Has bullying affected who i am today?

Has bullying affected who i am today?

In short the answer is yes, when people push their trauma and jealousy upon you to lessen their load you will obviously have that load weighing down on you. This year has been a year of reflecting and boy have i had a lot of time to do that. It seems no matter your age being a child in school, a highschooler who doesn’t quite fit the mould of society or as a adult minding their own business when apparent “friends” begin indirect tyrains against you well, it can happen to anybody. But the thing is, some of us grow up, some of us don’t thrive on the sadness of others.

My bullying started as a high schooler and why? Because in a conversation to another girl a “friend” i said something as a question, obviously kids can be mean and twist what you say. After this happened basically the whole year hated me. For something so pathetic i was physically and emotionally bullied for three years. As a young child at the age of 11-13 every day became a tyrant of abuse. It got bad and eventually i moved school. You know what i left that school and i no longer felt scared, i found my people, i had lots of friends and i was never sad a day of high school any longer. I remember crying on my leaving day as i was afraid to leave my new safe place and my friends. But you know what a few of those friends stuck around and now 12 years later are still my closest and bestest of friends.

I thought i had left highschool behind, in that i mean the term childish bellittling and bullying. Apparently adults old enough to be my grandparents in previous work places have even felt the need to bring me down for no reason whatsoever. Strangers have commented on my social media and given me abuse for no reason what so ever. Friends who i’ve told my darkest secrets too belittling, copying and slandering me everyday in places they think i couldn’t see. All i have ever done is try to please everyone and do right by everyone and you know what screw that! I’m done!

Going to therapy enabled me to think. To stop playing the victim and move on. In therapy i was once told i have two options, to forgive or to accept what has happened and move on. I decided that forgiveness is the way, this way i don’t allow anyone to hold a power over me anymore. Whilst forgiveness doesn’t warrant a message to everyone i have ever been wronged by it is by rationalising peoples actions and relating to my own life.It is also forgiving myself for when i have became like others and pushed my trauma on others too, when i have reacted meanly to others.

I worked out that a lot of people have trauma like me, they feel angry at the world. Whilst i hold it in and cause myself more upset the way they process is through upsetting others. Of course this never solves any ones issues and just causes more guilt to ad to their portfolio. I have accepted that this is why i have been bullied, not because of who i am. Nobody really cares about me or my life some people just fixate on something they don’t like and can’t let go. I can now see why others do it, i understand and i am saddened that this is the way someone would push their feelings out.

I have given up caring about my past regarding bullies, sure the trauma stays behind but i now know why, i know i am not the issue, the defendant is. But still i have the feeling of extreme self consciousness. I regularly get anxious about others and the need to be liked, i struggle with everything regarding myself. I have times i want to delete my social media so that i don’t get others a chance to see into my life and judge me. But i know that i am able to grow from this, I am able to deal with bullying better. I am able to understand others emotions better. I am not as upset by others actions and im able to process things with a better head.

I am able to know how to deal with any issues that may arise as Elijah starts school and can teach him to be kind and compassionate. I can teach him to be strong and respectful for others and their feelings.

But i give no bully’s power over me anymore. Whilst others move on with their lives now i will slowly do it too.

The perfect Christmas gift guide for her.

The perfect Christmas gift guide for her.

So Christmas is coming up and I’m starting to scan the stores both online and offline for Christmas presents for loved ones. Coronavirus be damned it will not stop us enjoying Christmas and I will drop off presents on the door step wearing a Santa outfit if I have too. Don’t push me I will purchase one Boris. So here are some ideas I’ve had that I would both like for myself and as a gift for someone else!

So first of all I’m going in big. I’m not a materialistic person or someone who expects big gifts but the only thing I want this Christmas is this…

Photo from hotel chocolat

A hotel chocolat velvetiser. Have you looked at them? Not only are they beautiful but a hot drink connoisseur like me aspires for a new tool to master the battle that is making the perfect hot chocolate. Tassimos be gone we all know the new kid on the block is taking the lead. It gently warms and froths and mixes at the same time. Leaving you to do nothing but pour in and pour out! They also come with two snazzy cups for you to share your experience. It also comes in three beautiful colours and it’s a toss up between copper or charcoal for me. You can also indulge in some of the 16 hot choc flavours hotel chocolat have to offer making this the perfect luxury gift. And if you like me enjoy a good hot chocolate this is the way to go!

