One thing I’ve noticed about talking about depression is the stigma that if your depressed that means you have to be depressed 24/7. You can’t have days where you smile because clearly that would mean your faking your depression and that you’re clearly an attention seeker. This is not true.
Yes many people are in a constant loop of depression where there is no escape but some of us have days we feel okay and then crash down to the pits of depression a hour later. We can be fine all day. We can be smiling, laughing, making jokes and seem really confident. A few hours later something clicks and we can’t even move our muscles to form a smile because that’s too difficult.
We are human. Those without depression experience more than one emotion. They experience happiness, brief sadness and anxiety then they go back to happiness. So why is the stigma still there someone with depression cannot have a good day. When you put that stigma on someone it makes them think they have to fake being happy 24/7 or the opposite. The opposite is feel like they aren’t allowed to be happy. I’ve experienced this. I’ve had people make comments when I’ve had days I feel a bit better and have somewhat been told my depressions gone then! no. If my depression was gone believe me I’d be shouting from the roof tops about it.
This also works for if you have time of work with depression. A few years ago I took a few weeks of work when I worked in care because I was depressed and being bullied. When I came back to work I was treated as if I’d faked my depression as I’d came back and was even accused of not being depressed anymore because I had to pretend to be happy around my clients who picked up on negative emotions. I felt like I wasn’t entitled to smile. I wasn’t entitled to be anything other then a sad emotional mess.
People seem to get annoyed whatever you do with regards to depression. People moan when your depressed, they moan your boring or anti social, or an attention seeker. They moan if your happy. There will never be a pleasing everyone.
But know this. If you suffer depression. It is not what defines you. If you have a few days in bed down in the dumps that is okay. It is also okay to smile again. It’s okay to be happy too. You’re not an attention seeker because your chemicals in your brain have allowed you to feel positive today. You should not worry about others opinions. Why? because the only persons who’s opinions matter is your own. Because other people are not educated enough. Because until someone experiences a patch of depression themselves they will never understand what it is like to be judged for every emotion they feel!
If your reading this as someone who doesn’t have depression. Remember that they are suffering even behind the smiles. Always try to bring them up not down. Be the hand to hold, the phone all at the end of a bad day. Be a friend. Remember storms always have bright periods before the darkness creeps back for another storm.
I love using all sorts of products but I am up for trying anything new. I’ve been trying to use more soaps instead of shower gels. I have to say I’ve not always been a fan of soaps I’ve found they’re really drying but I’ve noticed since trying small business homemade products I haven’t had any irritation. I try not to use if I have a flare just incase but they have really been quite nice.
Obviously shower gels contain a lot of plastic and drying products that can irritate our skin. Also the wastage is not fab for the planet so I’ve been trying to use soap more to not only improve my skincare but also my carbon footprint.
I was kindly gifted some products from Ètre toi. These soaps have been really great for all the family to use. We where sent a zesty orange one and a grapefruit and Himalayan salt one.
Elijah likes sniffing the orange one and washing his hands with it and has had no irritation. The thing I like about these is they really foam up and go a long way. I love the freshness of the orange one which I can’t stop sniffing as it smells just like a freshly peeled orange.
The Himalayan salts in the grapefruit soap work well with the smell to give a slight exfoliation at the same time. Himalayan salts have many beauty and health benefits and are something I love to use in my baths so I’ve been using this in the bath alongside the salts I have.
There are many reasons why you should use soaps more. But one is the impact on the planet! if your interested in buying this product then check out their small business and give them some love and likes on their insta!
For all enquiries and collabs send me a message. Thanks for reading. Charlie x
It’s always exciting working with a new company and as you are very aware by now I am the candle connoisseur. I’m addicted to candles and there is something about lighting a candle at the end of the day that screams I’m done and ready to relax. I also have a strong belief that you’re not done cleaning till you’ve lit a wax melt at the end of it and all the smells in the room just wait through the house and make you feel cosy and clean again.
I was very fortunate to be offered some candles in exchange for this review. So they where kindly gifted. They have recently been featured in vogue magazine and that made me all the more excited. I used to always buy things I saw in magazines as of course they have teams that research these products meticulously. So to be highlighted in such a big magazine screams brilliant product.
First of all the items are beautiful. The packaging and the product style is simple and chic. They’re small so no massive candles floating around and can easily store away if you don’t like them on show you can out away with the screw lid.
Breathe and Be is my fav. It smells like mint which I love when I’m feeling unwell and stressed out as it’s a clearing revitalising smell. It smells so fresh and clear and you can feel your lungs opening when you sniff it. The wax burns really well and you can smell after around a minuite really strong. It is so fresh and feels like it’s opening you up as you breathe in! This is the newest candle and I adore it!
