So it’s no secret I have insomnia and basically lack any ability to relax some days so when I received a space mask in a recent beauty subscription box I was quite excited to try a new product. Of course it’s been raced about by a few celebs who I like so if course I was excited to give it a whirl so here’s my opinion.
First of all packagings quite nice this was a valentines special edition which is why it’s red. There’s nothing fancy but the colour so it’s quite plain but that’s not what the products about.
So what it does is heat when opened up so it creates a nice warm feeling on your eyelids which makes your eyes feel light and you relaxed. I’d say it worked for about half an hour staying warm and then cooled down. I quite enjoyed it as I haven’t experienced anything similar unless I’ve had a hot flannel on my eyes. My eyes felt lighter and I felt the tension leave that part of me and it did enable some relaxation. My eyes didn’t feel as puffy either and although there was no direct oils or products on me I did feel almost like my eyes where in a bit better condition. It enable relaxation after a while and my mind sort of went away at times.
Unfortunately I think I was too anxious that night so I took a while to relax and I didn’t notice no change on my sleep. I will be trying it again after a nice relaxing skincare session and getting myself calm first to see if it really works. I’m also going to buy a cheeper Version on amazon to try too. Will update you on that too!
A friend of mine the other day asked me about what it’s like giving notice of marriage as she was confused and stressed about the meeting. I also was like that at the time as I was made to believe it was some quiz on your relationship and why your getting married. My anxiety caused stupid thoughts such as I would be married to someone I didn’t know about or something wildly dramatic would happen to me like being told we can’t get married. So here’s some information on what happens in appointment.
First of all you arrange the appointment and they tell you what Identification you require as I was born after a certain date I needed my mums birth certificate to prove who I was. I took some utility bills, bank statement, birth certificate and provisional license. James brought same except his driving license and passport. If you need to give your parents birth certificate you can request this through them prior to appointment if you have a poor relationship with parents.
They ask you for your job, your husbands, and your parents. If you have a poor relationship with family or don’t speak you can tell them this. I don’t know my biological dad so I didn’t want him on my marriage certificate so requested to have my step dad. They okayed this. You can also request not to have this asked to you on your wedding day when they reconfirm info before you go in.
You had to confirm each other’s date of birth. Where each other live. They may ask how you met but I think it’s just interest and not of question. You also have a photo the queen staring at you while you give all these answers it’s a bit weird. You also just answer pretty normal questions like his job extra and fill in their details and the they do the same.
Then they pretty much give you a pack with decisions on vows, what you want said as legally you need certain things and song choices exetra as they have to be okayed as a wedding ceromony is a legal thing. Then you go home to email back what you want. It can be intimidating but it’s nowhere near as bad as people make out. I think they ask more questions if from different country’s as people do try to scam visas exetra and also to make sure people aren’t breaking laws they might pester into past marriages and ask for proof of divorce. Also you can take your child we took Elijah and he just ran in circles and they didn’t care.
I know it is super dated using pen and paper to write messages but it’s something I’ve always wanted to do. I decided recently to put out a message to find a penpal on my twitter and three lovely people replied one of them from wales, one from America and one from Australia!
I was hoping to message people from outside England because I want to know what it’s like where others live. I want to know other people’s hobbies and what they like and dislike. I want to know more about people and how their lives are different to mine!
So once I confirmed with each person our addresses and what to add I got to it. I found my old stationary and started writing straight away. I introduced myself and said what I like and dislike and some fun facts about me. I asked questions such as how are things where people are living at the moment around the coronavirus and I asked everyone to introduce themselfs a bit more and tell me about themselfs and their home towns!
I also included some photos I printed of to add inside which shew my family, my home town and our local beach where we go all summer and winter long.
I think it’ll be quite exciting getting to know new people and discover who they are. I know we live in a generation where I could text but this seems more personal and a lot more fun. Also who doesn’t enjoy and handwritten letter anymore. I’ve had enough of bills, takeaway leaflets and vouchers for bingo coming through my door now!
Have you had a penpal before? would you like to find one?
Since writing a short little paragraph on my rosacea on my Instagram I had a lot of love in my dms from other suffers and one lady who thinks she may have it too. it’s so nice that I am able to use my platform to spread the word and empower other woman. If you haven’t seen my post it’s on my Instagram and it’s got a photo of my skin without make up, without a filter laid bare. This was part of a partnership with Pegasus owned cetraben to empower others to talk about their skin conditions.
