when you first started dating no doubt. Also remember we are still able to exercise once a day.. So go for a romantic stroll in the countryside. Go somewhere new everyday and look at different things. You can try bike riding together if you both have one and having a race against each other. Take your phone or cameras and take some photography and enjoy taking photos of things you see and each other. If you are away from partners too a lot of these could adapted to face time.

Isolation anxiety.

Isolation anxiety.

It’s a funny thing being in isolation. As a child it is used as a form of punishment in school. Being sent outside or to a room for the day to be alone in the hope that you fall in line with the rest of the children. And now… it appears to of become a way of life. I guess in some ways it is still a form of punishment. Because the world would not listen to the powers that be it has caused the sad spreading of the corona virus (covid-19) at a catastrophic rate. The advice was simple avoid non essential travel wash your hands and keep two metres apart, It really wasn’t that much to ask of a human.But that’s the thing about our species is we seem to have this function where we can choose whether we listen or not. Of course many people listened. Many of the elderly and the vulnerable self isolated and practised social distancing. But as always, some people just can’t take no for an answer. The restaurants had to shut, then then leisure centres which then spiralled to all public places to meet up such as museums, library, play parks and shops that are non essential. Now we are forced to stay home unless your job cannot be done from home or safely (unless your a key-worker). We are however permitted to leave the house for medical reasons or to shop for essentials. Fortunately as it stands we are aloud out for one form of exercise. However there are still plenty of people who are not listening. Who are making trips to the shops to buy paint or standing on street corners treating this another bank holiday. People are loosing their jobs day by day because of this disease and the longer people ignore advice the longer it will drag on. I am still seeing people visiting family and friends or having bbqs in the garden. People are also flocking in supermarkets getting to close for comfort to buy an Easter egg and no essential items other than that much needed product. The longer people carry the virus to households the longer this goes on. You may not know you have the virus or of already had it and be a carrier and spreading it to have a quick conversation with someone. Does everyone else in the world think we are all choosing not to see out family and friends for a laugh? Like we enjoy saying i can’t see you i might make you ill or you might make me ill.

Being in isolation has been quite hard. It’s hard for everyone but being a mother it makes it just that little bit harder for me personally. My son is almost two and a half years old and i am a stay at home mum. I am used to staying in some days but not all the time. Me and my son and my whole family really have very active social lifes. When i first became a stay at home mum after returning to work for ten months i spent quite alot of time alone at home and at the time i suffered quite heavily with post natal depression. I found that what helped me was socialising often be it seeing friends of family and making an active effort to get out of the house to attend groups or see others. Now that we have to stay home and not go out or mix households it takes me back to a time where i felt so alone. Obviously i have my son and husband (When he is not at work) and they are all the company i need but at times it’s hard to not be able to go out and see and speak to other human beings. Humans are really social creatures and i think that is why i struggle so hard with not being able to go out much. Being in isolation has been quite hard for my little chap too. He is asthmatic (as am i) and we are trying to stay in as much as possible. It is quite hard having to tell him every day he cannot see his friends and his nanny and granddad. Every morning he wakes up and tells me he wants to go swimming or to the park or to soft play and i have to keep saying no he can’t right now. Hes to little to understand which in some ways is a blessing but in other ways a curse. Luckily we face time a lot of friends and family and he is happy enough on there for a few minutes and can at least see their faces. However when the call stops he wants to see them and gets quite upset. I am trying my hardest to try and come up with fun play ideas everyday to bring him some excitement and structure to our days to prevent us both going mad. I have been making my own learning tools and arranging toys in ways to make them more fun but i am now getting to that stage of burnout when i can’t think that much anymore. You can see some of these play ideas on my Instagram page under the play ideas highlight.

We are still able to go for a walk a day but i am really struggling some days now to want to go for a walk. Unless others in the house want to go for a walk i really don’t feel up for it. Of course when i am out i feel glorious my worries fade away and i am unplugged from the world for a moment or two. But it’s hard to have the energy when you have started to fear the outside world. I think today my plan will be to go for a walk. I want to get Elijah to have some exercise other than online fitness videos for kids and enjoy leaving the house for a little while. Before restrictions i would take elijah to the play park behind the house for a kick about and trip to the play equipment but now its shut he wont understand and i don’t want him getting upset and me getting stressed from a oncoming tantrum.So it looks like i will have to walk a extra 15 minutes to the local meadows to get some fresh air so that means lugging the buggy as someone will not walk too long by himself.