I was also sent kissed by the moon which is another fantastic smell. I think it smells like a relaxing night time candle. It smells calming and makes me feel at ease. My anxiety feels like it’s a bit more calm when I’m relaxed so hats of to this candle! It smells almost floraly but earthy at the same time.
These candles would also make the perfect gift for any candle lover aswell. if you would like to try use the discount BreatheandBe for 10 percent off.
Please do go and support this small buisness. A follow, a like, a comment, a share or purchase will make them do happy dance!
The other day I did a ten things you should know before having a child and today I wanted to do from the opposite side. The good bits. Every negative has a positive and here are ours.
One. The love. You will never feel anything like it. You will never love as fiercely and you would die for something other than yourself. You feel and run off nothing but love in the newborn stage. The toddler stages may be hard but when they cuddle you or say I love you it makes your heart melt. Even the hardest of souls are melted like me!
Two. They’re funny. Elijah thinks he’s a comedian. The silly things he does to make us laugh. The funny faces, the farts. Everything about them will make you laugh at some point. They’re just a ball of laughter and silliness.
Three. When you see they’ve learnt something from you. You feel proud of both yourself and them. You get so excited over the littlest things like rolling over or learning to count. Soon everything they do is interesting because you made that and it’s incredible watching someone learn absolutely everything.
Four. No judgement of watching kids tv and Films. Nobody can judge if your still watching a kids cartoon when they’ve left the room or for buying toys that are clearly more for you then them. Fairly sure I buy toys because I want them not him!
Five. You get to relive your youth again. You get to pretend to be animals, run around being aeroplanes and being silly. You remember things you loved as a kid and try to share that with your child. Creating memories while reliving your youth is pretty cool.
Six. You get to be crafty. You get to make arts and crafts and create play. You get your creative side out. You’ll be amazed at just how many ideas pop into your head. Even if your art looks like your two year at least you can blame it on them and class as their hard work.
Seven. Seeing your parents with their grandchild. It’s lovely watching your kid loving and being loved by grandparents. It’s nice seeing how different they are and the happiness they bring. It’s nice to see your parents have a playful side you don’t remember after the teenage stage.
Eight. Happiness. Your child will bring you happiness. When they smile at you, talk to you, do something new or just talking to you. Sometimes you just have to look at them and your happy. If you’ve had a terrible day a cuddle fixes everything.
Nine. Enjoying being a parent. Being proud to talk about them, being proud to be their parent. Enjoying that this is your life now. Although there are days you want to rip your hair out there are some rare days where you feel really great and like your killing this parent game! Days when you feel achievement because you survived another day and your kid did too!
Ten. Seeing a loved one with their child. Nothing will ever describe that fullness I get in my heart when Elijah and James play together or do something together. When they smile and cuddle. When I first saw James hold Elijah I think my heart wanted to explode out my chest I was so full. This love is like nothing I could ever explain.
So this is a bit of a hard topic to talk about. As you know I am always talking about my mental health in the hope that others feel somewhat more normal in their feelings. I’ve never really divulged into the extremes my depression takes me too sometimes and perhaps it’s out of judgement, perhaps it’s the fear that I don’t want to accept I’ve ever reached that stage but I guess it’s more I’ve had a few of my friends come to me recently saying they feel the same. They also feel like they want to die at times.
Lockdown has obviously been crap for mental health. There’s been no upside in relation to mental health or physical health to me personally and it’s really taken it’s toll on me. Many others have felt the same. Without any real interaction other then via phones it’s really hard to communicate how we feel through a text. My counselling has been cancelled with no light at the end of the tunnel, no communication and no online sessions. I would normally take Elijah out daily and we’d see friends at-least 3/4 days of the week to get out and about . Now we are all stuck in with no communication. There is just no ability to feel better and being stuck at home means I’m stuck with my feelings. Many, many others are in the same position.
I have many times in my life become engulfed by my depression. Where I wouldn’t want to wake up in the morning, where I would rather die then start the day again. I wanted to die. I thought about how quick and easy it would be. I never wanted to kill myself. I never wanted to do anything about those thoughts but I did feel the world would be better of without me. I wanted to stop the pain. I wanted to stop the dark clouds that engulfed every moment of my life. It was hard. The only thing that kept me going was the thought of leaving my husband and son behind. I sort of became a human on autopilot not really thinking and doing things such as cooking and cleaning away and talking but not really being present to experience it. My body was here but I wasn’t. I was watching over unable to feel.