Something I am very uncomfortable with is my rosacea. For years friends and family and work colleagues called me Rudolph. Why? Because that’s how my rosacea started of. My nose was very red and became swollen from how bad it was. For three years I had a red lumpy nose. Doctors put it down too acne. Over and over I was told to wash my face, take their medication that doesn’t work whilst they refused to send me to a dermatologist. After some research I realised I was entitled to be sent as I had attended over 4 appointments in half a year for the same reason with no answers so once I complained I was referred. I was sent to the dermatologist when I was 19. By then the redness started to spread from my nose to around my face to my cheeks. The woman I saw swabbed my nose and said she believes it to be rosacea but it is so rare in my age. So I was given some cream that didn’t work and sent away to fight to get a diagnosis again.
When i came in one day to the doctor I broke down in tears that I couldn’t take it anymore and said I have had enough of feeling sick looking in the mirror now. I explained I would cancel plans because of my looks. I would actively avoid photos because I felt so ugly. He sent me back to dermatology after fight for three more years and it changed my life.
On the day of my appointment I was late so ran through the hospital. You have no idea how large our hospital is so I was running for a while in summer! when I got to the desk the staff at the desk where worried about me because my face was so red and sat me down. When the dermatologist called me through pretty much immediately he smiled and said straight away I can confirm you most defiantly have rosacea. He explained that my red face was a symptom and that stress, heat, exercise and many other factors can affect it. It causes redness and flushing. When I had cooled down a bit he inspected my skin. He looked at the redness and then the spots. He said the acne is caused by the rosacea and that it will most likely never go away. However he said we should try some strong antibiotics and topical creams and he’d see me in three months. I went away and took the doxycycline and ivermectin. Within weeks my nose cleared up. I could see my skin for the first time in years. I remember the confidence it gave me and some of the redness surrounding my face cleared. Of course after stoping taking it the problem came back but not on my nose and not as bad. However I do find that the doxycycline does help when I take it although it causes side effects such as reflux for me and can only take short term.
It’s one of those things I have to live with as it goes and comes back. As the dermatologist said it’s something you have to live with but you do fantastic at hiding it. One thing I’ve become good at over the years is hiding my redness with my make up so that I have a bit more confidence. Stress aggravates it, spice, the heat, the cold, infact I think living just aggravates it. But I was glad I had someone who took the time to listen and I could finally put a name to my redness. I finally understood why as a child I would be red as a tomato after playing on the school ground. I understood when I flushed so much if I was embarrassed. I understood and that was enough for me. As I’ve gotten older I’ve accepted it. I don’t like it but I’ve accepted it’s who I am. I’ve started not wearing make up as much and owning it. However one downside is that it has spread to my eyes and causes a lot of irritation and of which I’m under the hospital for. I have more good days with my skin then I used too so I’m always thankfull for that. My face still burns and itches at time but atleast I’m not up crying in the night with it anymore or sticking a ice cube on my nose to cool it. Here are some photos of how bad my nose was and a recent flare up!
If your reading this and thinking that sounds like me please do talk to your gp about it because it can change your life. I am thankfull everyday that my nose is no longer a giant swollen ball of pain.
Gifted product- This candle was kindly sent from the lovely people over at am botanical. The candle is really really pretty! I think it’s the most beautifully presented packages I have ever opened too. The package had a beautiful note, lots of lovely tissue paper and a beautiful bag to hold it. This makes it the perfect gift because it makes the candle look classy and like you’ve gone to a lot of effort to order it!
The smell is really fresh! I was sent the joyful odorata. It smells similar to a few candles such as jo malone ones. It’s the prefect fresh scent for calming you and bringing your mood up. It has lavander in also which is so good for calming and mood boosting. It is packed full of essential oils and is plant based. It is vegan and cruelty free so perfect for anyone to use! They are also ethically conscious so you know your product is made with the planet in mind.
The candle itself looks so elegant in any room in the house I love the simplicity of the design. The burning is really strong and smells nice everywhere in the house. It burns really well and lasts a long time. With Father’s Day coming this would make the perfect gift as the scent is not to feminine either!
