February’s Birchbox

February’s Birchbox

It’s that time again! And boy do I get excited for that little pink box to come to my door! The great thing about birch box is the complete surprise down to until it arrives at your door basically! After having a pretty busy day I was thrilled to come home to my package and sneak a peak inside.

A few days ago I received this lovely little box which I presume is Valentine’s Day themed with all the pink and reds and heart print box! I adore the box design as it reminds me of my Emma bridgewater bits so have kept it to organise bits in my drawer! The box had tissue paper shreds so it made a nice change although I found it a bit wasteful as what was I to do with it? That aside a lovely presented box this time around with everything inside matching with the colours! So I’ve tried all the products so here’s a bit of a review too!

Amika exfoliating shampoo, this is to exfoliate your scalp while you was your hair basically. I really didn’t like the feeling of it and I had to rinse a lot to soap up but I can confirm my scalp felt good but I probably won’t be purchasing in the future.

Lip mask! I was sceptical as I’ve seen these advertised and thought wow people just want to look silly… but I tried it to see what all the fuss us about. It felt really nice when I put it on and felt nice and cooling and odd. When. I took it off I was so surprised it had made a small difference. My lips looked fuller and perkier without looking fake. I have small lips so I felt great!

Lord and berry lip pencil. A lovely pencil that does the job the red is a very good stain and can be used with other lipsticks to define or on own as more of a tint. Is a little drying but if you moisturise first it’s all good!

The blush wasn’t really my colour so I’ve given to my mother who she says is quite lovely but when I tried it on although I looked a bit toasted the formula is lovely and soft!

Space masks. Although they’re only single use they are so calming and soothing. As I struggle with sleep this was the perfect item to receive ! I instantly felt calmer and relaxed with it on. My eyes felt relaxed and heavy. I soon fell to sleep in a tranquil state like being at a spa!

I hope you enjoyed my post and I’ll see you soon for more!

Emotional abuse does effect someone in the long run.

Emotional abuse does effect someone in the long run.

Since starting counselling I’ve really been able to find myself and explore bits of myself I’ve hidden away. While I experienced physical abuse as a child from other people around me I also experience emotional abuse. I think in the long run the physical abuse was easier than the emotional.

Once apon a time I was happy, in my childhood. As all children are they’re full of innocence and have a fun loving attitude to the world. But children are also sponges. I soaked up everyone’s negative energy, negative comments and abusive words. It slowly twisted around and moulded me into who I am today. Someone who is afraid to upset anyone, someone who gets hurt to easily, someone who takes everything possible to offence and someone who is afraid to let someone in and ruins relationships with others through this.

Little things count as child abuse/emotional abuse. I don’t think people really understand what they are doing is going to upset someone and cause hurt in the long run. It’s tho he like apologising for behaviour that can help someone move on from this. Emotional abuse is the act of saying or doing things to upset someone on purpose. To say comments or minipulate someone so that their feelings are hurt or to get something someone wants. With me I was bullied quite a lot. I was called weird a lot in school. I was WEIRD because I was trying to be happy all the time so people couldn’t see my sadness. I was WEIRD because I was worried about others opinions on me all the time and i was trying to be liked. I had comments made on my appearance and my style. In the long term it’s caused me to be self conscious and worried about my looks constantly in everything. Comments said to me in my teenage years really got to me when told “you’re so ugly”, “you’re so spotty nobody will like you, you ugly freak”. I was called Rudolph for years when my rosacea was at its worse and my nose was constantly bright red and swollen which made me not want to look in mirrors or leave the house.

I think a lot of my issues with trust have come from not being able to trust anyone. constantly being shouted at and having constant personal comments have made me somewhat scared to have human interaction. If I’m in any sort of situation of arguement or something like that I basically have a panic attack and have anxiety attacks for days loosing sleep constantly replalaying situations in my head. I worry why people don’t like me and if I’ll upset someone with everything I do. I’ve also started to care of people don’t like me and it cripples me when people don’t and I try my hardest to please. I’ve made cakes for people, brought gifts for people, I’ve tried to use presents to buy people’s love and affection. I struggle to make friends and trust people. I struggle to keep friends too as I worry someone will hurt me again. I worry I’ll be abandoned by family and friends all the time and it causes me to hate any form of confrontation or negativity. I put up with people negative attitudes and emotional abuse even now because I’m so afraid of loosing people and upsetting someone by not putting up with it.

The good thing about counselling has been that I’ve been able to accept what’s happening around me and that this behaviour isn’t normal. I’ve started calling people out on things that upset me so I don’t allow myself to be hurt as much and so people can understand that this behaviour is not okay. I’ve started to retaliate when people say horrid things to me and say them back. Why should I just sit there and take it when I’m not the one in the wrong? I’ve accepted not everyone is going to like you and that is okay. You can’t buy love and that’s okay too. I’ve learnt that trust is my biggest issue and that everything comes back to trust. I have built up walls that are very hard to get down and it’s not others fault that I don’t let them in. Being mistreated is not okay and it’s okay to have feelings about it.