I hit a point I couldn’t take it anymore and had a breakdown. I found having a breakdown and ugly crying helped. Talking about my feelings to my husband is what was the breakthrough. Getting the words out, getting the feelings out was what I needed. The hurt, the pain and my feelings all in the air and I felt heart and safer. I spoke to my gp and my anti depressants fiddled around with again.
It is so important to speak when you have these thoughts. To tell your loved ones and get the thoughts and pressure off your head. It is okay to feel this way and while it’s not normal you can talk about how you feel. You are loved, somebody will always care about you and there is always someone you can talk too even if you don’t know them.
If you feel this way always speak about it. The people you speak to won’t judge. You can always call 111, the Samaritans and many other charity’s. You can call your friends, family, doctors or even just look online about your feelings. The storm will pass. You will breath again and feel better one day, it may not be today, tomorrow or next week but the calm will come. You will not be judged for having these thoughts. You will not be sectioned or anything like that for the thoughts. Feeling like you want to die is different to being suicidal and taking steps into it or planning it. If you ever get to a stage you are making plans it is time to take yourself to a hospital or talk to anyone who’ll listen.
The more you talk the more it lifts. The more better you feel. The more that heavy ness melts away with our tears. We get into our heads that everyone will judge us and that it’s not okay. Like we can’t have these thoughts. As parents we can’t have these thoughts because we’ll we’re parents. We apparently can’t ever have feelings of being down and can only ever be happy. This is not true. Anyone can experience depression. It doesn’t make you weaker, it doesn’t make you crazy it just means you feel so deeply that sometimes you can’t get out of those feelings. You’re not an attention seeker. You’re loved. You’re wanted, you’re existence matters and the world would be a shittier place with out you in it. Yes we can’t stop the worlds current situation, we can’t stop the bad news, the hurt and life events. But we can talk about it. We can process it and we can fight another day.
So the lovely people at photo wall got in touch and offered to send us some gifted wall paper to review. as we’d been planning to redecorate our room since we first moved in we jumped at the chance.
We immediately looked at what they had and had to make the hard decision on what to choose. There was so many beautiful prints and styles and I was so close to ordering a animal mural for Elijah but you know what I deserve nice things too! Ordering was super easy and we out the measurements in. Within a few days it arrived.
It arrived with instructions, paste and the wallpaper. You could tell the quality just from opening it. We went for the top range so no reflection at day time as our bedroom is very light.
Now the wallpaper had arrived we contacted someone to come do our wallpaper the following weekend as covid guidelines allow it now and we got to work. Our bedroom was a state. The previous owners had rushed about and made a mess. Gouges in walls, dodgy filling, a whole in the wall and paint here there and everywhere. It took us four nights to paint the walls, ceilings and fill holes. We took of the clothing rails and filled and painted them too. We glossed everything we could and even touched up the door and window sills. I painted the inside of the fire box and it looked so much better.
Then came the wallpaper day! The guy came as we didn’t trust our selfs and got to work. He said it was super easy as it was clearly labelled and informed him wear to cut. He was able to line and match up the wallpaper easy. He said it was easy then the other wall paper we got for the chimney breast. When he was done we where amazed at how it looked.
Immediately it became the smartest room in the house. It was like our very own art work. Something different to any one we know. The flowers and birds are beautiful and like nothing I have ever seen before. I enjoy looking at it and thinking wow this is our room! I love birds and cherry blossoms so I’m so glad I picked this. It goes with bedding and my bedroom already so no need to change the room over either which is always a plus!
The only downside was we over measured and had to cut the birds tales of because of the door way and the fact we run out of space but I’m super glad the faces of the birds look like they’re peaking in and they’re all there.
I’m so thankfull and my house feels a bit more like a home. It’s my personality, my happy place my safe space!
Massive Thank-you to photo wall for gifting is this beautiful wallpaper. I will cherish it forever!
Disclaimer : I am writing this from a more comical side then serious side. I don’t hate my child by posting these facts. These are things I believe that everyone should know before planning a child. Why? Because having a child is not all sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes it’s poo and tantrums galore.
So to kick this of I am Charlie-Jane. I’m 25 we planned and tried for a baby at 22 and Elijah was born whilst I was 22. Elijah is now 2 and a half and sometimes I think he might be slightly possessed with his temper at times. Clearly doesn’t have my temper because I’m of course a angel. Ok perhaps not a angel but not someone who thinks rolling on the floor will in fact allow me to have cake for breakfast. Anyway these are some of the things I wish I new before I had a child. So I could of mentally prepared.
Number one: There is less we time and me time. Your days become worshipping little evil spawn. Instead of having a zen bath or going for a date with your loved one your life revolves around being a snack bitch or cleaning the path of destruction that your child’s created. You find conversations normally revert back to your child and your so drained from parenting you really can’t be bothered to do anything. Enjoying peace and quiet is a thing of the past and conversations always interrupted.
