How to support someone with depression.

Just because you see the world a certain way doesn’t mean everyone else has too. Some people see the world in a black and white way and some see the colour. Everyone is allowed to have their own feelings and that’s okay. If I say I’m feeling down. I don’t need someone telling me all the positives of life right now and things I already know. Like I know I should be grateful I have a family, people have it worse and bla bla bla. I mean do people honestly think it’s helpful to try and tell people how to think?

Here’s a fun fact if you try to make someone feel a certain way they will probably go the opposite way. You can’t make someone feel happy by telling them to be. Medication isn’t a magic fix for depression and nor will it ever be.

When someone’s feeling down talk to them. Ask and VALIDATE their opinions. Don’t tell them what to do. Don’t ask about their medication. Because that’s gonna piss anyone off. All you need to do, to be a friend is listen. Not give advice. Just listen. Let someone moan to you. Do not make them feel guilty. Your issues are different to someone else’s and imagine if someone told you how to feel if you where feeling down and what to do because their opinions are different then yours.

There’s been so many times over my life where I’ve been told how to feel, to suck it up, someone has it worse. But you know what it doesn’t matter how someone else has it because they are not currently living your life. One thing I’ve learned from counselling is that I am entitled to feel down. I do not need to bury my emotions and if it helps to talk about them then that’s what I bloody well should do! When family or even friends say someone has it worse I now say the conversations over and I don’t care if someone has it worse my feelings are still valid.

Some people have different views than us on life. Someone who is depressed will see the world as doom and gloom and that’s okay. Instead of forcing positivity on them just ask how they’re feeling. Just listen and say I know that must be hard. Don’t try to compare to your feelings. Don’t try and tell them what to do because it doesn’t help. You can also be more than one person. You can be positive then depressed because as humans we can have this ability to be positive and then crash, hard.

You also don’t have to talk about their depression. You can just ask them what they’ve been up too, change the conversation. Talk about films and movies you’ve seen. Talk about anything else then there depression this helps take their minds of things. Depression needs a distraction the more your focus on it sometimes the worse it feels. Your friend is still in there. So continue to treat them as normal and as there friend be there for them. Hopefully you’ll never need to have them be there for you in the same case.

If you’re really concerned about someone or yourself you can contact many charity’s such as Samaritans exetera. As always my dms are always open. Stay safe, let’s get through this together.

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