Next up we have a obvious and affordable choice. Bath bombs. Obviously we have the high street brands such as lush which are king but there are also little small businesses to try. Instagram is crawling with them and if you look on my gram I’ve been lucky enough to try some myself. they’re often very high quality and smell fab too.

My fav lush bath bomb!

An even easier choice now. Feel like you don’t know a person well enough or their very picky? Don’t want to give money? A gift card is the way to go. But where from? Well if into make up and skincare a boots or Superdrug voucher is somewhere you can’t go wrong. They sell all sorts from vegan to high end makeup there’s sure to be something in these places that your recipient will love. If you have a film fanatic on your hand I normally would suggest a cinemas gift card but because we have seen Covid destroy the film industry perhaps a Netflix gift card (yes they exist) or a hmv gift card for people who enjoy physical copies of films is the way to go! If you know your person is a foodie then a gift voucher to their favourite restaurant is always appreciated. If your not sure which one to get there are lots of gift cards that cover quite a few. Also you can help small businesses by asking if they do gift cards for eating out another day too! With moving house being a theme for us this year I know I would love a next/ dunelm or John Lewis voucher! I adore picking my own home bits and I’m very fussy about what I like. Play it safe and if you know anyone planning to move or moving this is the perfect gift to give. If you’re really, really stuck a amazon voucher is great because then someone can buy absolutely anything they want from a game to shampoo, you name it they have it.

Photo taken from wired.com

The way to my heart is through smell. If you want to get in my good books a candle is the way to go. For affordable options head to tk maxx where you will hit the mother load of candles every time. Theirs a scent there to suit every person. Want to support a small business there’s lots of small businesses out their making candles and wax melts! Check previous blog posts and my Instagram for my reviews on them!

A small business I worked with before and have even brought as gifts for others since is am botanical.

Beauty boxes/well being boxes. I love a pick me up and a surprise in a box. Many companies do one off boxes or you can subscribe someone for a few months as a gift. The perfect gift if you hate choosing things out! Take the hassle out of selecting and know you can’t be blamed if something goes wrong!

The contents of a well being box i received to review which screamed my autumn personality and vibes available from http://www.thewellbeingbox.com.

Another fantastic gift which would also be perfect for a anxious mind is a diffuser. There are many diffusers out there small and large depending on what you want to buy. Coupled with the right essential oils you can really help someone relax and they’re also great for keeping illnesses at bay. Many people are scared of candles because of the fire so if you want to give someone a nice scented replacement this is the way to do it! My favourite essential oil smell is lemongrass! Just make sure you check for pets as some oils can’t be used around them!

This diffuser was gifted to me from Smellacloud

My favourite gift every year without fail is pjs and cosy socks. Specifically overly fluffy ones. I love to buy other people cosy pjs too for Christmas and couple it with some chocolate and your golden!

These super cosy bed socks are from perillasocks and are previously gifted

Make your own hamper. You can buy a basket and then fill it with their favourite things. This can be done really inexpensively as well. I often make friends chocolate boxes filled with their favourite chocolates I’ve gotten from Poundland and thrown some tissue paper and they’ve loved the thought and effort!

Hope some of these ideas have helped and I’ll be doing a his and little ones gift list too soon! So that you can get ideas for the whole of your family! Thanks for reading Charlie x

Why is binge eating disorder never taken seriously as a eating disorder?

Why is binge eating disorder never taken seriously as a eating disorder?

The other day I did a few stories on Instagram about my eating disorder which is binge eating disorder. I was amazed and the amount of people messaging me saying they suffer too and how it rules and destroys their life’s too. The thing is people never worry until someone is loosing weight. But what about when someone gets addicted to eating their emotions and cannot stop eating? When someone gets in the mirror as they are getting bigger and cannot do anything about it? It’s not as simple as someone who enjoys big portions, it’s a uncontrollable sensation which you can’t stop. It’s a feeding frenzy, once you start you just can’t stop. You’ll continually put on weight and get judged as someone who likes to eat. You’ve tried to diet but depriving yourself just makes you worse.