I loved cooking with my grandparents and my great grandparents when I was younger it’s one of the few skills I’ve been able to bring to adulthood with me. As Elijahs grown older he’s enjoyed gaining more responsibility and learning about how food is prepared. He loves baking cakes but outside of just pushing a spoon around we’ve started doing a lot more.
I want my son to leave home and know how to take care of himself and his future family. Not to expect others to teach them. I’ve taught my husband how to cook now I am slowly teaching our son.
Start with little tasks. Obviously no sharp knifes and heat should be involved in their cooking. So here’s some small tasks I give my little man to help with cooking. He is two and a half!
First of all you can ask your child to pass you items. Elijah loves doing this. He really thinks he is helping. We also pass each other blunt knifes and forks.
He helps butter them bread. I’ll be it is a little holey but he enjoys using the blunt knife and helping. He likes spreading jam and spreading tomato purée on a wrap or pizza base to make pizzas.
Get them to chop with a blunt knife. Elijah likes chopping cheese, bread, sandwiches anything soft.
Help them pour food that is measures into a bowl and get them to help measure out food too.
Help mix cake mixes, salad, anything cold.
Get them to help pour drinks and cereal.
Get them to help place food on a plate ready for dinner and assemble their own packed lunches.
Help set the table. Your child can take their plate and cutlery to the table and then their drink.
As Elijah gets older he will have more responsibilities in the kitchen but for now he’s happy with his little step and his helping hands!
It’s also a great way to teach food hygiene from a young age too!
It’s a funny old thing forgiveness, why should we forgive others for the way they have treated us in the past. Why should we open ourselves up to more pain and suffering.One thing me and my therapist started exploring with me before the corona virus pandemic hit was forgiveness. The ability to forgive not only others but myself too. But to forgive we have to understand why we may be feeling so hurt and against it.
When i was younger i was bullied. Relentlessly, my life became a living hell at times i even thought about taking my own life as a child myself. Because of this i found it easier to hate and hold on to anything said against me. Its why i don’t take compliments well and always see as others having some sort of secret need to take me down again. I turned my pain into anger, my anger into walls, my walls my anxiety and so forth.
Recently i have decided i would give this whole forgiveness thing a shot, thinking first about why it upsets me so much. I thought about why people treated me a certain way, Did previous trauma cause them to act this way? Is it just who the person is and that isn’t anything that will ever change? Can i relate on some level to why they’ve treated me in a certain way and then accept it that bit more?
First of all i decided to forgive people who went silent on me, a easy one. People who where your best friends one day and the next just popped of the planet like you never existed instead of being a adult and explaining why they no longer want to talk. When this happens there is a lot of questions and hurt, What happened? What did i do wrong? But in truth it doesn’t matter the key is accepting this happened and moving on. I thought about why this may have happened. Does the person not like conflict. Did i do something that might of upset them and then i thought i forgive this person because that’s what has happened and we can’t change it. Why hold on to anger that is not needed. Especially to someone who doesn’t speak to you anymore.
I then thought about people currently in my life who cause me pain and suffering not only now but in the past too. I decided to try and think why are people doing this to me. Why are they treating me in a way to cause harm and a reaction. But i decided that i know now that sometimes people are the way they are. Be it there personality or previous trauma which has caused a type of behaviour. We cannot change someone and why hold on to bitter feelings when we should learn and grow from them. Our experiences are to be learned from not obsessed over.
Forgiveness of others does not mean however we keep people in our lives that cause harm. It doesn’t mean we are door mats to stomp feet all over. Instead it mean we are the bigger person silently forgiving. But with forgiveness comes growing i have chosen to forgive certain peoples treatment towards me but decided as i have forgiven them i will move on from this relationship and not speak again to said person or to argue over the same things again. I will not inherit others drama and let it go forgiving and forgetting.
