10 signs you might be depressed.

10 signs you might be depressed.

Sometimes when you’re depressed you can’t even notice the signs. A lot of people just think of depression as sadness but also as just a emotion that passes. This is why I put together some small signs I have presented which you may recognise in yourself that indicate when I am feeling depressed.

One- You struggle to find motivation in household chores. You can’t find the energy to make the bed, chores such as washing up are exhausting and you put of jobs as long as possible. Your house gets more messy as your mood drops.

Two- Your personal hygiene may fail you. You may find having a bath or shower the absolutely last thing you want to do. You may say tomorrow to having a wash. You may go a long time without washing or brushing your hair. You may stop washing your face because you lack the motivation to do it. You may wear the same clothes for days because they’re comfy and you can’t be bothered to change them.

Three-You loose interest in things. Watching tv becomes boring and draining. You don’t enjoy reading, texting, or anything else you normally would enjoy. You get overwhelmed forcing yourself to do things you normally enjoy.

Four-You loose focus. You’re unable to take in information. Unable to concentrate on conversations. Your mind wonders and you don’t follow what’s said.

Five-You’re easily confused. You are unable to remember things at times and situations confuse you. Sometimes following simple instructions is confusing as you are unable to concentrate on the task at hand.

Six-Your easily upset. Other people upset you easily. You find offence in a lot of situations and you don’t know why. You randomly cry sometimes for no reason.

Seven-You could struggle to sleep or sleep too much. Choosing to sleep in instead of getting up and ready. You also may be wide awake all night.

Eight-Finding negatives in every situation. Thinking you will fail or things will go wrong for you all the time. Loosing hope in the future.

Nine-You may also suffer from anxiety which you didn’t suffer with before. You may become worried constantly. Anxiety normally comes hand in hand with depression.

Ten-You think what is the point of life. You question why your here. If it would make a difference if you where gone. You may feel you’ve become hopeless thinking about your death and existence.

If you are feeling like some of these things I’ve listed you may need to contact your gp and get some advice and help. You may also want to talk to someone about your feelings. If you are thy inking about death it is very important to speak out now and seek the help you need. You can find help with mind.org or calling the Samaritans on 116 123 at any time of the day or night. My emails are always open too.

Thanks for reading, Charlie x

Mens mental health is as important as a womens.

Mens mental health is as important as a womens.

When mental health is spoken about sadly I see a lot of women speaking about it more then men. Why? Because sometimes they can be more comfortable talking about it. It doesn’t mean men don’t have mental health issues but they are a victim of sexism in the form of being told to man up. Which is only more damaging to someone already not in the best of places. A woman may get a lot of sexism in the way people can say it’s hormones or women are just sensitive. Yet men are stigmatised thinking their genetic make up means no sadness is allowed to be felt.How often have you watched a film and seen a man cry? I don’t think I ever have. Yet I see so many films and tv series when woman cry all the time.

One person dies of suicide every 40 seconds. Now we know that did you know that more men commit suicide then women?

With media and social pressures to be a manly man there is no real help out there aimed at men sometimes. Counselling is normally advertised as women with girly fonts and colours. If a man was also to say he was going to counselling it would be more judged then a woman saying it. We need to normalise crying, emotions and allow our men and boys to feel as deeply as they can without feeling judged.

With facts like this it’s hard to ignore that men need the care and love women do. Why is it we have so many people that go around spreading love for the women and for women’s mental health but not for men. Men are barely ever spoken about. The issue is simply men have always been seen as in charge. This is a generational thing as long as history goes where men have been seen as the ones who have to have it all together. To support others and to never complain. But we don’t live in the fifties anymore. We live in generations where the burden shouldn’t be on the men as much as if we can learn from everything else that’s gone wrong in the world, we can learn to respect one another’s sex and support them and their emotions as equals.