It’s okay not to be okay. It’s okay to feel sad/hurt by negative emotions and words towards you.

The way I’ve been treated all my life has allowed me to be a better parent. I try to bring my son up as much as I can. I praise him all the time and constantly tell him how loved and good he is. I don’t scream at him when he’s being bad or get personal when he is being bad. I don’t hold on to anger towards him and move on from stress and negative feelings for the best of both of us. I explain bad behaviour is not okay and why. I tell him that I understand why he feels a certain way and that it is okay but there are ways to deal with it. I give him a lot more of my attention and don’t make him feel he has to earn it. I teach him to play nicely with other children and call him AND other children up if they are being unkind or hurtful to someone else. I don’t allow others to get him down too and try to limit contact with people who are negative for him to be around or make him upset or feel unwanted such as people not wanting to see him when repeatedly asked. I call people out when they are perhaps being hurtful and saying things that aren’t right that might hurt Elijahs feelings or teach him to hurt others. Things such as older family talking about race and culture I cut them off and explain infront of Elijah that race isn’t a thing that matters and that we love everyone.

At the end of the day we’re human and we are wired to feel so strongly so when things are said. Negative attitudes projected on you constantly and aggression towards you lingers in the back of your mind when situations get tense it is completely normal to feel bad. We also need to take responsibility and not project our negativity on others and apologise why we do. We can find people are more understanding why you are and behave a certain way, you’re not asking for sympathy but understanding that you take your time letting people in and they will never fully be let in. You are also okay to say you are upset and need time to yourself. You can have a break from people and negativity. It is not selfish and it doesn’t matter who it is. You are the most important person in the world as you are living your life not body else. You only live one life so take care of you and then you can take care of others.

Remember to always to be kind. You never know what your negativity can do someone in the long run. Apologise when you do wrong and love with all your heart but only who deserves it!

Using a children’s centre

Using a children’s centre

I’ve the years Elijahs been with us (and growing in my tummy) we’ve been to quite a few children centres and classes. A children’s centre is basically like a mini nursery class where there’s play activity’s and it’s free or sometimes a very small charge depending on what it is. We’ve been to quite a few and used to go weekly to one group close to us at a near by hall but it was only open until Elijah was walking so we had to stop going. We recently tried a new one and it is only about a twenty minuite walk. This new group is in the same place we did our hypnobirthing and a few community centre baby sensory classes in the early days. There was in and outdoor play and Elijah loved it. It had climbing frames, crafts tables, sensory items and outdoor toys and plenty of sensory bits. He spent all his time outdoors playing with balls, slides and other children. I think it is so important that children are around other children as much as they can because it is so good for their social development. I think it helps them make friends and also adjust to nursery/school life earlier. I’m quite lucky to have a boy who loves socialising and I think it may be due to always taking him out with other children as much as we can.

Although we love a bit of soft play and going out with our friends it’s become clear over the years that we want to try new things and make more friends. I think it’s nice to make mummy friends because your child has a friend and you do too. I think it’s easier to make new friends with mothers too because they understand what you’re going through and are easier to make plans with as it doesn’t require childcare for the day. You also can relate and talk about your kid which all parents love to do even if they say they don’t.

I think i will be taking Elijah weekly because he loved it so much and it was full of children. I enjoyed going out of my comfort zone, I’ve put it off quite often due to being anxious about new people but I went anyway and loved it. Lots of mums chatted to me while our children played and it was nice to have conversations with someone new. It was a great exsercise for Elijah too as he spent two hours running around and chasing other children and showing them things. It gave us play ideas we could do at home too such as sensory play with leaves and a mud kitchen. I’m all for anything that gets us out the house especially if it’s free. So why not look at your local children’s centre classes and try something new. We also go on the play bus too sometimes which is run by our children’s centre and Elijah loves it! He gets to sit and play on a bus which has a slide, dress up, colouring, toys and even a sandpit. It’s also a double decker bus which is very colourful which is a definite plus. Why not try something new and use a children’s centre. Remember it’s funded by the government so if you don’t use it, it won’t get funded. Use it or lose it!

How I handle my toddlers mood swings.

How I handle my toddlers mood swings.