Number two: You will only ever hear children’s tv show songs in your head. Inside my head is a collection of blippi, andys adventures, waffle doggy and mr tumbles greatest. You will get really into kids tv. You find yourself sticking a episode of hey duggee on and having a laugh and then realising your child’s having a nap. You start conversations with talking about the latest kids tv series you watched not the latest show on Netflix. You find yourself wondering how does Justin have so much time to dress up as all these characters and I haven’t even washed my face this morning???
Number three:You will never have a relaxing meal or drink again. Infact you’ll make a cup of tea and your child will distract you so much that your tea is ice cold and your full of disappointment. Eating your dinner peacefully? Forget about it! Your child wants to throw food at you, eat your food or get down. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve had a drink hurdled into my meal or my child ran of with my last sausage or smushed his food into the walls and across the floor. Eating at a restaurant becomes stressfull keeping you child entertained and on their best behaviour and sometimes you’d rather not eat out with them atal!
Number four: You will never have privacy. Your child comes everywhere with you. Staring, watching, planning their next attack! If you need a poo? Well child is coming too and going to throw a giant stegosaurus at your face. Trying to talk on the phone? Child decides all of the sudden they want to sing at the top of their voice! Just minding your own business shopping when your child decides nows the time to lift your top down and show everyone your boobies! Note to self, always wear a bra after the Morrison’s incident.
Number five: Kids are expensive. Always growing like some hyped up sunflower! One minuite they’re tiny and the next they’re twenty feet giants that weigh 77 tons. You go through clothes quicker then you can buy them and that expensive toy you brought well it’s been five minuites and it’s trash to them now. There’s always some new thing they’re into and new toys to buy. You’ll be really glad when you spend loads of money on something and they don’t care about it atall.
Number six: You’re always tired. Of course the sleep steeler cry’s all night or apparently like my child sings Elton johns can you feel the love tonight at 3 am like that’s the norm. Of course I want to be awoken to Elton John mate thanks! Your days start before the sun and yeah that coffees going cold so there is no help with the fatigue. Your running round all day playing and cleaning and your so stressed you don’t know how to function. Your mind is tired, your body is tired, you don’t know what day it is anymore. 9 months was not enough time to catch up on rest like they tell you!
Number seven: Your child will have a meltdown over ANYTHING. They picked up the wrong toy, you don’t have doughnuts in the house, you won’t let them lick a trolley while out shopping. ANYTHING. There is no reasoning with them either, everything is a complete battle at times. Want to get your child to put their shoes on? Cue half hour screaming meltdown on the floor wiggling around like a worm that’s been cut in half. Oh and yes they’ll be plenty in public and yes it’s humiliating!
Number eight: Say goodbye to your freedom. Want to go to the shops? Better pack a suitcase and load the car and pram and pack snacks and three changes of clothes and my life’s ambitions. Want to go on a romantic date? CHILDCARE!!! There’s no more dates without someone to watch your child. Want to go for a walk alone to calm down? Well you can’t! Want to wake up when you want and go to sleep when you want? You can’t! Want to go to a fancy restaurant? Well I’m sure there is no baby change or high chair facilities! Trip to the cinema forget about it! long walk? Lug a baby or buggy around or just bin it off and forget about it!
Number nine: Your body will change. You will put on weight everywhere, your face will change shape, your hips, arms, feet, hands and everywhere else! Your stomach may sag and you’ll have horrid squiggly lines scatted over your tummy. Your hair will fall out in clumps and you’ll block your hoover and drain almost daily. Your skin will get spotty or dry and itchy. Illnesses you never knew you had will come out of the pipework. You will get tired more often and if you need to sneeze or want to laugh?There is gonna be A lot of wee accidents. Wrinkles and bags under your eyes will be your latest accessories in your beauty quest.
Number 10: Your life will become filled with poo and sick. Yes you will have poo explosions where the watery poo reaches their hair. You will have the potty training poo in the pants. Your child will take their poo out their nappy and smear it all over their bedding, walls and cot because why not? It’s clearly scented paint! your child will throw up in your mouth at least once and my god a sickness bug makes you want to leave the city. So prepare for being covered, your child being covered, your house being covered and you’ll contemplate whether it’s easier to burn the house down sometimes then clean a smeared poo explosion.
Of course I love my child and I love my life now he’s in it but boy is a bit of a prick at times. Hope you had a laugh! Charlie x
The people over at hooray heroes kindly gifted me a book for Father’s Day to show my followers and readers what I think about it. I’ve been eyeing up their books after seeing many ads so I was very excited to be gifted one!