I always regularly ask my husband if he’s okay or if he’s too stressed. I ask him to be honest with me and when I can see signs he’s stressed I try my best to allow him to talk about it or get rid of those emotions the best he can. Whether it be playing video games all night or perhaps we sit and watch a film together with our phones off. Or we go out for a long walk as a family or he even goes out with his friends for a drink. I try to actively look for signs because I always worry he won’t want to talk to me about it if he did feel low. We all need to look out for our loved ones and notice changes in their behaviours. We should all talk to each and ask how one another is doing.

Knowing I am raising a boy I want to know that he will grow up and talk about his emotions to me. I want him to know his emotions are as valid as anyone else’s and there is no need to ever man up. I want both my son and husband to always know that I am here to talk. I am always here to listen and I will never judge.

If you’re a man reading this and you have felt the stigma to not show your emotions then just know that it is okay. It is okay to cry. It’s okay to admit you may be depressed. It is okay to go the doctors to seek help. It’s okay to have medication. It’s okay to not want to go out with the lads sometimes. It’s okay to struggle and when you struggle you can and should speak about it. You can talk about it and blog just as woman do because I promise you this, you are not alone. Other men are felling the same and are also creating fabulous support groups for other men out there and blogging to show just because their a man doesn’t mean they can’t feel.

I’m hoping one day the stigma fades away as we are the generation of change it is how we raise our children that determines how the world goes on. I’m hoping for a more loving and understanding planet for all where emotions are felt without any stigma and when you can drop your mental health issues into a conversation without worrying what someone else will think I’m hoping for a planet where I see more men crying in films, where men talk as freely as women without stigma.

If you ever need someone to chat to my emails are always open.

If you are ever in crisis and need someone to talk too contact Samaritans here on- 116123 or check their website here- https://www.samaritans.org/

You can also get help and support from looking on the mind website here- https://www.mind.org.uk

Thanks for reading, Charlie x

The government needs to help to support our eating habits encouraging healthy eating instead of restricting us.

The government needs to help to support our eating habits encouraging healthy eating instead of restricting us.

Me again and a subject I thought I would never be speaking about. Healthy eating. I’ve struggled for years with my weight. Being younger I always thought I was fat when I was skinny and now I see myself as fat because well I have finally became it from years of unhealthy eating.

Why have I eaten unhealthy? Well when I was a teenager at 18 I got a job as a carer. I had to take my own food in and it had to be made quickly so it would be takeaways and unhealthy snacks as and when I could. As a carer you don’t get time to prepare a nutritious meal and it became habit to have takeaways most nights. Some sort of canned meal or microwave meal became my life for ease and also because of exhaustion from my working patterns . My mental health made me not want to eat most days so ordered terrible food I enjoyed in a bid to cheer myself up. It never worked.

The issue was also that it’s normally cheeper on my pathetic pay packet I got to order a takeaway or get a frozen pizza then get all the bits to create nutritious and filling meals. When you basically live at work it’s hard to want to spend your personal time meal planning and batch cooking too.

It’s a shame because I can cook. I used to love to cook. I also took courses in nutrition and cooking for work but it’s sort of came to a point I’ve aqquired a taste for unhealthy meals. Why change what you love.

Frankly I eat my feelings and since having Elijah I’ve really struggled to loose weight. Although I mostly eat healthy I have quite a few treats which cause the struggle with weightloss. However hard I try I can’t stick to a diet. Why because I struggle with restrictions. I always want what I can’t have. If the general public can’t be told no in a pandemic I doubt they’ll eat healthier because of the governments and rebel against that too. I’ve also felt there’s no support. My husband would offer to diet with me. But my husband works of a lot of calories and eats healthy so I wouldn’t want him to be underweight at the cost of me.

Putting calories on a box is great but who actually reads these things? yes the calories may be high but you kind of guess that when ordering a pizza. This is also a negative because those with eating disorders may not eat treats as much or fixate even harder or calorie counting.