However with binge eating disorder sometimes you do not even enjoy eating and are not be able to stop yourself. You can spend your nights crying and thinking why can’t I stop myself? Then your left to feel sick with yourself every time you eat and eat more out of that emotion. It’s like bulimia without the throwing up. It’s keeping the bad stuff in with no way out.

What is binge eating disorder?

Binge eating disorder is when someone eats food emotionally and is unable to stop. They may eat untill way past full and even cause themselves pain. Often we go out and buy bags full of snacks and eat all in one sitting. It’s having dinner then later eating crisps and three chocolate bars and a milkshake because you can’t help yourself. It’s like a addiction. You cannot stop. Despite staring in the mirror feeling sick or feeling horrible after a binge. It’s struggling with diets as you cannot control yourself and depriving yourself only makes it worse. It is never really feeling full. It’s eating to try and fill the emptiness that will never be satisfied.

Symptoms of binge eating disorder:

  • Buying lots of food to eat all at once. Some people refer to these food as a treat. Even if it’s every night. It could be a carrier bag full of snacks for one sitting.
  • Eating when sad. Not being able to stop.
  • Eating way past being full and it hurting.
  • Eating when not even hungry.
  • Hiding to eat or hiding evidence of eating.
  • Feeling like a failure or digested in yourself and body after eating.
  • Storing food as not to run out.

Normally people become binge eaters because of emotional issues or things such as negative body image. Anxiety and depression are normally the main cause.

There are times I wish I could stop. I’ll buy healthy food and meal plan and try to diet. Then a bit of stress comes in my life and I’ve spiralled. I feel disgusted in my self. I don’t want to look like this. I don’t want to be big I want to be skinny. I don’t want to be such a mess that I reach for a multi pack of chocolate bars to myself because something of minor inconvenience has caused this emotion.

Doctors never seem to care either. Obviously they are more concerned with people who loose weight from conditions such as anorexia and bulimia and rightly so. Loosing weight is dangerous to internal organs and is starving the body. However, when you can’t stop eating doctors just judge you. Like your forcing yourself to be big on purpose. They seem to not care about the negative effects of weight gain. They don’t seem to care that obesity causes a lot of issues medically too. Such as increased risks of cancer, diabetes and heart disease. The sluggishness, breathlessness and fatigue also clouds our lives too.

There are resources such as support groups,books and you can obviously talk to your doctor. However most people have sound that cbt therapy is the best help.

If you feel this is you then remember you are not alone. It may control you now but hopefully one day with a bit of help it wont! There are so many others just like you out there and you’d never think it!

Thanks for reading!

Halloween activities you can still do!

Halloween activities you can still do!

Now that it’s more and more clear Halloween won’t be happening in the normal way this year there’s still lots of ways to have fun. Last year I threw a Halloween party for Elijah and his little friends and this year we can’t even trick or treat. But with a little positivity we can still enjoy ourselves!

So here’s some things you can still do to celebrate Halloween safely.

Pumpkin picking. You can go pumpkin picking outdoors and safely. There you can distance, sanitise and make a day of it. Most places require a time slot too so there’s not too many people out there with you. It’s a great way to exercise and enjoy some time with others and feel the escape of the house. You also support the farms and small businesses too! We love it and have been every year for last five years!

Pumpkin carving. Once you have a pumpkin you still can enjoy carving or painting it. You can download stencils online and print of or you can design your own pattern to carve. Kids love the sensory activity of scooping the pumpkins out! Make it into a fun activity for all the activity.

Halloween crafts. Colouring and paining activities with themes such as Halloween can be great too. There’s so many printable activity packs free online for the taking. You can also paint some loo rolls and add pipe cleaners to make spiders! The possibilities are endless.

Halloween baking! Bake a cake or cookies with a Halloween theme and enjoy making spooky treats! Cut cookies before baking with a ginger bread man shape and you can make a skeleton! Make hotdogs and cut bits up to look like fingers then add ketchup for blood!

