Stop making all the effort

One thing that lockdown has taught me as a life lesson is that I put way to much effort into other people. I’m always first to start conversations and I am always trying to keep relationships with friends/family members that don’t perhaps deserve the time.

Yes we are all going through our own personal battles during lockdown and it’s hard enough trying to keep your head above water let alone reply to a text… but have you noticed that those who choose to ignore your texts or calls are the ones who didn’t bother pre lockdown? I find it so frustrating always reaching out to people and trying my hardest to share my love with others and have it thrown back in my face repeatedly.

I would always be the first texter, the one making plans, the first to talk in a room but not anymore. I have come to find life is to short to worry about what others want and need from me.When all you need to worry about is what you need from yourself. If you’re noticing your always the one who cares and someone else doesn’t, do you really need them in your life? Is your life really effected by them not being in it? After all if they can’t be bothered to reply what’s the difference in complete silence?

My life is so much easier not waiting anxiously for texts of people worrying if I have perhaps upset them now. I no longer worry about making awkward plans and having to make all the conversation effort. I don’t worry about upsetting someone by not replying because it’s what they have done to me for many moons. I also don’t feel like I’m an issue. I don’t worry what’s wrong with me anymore and thinking I’m always to blame.

Know your worth. Know that you need to communicate with someone as much as they are communicating with you. Don’t embarrass yourself chasing others for a conversation but at the same time realise that’s you need to put in as much work as them. If they’re texting you first text them first every now and then. Arrange plans more frequently and share the responsibility. A friendship/relationship works two ways where both of you benefit in partnership. If one of you is letting the other side down then all that will happen will be resentment and the slow fizzle into a void. You cannot expect someone else to do all the legwork while you sit around moaning about everyone else not bothering with you. Do remember that people who used to bother may not bother as much in lockdown and that’s okay. Remember who’s been there before lockdown and who hasn’t.

Find your friends, love your friends, love your family, make new friends and enjoy your life don’t be weighed down by some sort of moral obligation. You only have one life and it’s to short to go round with resentment. If your friends/family come back one day and want to try to build that trust up again let them. But don’t be walked all over. Love yourself

Thanks for reading Charlie!

One thought on “Stop making all the effort

  1. I love this post I was literally talking to hubby about similar the other day I can so relate my only problem is because I gave up being the first person I literally now have one friend that I know bothers we me as much as I bother with her… then it gets depressing feeling so alone, like no one cares about me? At least I have my family!


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