The most important thing about forgiveness however is forgiving yourself. Forgiving yourself for your feelings. Forgiving yourself for how you feel and allowing yourself to grow. For example i felt like i let myself down when i had a c section. I felt like a failure and like my body didn’t work although this was not my fault at all! I felt resentment to myself and also the fact that i put weight on during my pregnancy and i also hated myself because i suffered with post natal depression. I hated myself for previous friendship breakdowns and for who i am as a person. However now i think back and forgive my body for needing a c section and acknowledging depression is not my fault. I forgive myself for how i look,how i feel because i know that i cannot help how i feel about myself. I know that my life is not my fault and that my feelings are just and valid. I forgive myself for feeling a certain way and choose not to feel guilt or disappointment in myself.
It is so hard to forgive but it is sometimes easier if you just sit and think i forgive you in your head and breath out. Let someone who pops into your head be forgiven and grow from it. There needn’t be any real life conversations but draw a line in the sand sometimes and think i forgive you and myself. Obviously this doesn’t apply to everyone and every case such as serious cases but it’s something that has helped me with my more minor issues. As always stay safe, Charlie x
One thing I struggle to do as a blogger is find new bloggers when I put out a call for other bloggers to be featured in a blog post so others could be featured they where all more than eager to join! So if your looking for new things to read I’ve got a bit of everything here!
One thing I have really noticed since being a mother is how hard it can be. It’s not all sunshine’s and rainbows as people like to portray in their perfect little photos. Now more than ever I will scroll through my Facebook or Instagram and all I see is smiles and happiness when in fact I know full well behind the heavy filters and fake smiles is a kid who screams all day because he just feels like it and a parent at the end of her tether wondering what she ever did wrong to the kid.
I have always aimed to be an honest parent. Not only in my blog but on all social media platforms too. No matter if people judge me for my honesty i do it for the other mums. The mums who like me want to see the truth. Who want to see more photos of mums pouring them self a big glass of wine at the end of the day to try have some sort of happiness on those hard days. I want to see mums talking about their child’s tantrums, about how their child who drives them completely potty.
There is nothing more I hate then these parents who treat everything as a competition. Thinking their child is the best shiny trophy in their hall of fame and no other child will ever be as good. But have I got news for you. Your perfect child is perfect to you as my child is to me but I do not for a second believe my child is this angel because of my opinions or that I need to put my child above others. All children are equal and they all have tantrums at some point. If you’re lucky enough to have a mellow child look out because one day it will come. Until then don’t be an ass and only talk about how great your child is. Also don’t be that braggy and comparing mum.Nobody cares about your child reaching a milestone a day earlier then your friends child.
I want to hear about your sleepless nights, your child throwing their dinner against your white walls and carpet, I want to relate to you. I want to know that your just like me. Like I’m not alone in this world. I want to know that it’s normal to have a sob once a week because your child has relentlessly misbehaved because you perhaps didn’t let them have cake for breakfast or something equally as stupid as jump off a sofa face first.
I want you to know it’s okay to be honest. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to shout sometimes. It’s okay to feel stressed. You are not alone. Every other parent goes through this even if they don’t admit it. You’ve got this mama!
Hang in there because one day when they’ve moved out you might actually get to finish a hot drink or have a conversation that doesn’t relate back to your kids at some point!
Dms are always open for a moan about your kid I’m listening! I know you love your kid and accept that they’re little balls of anger. You are not a bad mum. What you see on the internet is not the whole picture. A second of the days does not compute someone’s whole day and what goes on behind that camera screen.
Well there is a sentence i never thought i would say. Following on from recent government advice to wear face coverings where social distancing may not be possible for example in hospitals, shops and public transport i have decided to wear face masks. Obviously they are not overly protective they protect you better than nothing at all. Also we wear the face masks not to only protect ourselves but others. Wearing a mask can prevent your droplets escaping into the air around us as much and protects the general public if we where carriers of the virus and had no idea.
I am not seeing enough people wearing them in public and when i see others that do people just stare almost as though they think they look stupid. There is nothing stupid about trying to safeguard your health and others around you. The issue is however people who wear them in a car by themselves, on a walk or wear the medical grade filtered ones that the nhs so desperately need.
I advice you to buy or try to make your own face mask. There are instructions on how to make one online and many small businesses make handmaid ones. However do not buy the proper medical grades ones that medical professional needs. Your risk of getting the virus is low when out and about socially distancing but a nhs staff member touching covid patients requires it far more. Lets support others who wears a mask and wear one when we need to for the safety of us and others. This is especially important now that lock down is slowly being lifted.