Dress up and have a little disco at home! Make Halloween snacks too! Have your own party. Play party games and enjoy yourself. Skype friends and have a virtual party too!

If your not isolating see family or friends for a coffee and call it trick or treating? Track and trace compliant of course!

Get cosy, watch Halloween movies, listen to spooky music. Whatever it is you do to get in the Halloween spirit. Just remember you’re not alone we’re all in this together.

No matter what you do just enjoy yourself and have a spooky time!

Hello again.

Hello again.

Sorry it’s been a long time. I’ve been battling a bit with lack of enthusiasm both with writing and with life. But i think I’m slowly coming out of the other side. So what’s new? Well I don’t think I’ve spoken about it on my blog as yet but we got a puppy. A blog post will surely come next all about him but for now you can’t say I didn’t tell you! we’re also in the progress of buying a new house.

Yes we choose the pandemic as the time to move of course…how typical of me. As if a global pandemic wasn’t enough I thought you know what let’s pick up everything we have and move. So obviously I’m stressed out of my mind with that. You know they say it’s one of the most stressful things you can do moving house? Well it’s true and even more so now we are sellers at same time as buyers. I thought we would stay in this house forever when we first moved in but as lockdown broke it came increasingly clear that we didn’t like our neighbour hood and me coming to the rescue of my neighbours and treating injury’s on the side of the road came to common a occurrence.

James’s business is doing really well despite the pandemic. He was able to work throughout due to being a outside worker and being able to distance. This has meant that we wanted to move more for the fact of James wanting to create his own water now and having parking at the house.

So we decided we’d move. At first we thought about moving to the countryside then I realised I barely ever see my family or friends anymore since moving so decided to move back to where I grew up. This meant we’re able to see family and friends and walk to each others more which will be lovely for Elijah growing up. The house we’re buying is beautiful we have loads of privacy and trees lots of space and heatedly attached to our neighbour. The perfect place for us all to enjoy. It’s a shame neighbours can make your life a miserable time and cause you to move. But I guess that’s life. So five weeks later we’re still waiting for a date while everyone works behind the scenes we want to be in before Christmas but who knows.

The exciting thing will be making the new house our own and more trips to Ikea! I went to Ikea for the first time in years and years the other day and I’ve never been so excited! Ikea is literally a dream! Everywhere you go in the show room is beautiful styled rooms that you can then go ahead and purchase. Honestly I was mind blown and had to seriously stop myself from buying things till we move.

But for now organising and sorting. We’re trying to enjoy the last moments in our house and make as many memories as we can. I get sad at times thinking how well leave the house we brought Elijah home too, the house he took his first steps and said his first words. It’s going to be odd seeing the house empty. I’m sure they’ll be lots of tears when we leave. I’m scared Elijah and the pup won’t understand we’re moving we tell Elijah everyday but still the fear lingers.

Not the most thrilling of posts but this is why I’ve been gone. It’s funny how stress messes with us! It can consume you when things are time pressured. But here’s to hope things will move forward soon!

Pen-pal for your mental health!

Pen-pal for your mental health!

For years i wanted a pen pal then all at once i had quite a few, from all over the world. I simply put a call out online and now here i am with new buddies from many interesting and exciting places. I’ve wanted a little something to give me joy and something which allows me to rediscover my love of writing and reading. I have always wanted to write, perhaps a book or write for newspapers but it is my anxiety and my dyslexia that gets in the way. My handwriting is questionable too. But despite my lack of skills in grammar and spelling i still love the allure of writing.

The thing i love about pen palling is learning about others, getting to know someone. Not through social media and through cryptic tweets and photos but threw someones heart, their souls they spill on to paper and send to you with complete confidence of your secret keeping. I have often spilled my life down on paper to a complete stranger turned friend. It is slightly like a therapy sessions at time. Whilst i often talk about emotions, the struggles of me and my mysterious writer i always like learning about their life. Its so interesting finding about what people like and dislike. It’s interesting finding about culture and food from other parts of the world.