We need support in perhaps advise sheets advising how we can incorporate healthy food more and remove some of the junk from our diet in a way we can have full informed choice. We also need more support for gyms exetra. Why can’t we do a 10 pound of a month scheme from the government where they help fund gyms and perhaps swimming vouchers too. The cost of memberships and days out puts people off straight away. Whilst I’ve used some pretty expensive gyms in the past I’ve always thought they where a little on the pricey side and thought about whether I can afford it. Money of schemes would mean more money spent on gyms and more gyms opening up and more people loosing weight and being healthy which is only a mega plus for the government, economy and the nhs.

There needs to be more support for low income families too. it can be expensive to resource all of the items in a food shop which equates too a nutritious diet for a family. Especially now in uncertain times with the covid situation putting jobs at risk and people unable to provide and looking to the government for help. Could there not perhaps be a discounted price on healthy items instead of just unhealthy items.

The government needs to provide support and offer more advice to those who cannot access their resources. There needs to be more support and understanding of eating disorders too. Such as those who eat their feelings and those who connect feelings to food. We shouldn’t ban unhealthy foods because we deserve treats but we need the advice and resources on how to enjoy in moderation and how to maintain a healthy lifestyle when you dislike vegetables exetra. I know the foods I can pick to be healthy but I don’t enjoy them. And whilst I’m starting my diet on Monday I wish I knew how I could treat myself without getting addicted to going overboard. I wish I had the support to know why I eat my feelings and perhaps have that support from the government with not only my eating choices but the mental health issues that cause me to eat badly and he unable to substation a healthy life too.

I know I’m shouting to the wind but this is just my opinion. I feel shunning unhealthy living is not enough when shame never helps anyone. It is support that helps us through.

I will be starting my diet Monday and eating what I can which I enjoy to be healthy but I know I will never know when enough is enough, how much of a treat I can have without putting on more weight. Because believe me I’m not going to only eat 5 magic stars on a cinema trip and I’m also not going to munch on a banana.

Thanks for reading. Charlie x

Chewy moon review.

Chewy moon review.

Disclaimer- Ad-products gifted for this review.

Elijah is a mega snack lover and we find it so hard to find new things for him to try when chewy moon offered some samples we leaped at the chance. We where sent a large selection (you can see each name on the photo with the product names on) to try and see if Elijah liked them. These are quite similar to a few high street brands but i think the quality is so much more than normal snack companys ive tried from local supermarket trips. The chewy moon packaging looks fantastic. I love all the Animal prints that remind me a bit of the design of a totem poll. If these where prints they’d be something i would seriously think of having in my sons bedroom as a theme. I like all the colour usage and there isnt a specific wrapping for a product so its like a lucky dip.

The products are healthy and packed full of good stuff the sugars are more natural then tons of produced foods. This means your child gets lots of minerals and nutrients while snacking. As a mum i always worry about whether Elijah is getting enough healthy food into his diet. I think i always will which is why i like that with these products there is a nutritional leaflet too! You can see whats inside and decide what to give your child.

There where a few dry fruit packets which Elijah loves. Anything remotely healthy for Elijah is a win for me. Luckily he has always liked healthy snacks as much as naughty ones. So far his favourite is the strawberry hearts he enjoyed taking his time to eat them too and the fact they looked like a tiny strawberry in the shape of a heart, The small size meant he didn’t need to scoff his face. He also really enjoyed the honey biscuits too and even i partake in a little snack they where quite sweet and tasty .

The size portions are enough for your child and perfect for on the go it means you can pack in your bag without taking up to much room and pack more that one and offer choice. We still have a few to try but so far we have tried almost all of them and Elijah has liked each and every single one.

You can check out chewy moon here – https://chewymoon.com/

Or check their insta here-https://www.instagram.com/chewymoonbox/

Thanks for reading! charlie x

Strawberry picking 🍓

Strawberry picking  🍓

Being a somewhat dry day in suffolk we decided to go strawberry picking before the heavens opened on our way home. What is strawberry picking? Well the answer is basically in the name itself. You basically pick strawberries and get to take them home. The good thing about strawberry picking is you get to choose your own fruit so you can be sure you get the best quality strawberries. At this farm you could also pick blackcurrants, redcurrants and blackberries.