The terrible twos have got that reputation for the very reason that they can be terrible. Your child is growing at an amazing rate and is struggling to cope with all the information they are taking in. remember in school when you would get frustrated with all the information you’re taking in that’s your child constantly. Even when they’re asleep they’re little minds are growing and learning. So it’s only natural and completely understandable that they explore their emotions and push boundaries as they do this to learn what behaviours are acceptable too. And of course you are not a terrible parent if you get frustrated. You’d have to be such a saint not to get stressed when somebody screams, throws things at you and throws themselfs on the floor in public day after day. You are not a bad parent for sometimes raising your voice or getting overwhelmed and having a tear or two after being on your own all day and not being able to have five minuites to yourself.

I have days like this too. Things get too much and sometimes I snap and have a cry or get upset. But that’s normal as a human we feel so deeply so we feel others struggles and also feel a bit overwhelmed when anger is taken out on us all day. But it’s how we deal with this everyday that can make or break us. When Elijahs mid tantrum now I will calmly tell him what he’s doing is wrong and not acceptable behaviour. I tell him I understand he is upset and why he is upset and then I walk away and give him a moment. This allows me to breath and calm down too so he doesn’t see me upset as this can make him worse. I then repeat myself and do this again. If I do crack sometimes as we all do and have shouted at him when things have calmed down later I will apologise for shouting and explain why I did. I want a relationship with him where he learns to apologise for bad behaviour and also to understand that I don’t hate him and why I behaved how I did. I feel when I was younger I would of appreciated this being done to me so I try to do this as much as I can. At the end of a hard day I like to go into his room and watch him sleep for a minute while he’s calm and still. I try to just breath and take him in. That it’s all worth it. So if you’re having a hard time just watch them sleep for a minute and remember what you’re doing this for. You’ve got this mamas and papas it’s hard but you’re growing a little person and it’s going to be hard nothing worth while is ever easy.

What we get up to at the weekend

What we get up to at the weekend

It’s no secret that my favourite time of the week is Friday evening when the weekend starts. It means James has finished for the weekend and we get two whole days together as a family. There’s nothing I enjoy more. We’re always trying to make memories while also remembering resting and spending time together is important too.

Our weekend starts with a coffee from the other person made as we roll out of bed. On a Saturday I or James will have a lay in and on a Sunday we swap and the other person does. I say lay in but we always wake for about 9 am now. The other gets up with Elijah to give him breakfast and play with him. We normally then decide what we’ll do for the day if we haven’t already. We’ll decide somewhere family friendly to go and almost always will eat lunch out. If we go for a walk we have lunch after or before or if we go for a trip to town we will wind up at food at some point too. We quite often go for walks though and decide where on the day. For a treat we will often take Elijah for a day at soft play, to a museum or to the zoo. We normally do this on a Saturday.

After we’ve done our day plans we will normally come home for the evening shove on some pjs and watch something then have a small meal together before putting Elijah to bed and watching a film or series. Or we go too see family for tea and relax round there’s before returning to put Elijah to bed. On a Sunday we like to normally keep this as our chill day. Sometimes we’ll go for a walk or to the shops for something but mainly we like to relax. We get the housework deep cleaning done while Elijahs asleep for a nap. Things like washing, mopping, dusting, polishing, de scaling and scrubbing of rooms if I haven’t done it already. We spend the rest of the day cuddling up watching films, Playing with Elijah and doing some sort of arts or craft. We’ll do painting or do play dough or sometimes baking. We try to do a family activity as much as we can so we have real family time. Sometimes we will invite family or friends over but we normally like to cuddle up just the three of us.

We do like to try and do different things as much as possible so we go to different places for lunch, walks and more. We like to look out for events near us and look for different things in the area. We like to go to museums and to themed days and fates too. We often take strolls on the beach and end up on the amusements. We do love spending time together but also appreciate sometimes it’s nice to have our own time too. So sometimes I’ll go out with a friend or James will. Sometimes I’ll take Elijah out with me so James can have some time to himself. This happens very rarely though as we both agree we like to spend our weekends together and often go out weekdays instead with friends.

Looking forward to our next weekend where we are hoping to take Elijah to his favourite place the zoo! James has had too work the last two Saturdays so we’ve had to put of plans and relax more on sundays. What do you get up to at the weekend and have you got a set relaxation day too? What’s your favourite thing to do?!

Now that I’m 25.

Now that I’m 25.

With every year that passes you can’t help but find yourself looking back at your life and reflecting on what you’ve achieved. For many years I always felt I could have done better, that I wasn’t where I should be in life and that I could be happier. For the first time in years I can safely say that I am happy where I am. Although yes I am no longer in my early twenty’s but now (shock horror) my late twenties. I think I’ve finally got to a age where maturity has came and I’ve left my childishness at the door. It’s almost happened somewhat overnight.