The stationary usage is well worth it too. I love buying cute stationary but never have a reason to use it. I love receiving the pretty little notes from another person too. When i write back i always love putting effort into my little notes. I love being crafty and working on my little project. I often make little lists with books my pen pal would enjoy. I also put in some lists of songs/artists i like others will like. I put in mental health promoting cards and positive words and affirmations on sticky notes. I also send over some photos that make me happy and even put a poem in each letter. As well i like to put a little pick me up in the post too so they can enjoy a flavoured tea or coffee or even a sweet.

Life is to short to live behind computer screens. Write to new people, live in someone else’s life and escape reality while you are reading their letters. Talk about you, your life in the purest way. It gives me a short relief when i get too write to someone. I love waiting for and receiving the letters. I love buying bits for my pen pal letter and things to put inside. I love being able to be creative and not being judged for it. So do it! Find a pen pal, send them a letter and make a friend.

Thank’s for reading! Charlie x

Social anxiety about solo parenting in public.

Social anxiety about solo parenting in public.

Sometimes we all have such busy schedules that we never really just spend the day with our child out and about on our own. I am forever guilty of spending lots of time with friends or as a family out and about. This isn’t a bad thing because Elijah loves spending time with others and asks to go out everyday. However normally on days we have no plans we stay at home watching tv and learning. Again this isn’t a bad thing either as we love spending time together at home. But one thing i have always been anxious about is going out just me and my child. When he was a baby it was fine. I loved pushing him around in his buggy and going to community centres and baby groups. However as Elijah got older the tantrums started.

Of course it is natural for children to express their emotions in the form of a tantrum. With the amount of emotion they are feeling and the incapability of explaining their emotions they become upset and warrants a screaming on floor session. However i have always been someone who cares about other peoples opinions whether i like it or not. So a tantrum would cause my social anxiety to go into over board if i was alone because well all eyes would be on me and there would be nobody else to help distract him.

The thing is when a child has a tantrum. It is natural to stare and look, not to judge as so many people do but to see where the noise is coming from. Curiosity always wins, if someone was to scream in a supermarket or shop would you not ping your head round to look for the route cause of the noise.When you have social anxiety if anyone looks at you it is your worse nightmare. Frankly i dislike being in any sort of a attention platform so also don’t really like when we are out and Elijah is being good and many people come to talk to me about him. I don’t mind being nice to others and speaking to strangers but it does make me feel uncomfortable. Especially when people touch him (even before covid) or don’t take the hint the conversation is over.

Because i suffer from a chronic illness as well i sometimes don’t have much strength as apposed to other parents. I can’t always pick him up and carry him long when he flops to the floor. We have also gotten rid of his buggy because he wouldn’t sit in it and also i think he is too old for it. He is sometimes tired which causes more tantrums and because we often go for nice long walks he can sometime get bit touchy. However when i go oit without james i never take him anywhere which will over tire him because of this.

I always panic about taking Elijah to restaurants because when he is bored he acts up and misbehaves. But however i have found that if i take him a bag of toys out with us he is normally quite well behaved. I have been known to take games and even playdough if needed. But being alone again is still stress full.

However i have been trying to go out of my comfort zone a lot more these days . I have been forcing myself to overcome my anxiety and take Elijah out just the two of us at least once a week. I started by taking him to the library, then to soft play and then out for meals and trips into town. I have started to slowly build up my confidence and i just try to keep myself calm if Elijah does have a tantrum. I try to remain calm and speak to Elijah calmly and explain things clearly to him, i try to distract him or structure my day so we don’t go out when he is sleepy or going to get tired walking around too much. I will not let my anxiety control me or my sons life. Lock down affected me a lot in regards to going out because i am so scared of covid but the more i go out the more i journey outside the more i feel a bit more comfortable. I teach Elijah to distance as well as hand washing regularly. I just have to accept this is the world we live in now and it’s not healthy to stay in one place for the rest of our lives, so long as we are careful and i overcome my anxiety then we are able to live a relatively normal life.

If you are feeling anxious about going out solo with your toddler remember you are not alone. Baby steps can help at times and things do get better. Things are not always as bad as our head makes it out to be. Yes there are times i take him out and his naughty but sometimes he can be a complete angel. He will be the best behaved little boy ever. It is rare he is naughty but when he is the odd time it makes me still feel anxious and stressed but i try to remember this is just a bad day and we will get through it.