So safety wise its quite a safe activity to do at the moment all you do is pick your own basket and then you have a whole farm to social distance. It was very easy to keep away from others. When we needed to pay we just went into shop and paid. I also brought some fresh fruit and veg and other little bits from the farms shop. There is something about things that don’t come prepacked in plastic that gives a much better taste and experience.

Elijah is just over two and a half so i was a bit worried he wouldn’t enjoy it. I couldn’t of been more wrong. When we got to the strawberry field and told him what we where going to do he told us he was “excited” and launched himself towards the giant strawberry on the farm. He enjoyed picking a basket and running around. As we where on a farm he was interested in the vehicles on the farm. He liked looking at the tractor and asked for a photo in front of some big yellow digger. We then went to pick the fruit he was excited when he could spot the strawberries. He picked his favourites at first he grabbed as many as he could see then we explained we needed to look for the reddest ones and he got very particular on his choice. He enjoyed running around and picking the strawberries too he did eat quite a few despite us explaining we had to pay first eventually stopped scoffing them down. (we told the shop hes eaten about 6 and they didn’t care).

Overall it was quite a fun family experience we all enjoyed selecting what we like the look of and knowing it was ours to eat. It felt quite nice completly picking our food completly fresh. The strawberries taste amazing and we have plenty to last. We will defo be going again! Hopefully before it’s time to go pumpkin picking!

Thanks for reading, charlie x

Get to know me

Get to know me

So i thought id pop on to write a little bit about myself due to my increased readers recently. First of all thank you for taking the time to read my blog posts. I cannot express how much it means to me that anyone reads my blog. My blog is my online journal basically and i guess you guys, my readers are already in my brain but i thought maybe people would want to know a bit more about the persons whos head your in. So without further adue lets get to know me.

So hello, My name is Charlie-Jane and i am 25 years old. I come from a small town in Suffolk in the united kingdom. Where i come from im quite lucky. I live in a town with quite a few shops and regular public transport that can get you wherever you need too. There is lots of countryside and beaches near me so i am spoilt for naturals beauty. I love going on long walks and taking photos, some would say photography is a bit of a hobby of mine. You’ll always catch me taking a photo of something and my camera often comes everywhere with me. I also love eating out and enjoy eating in restaurants and getting coffee with my friends. I love spending hours in a bookshop choosing a handful of books and getting lost running my fingers along the stacks and peeping a read of the blurb before eventually walking to the counter with my heavy stack. I love unwinding at home with a good book. I love reading and getting lost and escaping the world for a little bit. I love a bit of everything to be honest and i couldn’t put my finger on a single book genre i love more than another. I will admit though i’m more partial to being lost in another world then this world at times.

I also enjoy watching films. We love trips to the cinema and always have. I used to have cinema card and would go at least 3 times a month to the cinema. I would normally get a tango ice blast, a baskin and robins and escape to a film. At home i am an avid fan of watching new things and watch Netflix, prime, now tv and more all the time. My favourite series of all time is greys anatomy. I will re watch it at least once a year. I will also sob like a baby every time.

I love skincare and make up. I suffer with rosacea so i am very fixated on managing my skincare and beauty regime. I love shopping trips to boots and love reading in magazines and looking at instagrams recommendations. I love nothing more than having a full on pamper session. Nothing beats a full cleanse and a full body moisturising sesh. I love trying new make up.I love trying new things i wouldn’t normally try. I love finding something that works for me and i love when i get to go out somewhere nice for the day and put some make up on. I love being able to hide my redness and breakouts and feeling pretty for a few hours.

i enjoy trying to cook new things. I don’t enjoy cooking but i do enjoy trying something new and being creative in the kitchen. When i am super stressed i bake a lot of unhealthy but tasty treats. Some weekends i make pancakes when i am in a good mood and its the perfect way to start my day. My favourite food is chicken and leek bake. No idea why! My favourite drink is a starbucks chocolate chip frappe with caramel. My favourite sweet treat is chocolate, It has to be dairy milk always!