This last year has been a whirlwind if you’d have told me by 25 I would of had the hardest but best years of my life I would laughed in your face. I’d recently gone back to work and was enjoying being back around this time. I wouldn’t of dreamt about being a stay at home mum. I had plans and I wanted a career. But things change. Your mindset changes when you become a mother. Work became too stressful and was becoming a place I didn’t feel happy and was effecting my home life by causing a spiral into depression. I decided I had to leave and me and husband spoke about options and decided it would be best for me to stop working. This has been the best thing for us. Although Elijah has grown older and become a bit more (understatement) stressful and needy I’ve been able to really enjoy and experience it. I’ve come to realise recently we all have down days so I can’t beat myself up everytime I feel like parenting is getting to much for me. I hit a snag of serious depression around Elijahs birthday I didn’t realise why but it turns out I was depressed because I had been reminded of Elijahs traumatic birth and a impending operation which I’ve since cancelled for now. This inspired my gynae to reach out to a counsellor for me and I see one now every week. It’s changed my life and it’s a bit of a understatement . I’ve realised there’s a lot more than just my birth trauma which I’m anxious for and the way I think and act has all been shaped and moulded by traumatic events in my life. It has not always been always sunshine and rainbows like my personality has made it seem so to truly accept that has taken a lot of work. I’ve come to realise I have been trying for so long to make others like and love me so that I don’t get hurt that I’m hurting myself in the process. It’s exhausting. So slowly I’m working on me and my mental health and trying to find out who the real me is.

I have so many things to be grateful for! I’m 25 and I have achieved so much in my short life. I have a husband who I adore with all that I am and who adores me. Someone who never makes me sad and always tells me just how much he loves me. We of course got married with our closest friends and family in a intimate wedding which was completely personal to us. We had a lovely day and a lovely honey moon in this last year and soon we will celebrate our first anniversary married. We welcomed our first child two years ago and celebrated him turning two. In this last year he has learned to walk and talk and so much more. He fills me with such love and he is something that really gives my life purpose. I may have stopped working but it gives me the time now to give all that I am so that he can be all that I ever wanted to be and more. We have a lovely home which we brought, we own, I know how crazy is that! And we will of lived here three years in may! We’ve made so many friends and kept in touch with old. We’ve became closer to friends and family and concentrated on showering others with the love we have to share. Life is too short and we must live every moment we can with love. I think of so many that don’t have as much and aren’t as lucky as me so I am truly grateful. I go to bed tonight with food in my tummy, in a bed under shelter. I may be 25 but hopefully I have a lot more time left. It’s time to start enjoying life, stop worrying about others perceptions of me and worry more about my own. Love yourself and love everyone else. Kindness is the first step to happiness. Here’s to the next birthday!

The importance of the outdoors and your child

The importance of the outdoors and your child

Children need exercise as much as they can but we often forget the greatest free activity there is which is exploring the outside world. Nothing beats a bit of fresh air and the wind in your hair so why do we often forget to take a walk on the wild side? Children absolutely adore the outdoors and it is so good for their development too. Not only learning to walk on different grounds but learning textures and the sensory play that comes from the outdoors. They love discovering new things and learning about the outdoors. They love to see different objects and different surroundings and using their imagination.

We love to explore the outside be it for walks in the park to feed the ducks and see the squirrels and hunt for leaves. Or whether it’s a run down a windy beach front to watch the waves crash against the rocks. We love walking through the forests and seeing dogs and talking about what we see and taking Elijahs bike. We look for the gruffalo and imagine the animals that could be hiding. We love building sandcastles in the sun on warm beaches or crabbing and feeding the crabs and letting them go. We enjoy trips to the park and pretending we’re in a house or on a helicopter ride or flying so high. We love finding muddy puddles to soak our wellies into and collecting pinecones and conkers for sensory games and arts and crafts at home. It is so important to enjoy this beautiful world we live in while it’s still so beautiful. The world is the greatest gift of them all and some of my happiest memories have always been outside. The wind and rain cannot stop us! Dress up warm find some wellies and return for a reward of a hot chocolate!

Why you should always try to be romantic with your other half

Why you should always try to be romantic with your other half

It’s Valentine’s Day soon approaching everything will be about love and showing your other half you love them. While you should show your partner you love them everyday it is nice to spend Valentine’s Day sharing love with the whole world.

Sometimes we forget how important it is to show our other half how much we love them. It doesn’t always have to be something extravagant but something little. It can be a compliment. You can just say you look good today or something like that. You can pick up their favourite chocolate from the corner shop or get a extra cake from bakery. You can leave messages in their work bag every now and then to surprise them or a post it on their desk. You can plan a date night or make a lovely home cooked meal or order in their favourite takeaway. You can let them choose a film or series every now and then or even let them play a game while you sit next to them doing something you enjoy too. You can send text messages every now and then to ask how they are and how their day is going, sometimes this means more than anything. Telling your partner and showing your partner just how much you love them is so important and is something we would all love back. Shower each other with love because that’s what you both deserve.