So first of all you choose the book you want. Then you design your characters. This is the fun part! You can choose hair style, colour, freckles, skin tone, eye colour and more! You can put your names in as well so it makes it super personal to you. It’s really nice knowing that something your helping to create will be in a book. Especially if you have a hard to find name in a gift store this is the perfect personalised gift for you.
I love that you can also choose what stories go inside you can preview and select up to ten mini stories to go in the book too.
Once you’ve ordered it only takes a few days to come I think I waited five days and I was alerted when each step of the creation process was completed and a time my parcel would be delivered.
When it arrived it was in a nice cellophane wrapping to preven damage. The book is hardback and the quality is amazing. Each page is full of colour and keeps your child’s attention. This was a gift to the whole family really which was nice because we all get to share it.
It’s something that will last for years and we love all the stories, you can read as little or as much as you like!
We will defo keep them in mind for our next personalised book adventure!
With Father’s Day coming up now is the perfect time to get idea and this is the perfect book for lots of family’s!
When I am stressed I have a flare. I get spots, my face goes redder them a baboons backside and my face burns. It burns so much I want to scratch it off. I have at times if my life even contemplated suicide because it has hurt that much. So I am very, very lucky my dermatologist found the creams that work with me. I use it every now and then when I have a flare. As LOTS of you have been emailing and messaging me on Instagram about what I use I thought I’ll just do a little post on it here.
Obviously these are not over the counter medications but you could request your doctor try’s you on them. You can however buy a low dose of azaliac acid by the ordinary and that’s quite good too. Not as strong but it is good. So without further rambling here’s some products I use and have helped me.
First up. Soolantra aka Ivermectin. This cream is prescribed and is hardcore stuff. With rosacea you are more prone to being exposed to sunlight, food, cold, stress, skin notes and lots more. This cream is prescribed to help stop the inflammation caused by rosacea. It helps treat and heal skin lesions and helps reduce the spots that come with it. It also cures facial mites and scabies. This is basically like a anti inflammatory magic cure for your face. When I first took it I had a swollen nose that wouldn’t go and a face littered with spots after 6 weeks I was cleared up. It then returned with spots and wide spread redness but my nose has never looked anything near as bad as it was. When you have a flare they suggest using a few times a week for 6 weeks as it’s strong stuff. This is my wonder cure. It stops the burning. I feel like me again.
Next we have skinoren- azeliac acid. This can be used alongside. This kills bacteria and helps acne. You can buy a low dosage version as I stated above. As my rosacea causes acne it helps with my confidence of not only redness but full on adult acne at the same time. This stuff really does work and again you use a few times a week for a few weeks then have a break then use with a flare.
You should only use these medicines as and when. Why? Because your skin needs to heal and work our what time do with itself. You also want breaks between medicines and for your skin not to get used to the medication.
These medications worked for me and I hope if your doctor can be persuaded to let you try that they may work for you.
I’m back on them again now so will show a before and after. If you are using this it is important to have a full skincare session.
I cleanse, exfoliate and tone regularly. I also apply moisturising serums twice daily and also apply a thick night cream because these medicines will dry your skin out. Make sure to wash your face twice a day and treat your skin like it deserves.
Also ALWAYS where high spf sunscreen. I don’t care if it’s snowing outside your skin will burn and you need to protect yourself from the uv damage to your skin.
Good luck, any questions send me a message! Charlie x
So it’s no secret I have insomnia and basically lack any ability to relax some days so when I received a space mask in a recent beauty subscription box I was quite excited to try a new product. Of course it’s been raced about by a few celebs who I like so if course I was excited to give it a whirl so here’s my opinion.
First of all packagings quite nice this was a valentines special edition which is why it’s red. There’s nothing fancy but the colour so it’s quite plain but that’s not what the products about.
So what it does is heat when opened up so it creates a nice warm feeling on your eyelids which makes your eyes feel light and you relaxed. I’d say it worked for about half an hour staying warm and then cooled down. I quite enjoyed it as I haven’t experienced anything similar unless I’ve had a hot flannel on my eyes. My eyes felt lighter and I felt the tension leave that part of me and it did enable some relaxation. My eyes didn’t feel as puffy either and although there was no direct oils or products on me I did feel almost like my eyes where in a bit better condition. It enable relaxation after a while and my mind sort of went away at times.
Unfortunately I think I was too anxious that night so I took a while to relax and I didn’t notice no change on my sleep. I will be trying it again after a nice relaxing skincare session and getting myself calm first to see if it really works. I’m also going to buy a cheeper Version on amazon to try too. Will update you on that too!