I used to work as a volunteer teaching assistant, i then worked as a support worker for people who suffered with learning disabilities and difficulties, i also worked with youth offenders and asylum seekers. I then worked in endoscopy for a few years before deciding to become a stay at home mum. I’ve learned so much in my past careers but i am happiest being a stay at home mum.

I met my husband just over 6 years ago. We dated a few months and then made things official. With James everything felt like i was in some sort of a movie. We have been like magnets since we first started dating i think when its real love you can’t describe it, you just feel full and happy. Pure happiness. We moved out together after about 5 months and then we got engaged after 2 years. We planned to start trying for a baby and brought our first house. We fell pregnant with elijah at 22 and we love being parents. We work together as parents and spending time as a family.

i suffer with numerous mental and physical health issues which can be very debilitating. I try to not filter these parts of me out because i want to be honest. I want others to know they are not alone in their struggles. Since becoming a mum it is even harder to ignore my emotions now. I want Elijah to grow up and know that its okay to talk about mental health issues. I also try to be honest about parenting because i myself get upset reading people only talking about the best parts of parenting at times. I want to lead by example to other parents that its okay to struggle and to talk about our emotions. It doesn’t make us bad parents.

I’m scared of death and the dark which is silly i know. Flying things freak me out as well as anything that slithers. I love autumn and hate the summer. I spend the whole time a sweaty self conscious mess. I love the rain and dancing around my kitchen to garage music or indie music from my youth. I love watching films that make me ugly cry. I have a late night snack every night even if i am not hungry and i have become a creature of habit. I want to cry when there is no chocolate in the house. I used to dream of being a mp and changing the world but knew i would never have a chance. I also wanted to be a comedian in high school and look at how that went. I always wanted to be a wife and mother and i completed those goals. I always thought id learn to be a odp and stay in healthcare but i guess my ambitions changed after having Elijah. I don’t think i ever wanted to admit it but i guess it just sort of happened.

Anyway i guess that’s me, In all my boring glory. I’m always up for making new friends so as always my dms are open. Thank you for reading my drool, charlie.

Petit fernand

Petit fernand

Contains gifted items for review.

I was sent some lovely bits from from Petit Fernand the other day and I have to say I adore them. They where so easy to create and the quality is so high. There are so many products to choose from but I chose a drawstring bag for Elijahs toys and a water bottle. I’ll talk you through the personalisation now!

So first of all you choose what you want. Then you can choose a pattern from lots of choices. You then can customise font and colour. You can have what you want written on there too. I decided to go with Elijahs name on the bottle and Elijah’s little bag of wonder for his toy bag. Elijah helped choose which patterns and products he wanted. He’s dinosaur mad and animal mad so he chose what he wanted and helped me choose the colour text he wanted on his bottle and the text font. Once that was done it was a very short wait for the parcel.

The parcel arrived well packaged and even came with some stickers which was a plus! The bottle and bag carefully wrapped well. The box was quite nice too! Elijah enjoyed opening the box and exploring what was inside.

The bag fits all his super heroes in which is about 8 large ones or can be packed full of other toys, clothes or whatever you want to put in. It’s really high quality and I know it’ll last a long while. This bag is handy for taking to grandparents houses for play dates too! Aswell as being aesthetically pleasing!

The water bottle stays warm for 12 hours or cold for 24 hours which is fantastic aswell as being very cute from the design. Elijah is dinosaur mad so adores it! I love the tin design it feels a bit more luxury too! I can tell the bottle will last a long time too just because of the quality of it. It’s easy to drink from too.