Thanks for reading, charlie x

10 signs you might be depressed.

10 signs you might be depressed.

Sometimes when you’re depressed you can’t even notice the signs. A lot of people just think of depression as sadness but also as just a emotion that passes. This is why I put together some small signs I have presented which you may recognise in yourself that indicate when I am feeling depressed.

One- You struggle to find motivation in household chores. You can’t find the energy to make the bed, chores such as washing up are exhausting and you put of jobs as long as possible. Your house gets more messy as your mood drops.

Two- Your personal hygiene may fail you. You may find having a bath or shower the absolutely last thing you want to do. You may say tomorrow to having a wash. You may go a long time without washing or brushing your hair. You may stop washing your face because you lack the motivation to do it. You may wear the same clothes for days because they’re comfy and you can’t be bothered to change them.

Three-You loose interest in things. Watching tv becomes boring and draining. You don’t enjoy reading, texting, or anything else you normally would enjoy. You get overwhelmed forcing yourself to do things you normally enjoy.

Four-You loose focus. You’re unable to take in information. Unable to concentrate on conversations. Your mind wonders and you don’t follow what’s said.

Five-You’re easily confused. You are unable to remember things at times and situations confuse you. Sometimes following simple instructions is confusing as you are unable to concentrate on the task at hand.

Six-Your easily upset. Other people upset you easily. You find offence in a lot of situations and you don’t know why. You randomly cry sometimes for no reason.

Seven-You could struggle to sleep or sleep too much. Choosing to sleep in instead of getting up and ready. You also may be wide awake all night.

Eight-Finding negatives in every situation. Thinking you will fail or things will go wrong for you all the time. Loosing hope in the future.

Nine-You may also suffer from anxiety which you didn’t suffer with before. You may become worried constantly. Anxiety normally comes hand in hand with depression.

Ten-You think what is the point of life. You question why your here. If it would make a difference if you where gone. You may feel you’ve become hopeless thinking about your death and existence.

If you are feeling like some of these things I’ve listed you may need to contact your gp and get some advice and help. You may also want to talk to someone about your feelings. If you are thy inking about death it is very important to speak out now and seek the help you need. You can find help with mind.org or calling the Samaritans on 116 123 at any time of the day or night. My emails are always open too.

Thanks for reading, Charlie x

Mens mental health is as important as a womens.

Mens mental health is as important as a womens.

When mental health is spoken about sadly I see a lot of women speaking about it more then men. Why? Because sometimes they can be more comfortable talking about it. It doesn’t mean men don’t have mental health issues but they are a victim of sexism in the form of being told to man up. Which is only more damaging to someone already not in the best of places. A woman may get a lot of sexism in the way people can say it’s hormones or women are just sensitive. Yet men are stigmatised thinking their genetic make up means no sadness is allowed to be felt.How often have you watched a film and seen a man cry? I don’t think I ever have. Yet I see so many films and tv series when woman cry all the time.

One person dies of suicide every 40 seconds. Now we know that did you know that more men commit suicide then women?

With media and social pressures to be a manly man there is no real help out there aimed at men sometimes. Counselling is normally advertised as women with girly fonts and colours. If a man was also to say he was going to counselling it would be more judged then a woman saying it. We need to normalise crying, emotions and allow our men and boys to feel as deeply as they can without feeling judged.

With facts like this it’s hard to ignore that men need the care and love women do. Why is it we have so many people that go around spreading love for the women and for women’s mental health but not for men. Men are barely ever spoken about. The issue is simply men have always been seen as in charge. This is a generational thing as long as history goes where men have been seen as the ones who have to have it all together. To support others and to never complain. But we don’t live in the fifties anymore. We live in generations where the burden shouldn’t be on the men as much as if we can learn from everything else that’s gone wrong in the world, we can learn to respect one another’s sex and support them and their emotions as equals.