The thing about social distancing i’m not enjoying is the worry that anything or anyone could carry the virus and that when i am visiting a shop for essentials that i am going to pick it up from a trolley, or the food i but or someone standing that bit too close to me. I went shopping for the first time in weeks the other day and i felt a panic attack coming on in the que to buy my shopping. The shops have changed and have lines on where to stand and que (not everyone listens) people wear masks and gloves and everything’s a little bit more stressful. I felt overwhelmed buying things as i was doing a big shop to avoid trips to my local little shop because i felt like i was being judged even though i brought everything i normally buy and less than that. I felt i was judged for everything i put in my trolley and wondered if someone would judge the gingerbread men kit i put in my trolley to entertain my son one day. The reduced tills meant i had to rush loading and unloading my shopping with others looking at me. I felt my heart beating faster, my hands getting sweaty and my eyes filling up and feeling hot. i spent every minute of my shop apologising to others and feeling really overwhelmed. When i got home i felt safe and like a weight was lifted off my shoulder. I’m starting to get anxious about leaving the house and passing people in the street and worrying in case i needed medical care for my pre-existing conditions and have to be around other sick individuals.

There is also a lot of mum shaming at the moment. Mums are telling parents to not teach their children whose schools have been closed and sent home with learning resources and expected to learn from.There are also parents shaming people for not doing enough. Who the hell cares what other parents do to get through this crisis. So long as your child is happy and perhaps learning something it is better than nothing. We have enough on our plates without others telling us how to raise our kids and the anxiety from posting a photo on Instagram of something that may upset someone because your either watching cbeebies or doing a puzzle with your kid.Like get over it. Mind your own damn business while your self isolating because hate is just going to make it worse.

I’m starting to realise my depression is creeping back. This may be because i am left with a lot of my thoughts recently or due to the under stimulation of being stuck in everyday without face to face socialisation. I’m becoming more tired and not wanting to do as much again. This may be due to the fact i had james home for a week and had help parenting and now i’m back to being alone monday to friday 6-5. Single mothers out there i salute you and take my hat off to you because it isn’t bloody east having nobody there to help. I am due to try a new high dose relaxant that helps with anxiety from pain management at the hospital and he said it works as a anti depressant so hopefully i’ll feel a bit better when taking it because the loss of sleep with this experience isn’t doing me any favours either.

So today i don’t have any tips really on how to get through isolation anxiety because really i don’t know myself how to get through any of this either. I don’t think anyone does. I think what is important is that we use this time to strengthen family links within the home and outside. Drop a few texts, make a few face time calls and even send letters. Ask others how they are doing and also take notice of who doesn’t ask how you are back. You will soon realise who really does have your best interests in heart and cares about you as much as you care about them and in some ways this is therapeutic too. Try is you can to enjoy your house, rearrange things and tidy things and organise your living space. Try and take in every part of your home remember what each bit of furniture brings to you in memories. For example i remember sofa shopping with my friend and how we laughed trying every sofa in the shop. I remember buying too many pillows to fit in the shopping trolleys with james and elijah looking like he was in a pillow fort, I remember buying every bit of my furniture and its memories that will last forever if i choose not to forget them. Stop seeing yourself locked inside but instead safe inside your home (if you feel safe) you are safe from the virus if you stay home. Remember that this will one day be over it will have to be the world won’t stay closed for ever and shops and restaurants will need to open again. One day soon you will step onto the front step shut the door breathe deeply and smile because the world once again is your oyster. You will no longer take a coffee with friends for granted, you will enjoy a trip to the theatre feeling each bit of emotion that little bit more understanding all these actors sacrifice to bring you that show.You will never again think of any trip outside of your house as a wasted day and see the world as more beautiful then it ever was before.