We’re really happy with the products we where sent and we will defo consider getting a lunch box from them and their name tags closer to when Elijah goes to nursery! Go check them out!

Instagram-https://instagram.com/petit_fernand_uk?igshid=wzuzdg0ewe3t

Shop- https://www.petit-fernand.co.uk

Thanks for reading! Charlie x

Mud&Bloom Box. The perfect monthly activity box for little green fingers.

Mud&Bloom Box. The perfect monthly activity box for little green fingers.

Disclaimer: We where gifted this box in exchange for a review.

We recently have started gardening a little bit more now that it’s the summer and plants are growing a bit quicker. So when mud & bloom contacted us and wanted to send a box to review we where eager to try something new.

I think learning about how things grow and teaching your child the responsibility of looking after their plant is such a important life lesson. Elijah loves getting involved with crafts but then no longer wants to help. So this has been good to teach him things don’t last five minutes and we have to keep working hard to see anything grow.

So what we got inside: we got some seed packets, activity sheets, lolly pop sticks to label plants and we got some stickers for making elderflower cordial. We also got the dirt to grow the plants. They also kindly sent some chalk to draw outdoors.

Elijah enjoyed putting the dirt in the water to expand and then helping to plant and cover the seeds. Every day we got to water his plants and we’ve moved them to bigger pots. Soon we will be putting them into the ground. Elijah loves commenting on how big they are everyday too as we have breakfast looking at them!

Elijah has liked the responsibility and learning about looking after things and being gentle. I’m so thankful we got this box as it’s really shown me just how into gardening toddlers can be and it’ll be something we stick too! It’s given me more incentive to get him to help more in the garden too!

If your interested in subscribing to their boxes check out – http://www.mudandbloom.com

Thanks for reading, Charlie x

10 reasons why you should have a child.

10 reasons why you should have a child.

The other day I did a ten things you should know before having a child and today I wanted to do from the opposite side. The good bits. Every negative has a positive and here are ours.

One. The love. You will never feel anything like it. You will never love as fiercely and you would die for something other than yourself. You feel and run off nothing but love in the newborn stage. The toddler stages may be hard but when they cuddle you or say I love you it makes your heart melt. Even the hardest of souls are melted like me!

Two. They’re funny. Elijah thinks he’s a comedian. The silly things he does to make us laugh. The funny faces, the farts. Everything about them will make you laugh at some point. They’re just a ball of laughter and silliness.

Three. When you see they’ve learnt something from you. You feel proud of both yourself and them. You get so excited over the littlest things like rolling over or learning to count. Soon everything they do is interesting because you made that and it’s incredible watching someone learn absolutely everything.

Four. No judgement of watching kids tv and Films. Nobody can judge if your still watching a kids cartoon when they’ve left the room or for buying toys that are clearly more for you then them. Fairly sure I buy toys because I want them not him!

Five. You get to relive your youth again. You get to pretend to be animals, run around being aeroplanes and being silly. You remember things you loved as a kid and try to share that with your child. Creating memories while reliving your youth is pretty cool.

Six. You get to be crafty. You get to make arts and crafts and create play. You get your creative side out. You’ll be amazed at just how many ideas pop into your head. Even if your art looks like your two year at least you can blame it on them and class as their hard work.

Seven. Seeing your parents with their grandchild. It’s lovely watching your kid loving and being loved by grandparents. It’s nice seeing how different they are and the happiness they bring. It’s nice to see your parents have a playful side you don’t remember after the teenage stage.

Eight. Happiness. Your child will bring you happiness. When they smile at you, talk to you, do something new or just talking to you. Sometimes you just have to look at them and your happy. If you’ve had a terrible day a cuddle fixes everything.

Nine. Enjoying being a parent. Being proud to talk about them, being proud to be their parent. Enjoying that this is your life now. Although there are days you want to rip your hair out there are some rare days where you feel really great and like your killing this parent game! Days when you feel achievement because you survived another day and your kid did too!