I always regularly ask my husband if he’s okay or if he’s too stressed. I ask him to be honest with me and when I can see signs he’s stressed I try my best to allow him to talk about it or get rid of those emotions the best he can. Whether it be playing video games all night or perhaps we sit and watch a film together with our phones off. Or we go out for a long walk as a family or he even goes out with his friends for a drink. I try to actively look for signs because I always worry he won’t want to talk to me about it if he did feel low. We all need to look out for our loved ones and notice changes in their behaviours. We should all talk to each and ask how one another is doing.

Knowing I am raising a boy I want to know that he will grow up and talk about his emotions to me. I want him to know his emotions are as valid as anyone else’s and there is no need to ever man up. I want both my son and husband to always know that I am here to talk. I am always here to listen and I will never judge.

If you’re a man reading this and you have felt the stigma to not show your emotions then just know that it is okay. It is okay to cry. It’s okay to admit you may be depressed. It is okay to go the doctors to seek help. It’s okay to have medication. It’s okay to not want to go out with the lads sometimes. It’s okay to struggle and when you struggle you can and should speak about it. You can talk about it and blog just as woman do because I promise you this, you are not alone. Other men are felling the same and are also creating fabulous support groups for other men out there and blogging to show just because their a man doesn’t mean they can’t feel.

I’m hoping one day the stigma fades away as we are the generation of change it is how we raise our children that determines how the world goes on. I’m hoping for a more loving and understanding planet for all where emotions are felt without any stigma and when you can drop your mental health issues into a conversation without worrying what someone else will think I’m hoping for a planet where I see more men crying in films, where men talk as freely as women without stigma.

If you ever need someone to chat to my emails are always open.

If you are ever in crisis and need someone to talk too contact Samaritans here on- 116123 or check their website here- https://www.samaritans.org/

You can also get help and support from looking on the mind website here- https://www.mind.org.uk

Thanks for reading, Charlie x

Weighted blanket review – The kalm koala.

Weighted blanket review – The kalm koala.

Disclaimer this was gifted in exchange for review:

If you like me have seen the many, many adverts out of weighted blankets you will also of been interested into what they’re really like. I was intrigued into if they really work or if they where pretty much a money making scam. But i was offered one in exchange for a review so how could i say no. All opinions in this post are my own and honest. As with any post if i do not rate a product highly enough too talk about it i always tell the company and offer to send back and explain i won’t be reviewing it. However this is not the case with this product.

Weighted blankets are advertised to use weight to relax your central nervous system to relax you. They are advertised to help anxiety, depression and autism sensory overloads.

So first of aesthetically it is very pleasing. The cover has a warm and cool side. The quilted side you use in winter and the silk side in summer. The Silk underneath is navy so looks lovely too. I use it as a runner in the day and it fits over the both of us with our feet hanging out the ends the blanket goes from my shoulders to ankles which is good because its weighted and feet with pressures not the best combo. so perhaps socks in winter if not using another cover on top. I mainly use it however not at night but as to sit on the sofa with if i am particularly stressed or sit in the bed in it. The quilt is heavy so it really is weighted i was surprised when the post man dropped it off. I got the largest and most weighted due to my weight.

Does it relax you? It feels like a cuddle and like some pressure. Considering i hate cuddles it is quite nice to be able to have that tight compression feeling without the emotions and people involved to make a cuddle happen. (yes i cuddle my husband and son). You can really feel the weight and it feels like a weight is not only taken of your body but your mind when you take it off too. For it too work i take myself quiet or watch or read something i like to relax myself. I really do notice a difference when i use it to calm myself the added weight is quite nice and also warming too when i need the warmth. I sort of only really concentrate on the weight for a little while which enables me to calm a bit and i only use when anxious so i know it is something i can use.

I haven’t used it overnight much because it has been too hot to exist and i have been in hospital but i used it two nights and it certainly relaxed me. It felt like all of my body was being pressed down and i felt at ease. I fell asleep with it. It still took me a while to shut down but my insomnia reacts to nothing. It did however take less long to fall asleep which could be the blanket or the fact i am still poorly.

So i would recommend this blanket. Id suggest a smaller one for single use however as i got this to be a runner at the same time. This product would be excellent for those who suffer sensory overload particularly autism suffers as the pressure can calm the body without physical contact,

Thanks for reading, charlie x