Ten. Seeing a loved one with their child. Nothing will ever describe that fullness I get in my heart when Elijah and James play together or do something together. When they smile and cuddle. When I first saw James hold Elijah I think my heart wanted to explode out my chest I was so full. This love is like nothing I could ever explain.

As always thanks for reading, Charlie x

It is okay to talk about dark thoughts.

It is okay to talk about dark thoughts.

So this is a bit of a hard topic to talk about. As you know I am always talking about my mental health in the hope that others feel somewhat more normal in their feelings. I’ve never really divulged into the extremes my depression takes me too sometimes and perhaps it’s out of judgement, perhaps it’s the fear that I don’t want to accept I’ve ever reached that stage but I guess it’s more I’ve had a few of my friends come to me recently saying they feel the same. They also feel like they want to die at times.

Lockdown has obviously been crap for mental health. There’s been no upside in relation to mental health or physical health to me personally and it’s really taken it’s toll on me. Many others have felt the same. Without any real interaction other then via phones it’s really hard to communicate how we feel through a text. My counselling has been cancelled with no light at the end of the tunnel, no communication and no online sessions. I would normally take Elijah out daily and we’d see friends at-least 3/4 days of the week to get out and about . Now we are all stuck in with no communication. There is just no ability to feel better and being stuck at home means I’m stuck with my feelings. Many, many others are in the same position.

I have many times in my life become engulfed by my depression. Where I wouldn’t want to wake up in the morning, where I would rather die then start the day again. I wanted to die. I thought about how quick and easy it would be. I never wanted to kill myself. I never wanted to do anything about those thoughts but I did feel the world would be better of without me. I wanted to stop the pain. I wanted to stop the dark clouds that engulfed every moment of my life. It was hard. The only thing that kept me going was the thought of leaving my husband and son behind. I sort of became a human on autopilot not really thinking and doing things such as cooking and cleaning away and talking but not really being present to experience it. My body was here but I wasn’t. I was watching over unable to feel.

I hit a point I couldn’t take it anymore and had a breakdown. I found having a breakdown and ugly crying helped. Talking about my feelings to my husband is what was the breakthrough. Getting the words out, getting the feelings out was what I needed. The hurt, the pain and my feelings all in the air and I felt heart and safer. I spoke to my gp and my anti depressants fiddled around with again.

It is so important to speak when you have these thoughts. To tell your loved ones and get the thoughts and pressure off your head. It is okay to feel this way and while it’s not normal you can talk about how you feel. You are loved, somebody will always care about you and there is always someone you can talk too even if you don’t know them.

If you feel this way always speak about it. The people you speak to won’t judge. You can always call 111, the Samaritans and many other charity’s. You can call your friends, family, doctors or even just look online about your feelings. The storm will pass. You will breath again and feel better one day, it may not be today, tomorrow or next week but the calm will come. You will not be judged for having these thoughts. You will not be sectioned or anything like that for the thoughts. Feeling like you want to die is different to being suicidal and taking steps into it or planning it. If you ever get to a stage you are making plans it is time to take yourself to a hospital or talk to anyone who’ll listen.

The more you talk the more it lifts. The more better you feel. The more that heavy ness melts away with our tears. We get into our heads that everyone will judge us and that it’s not okay. Like we can’t have these thoughts. As parents we can’t have these thoughts because we’ll we’re parents. We apparently can’t ever have feelings of being down and can only ever be happy. This is not true. Anyone can experience depression. It doesn’t make you weaker, it doesn’t make you crazy it just means you feel so deeply that sometimes you can’t get out of those feelings. You’re not an attention seeker. You’re loved. You’re wanted, you’re existence matters and the world would be a shittier place with out you in it. Yes we can’t stop the worlds current situation, we can’t stop the bad news, the hurt and life events. But we can talk about it. We can process it and we can fight another day.

My inbox is always open. Charlie x