Goodbye to anti-depressants

Since November i had to take anti-depressants after hitting a really rough patch. I found that they helped me a great deal until i could do something about my thinking process which came in the form of counselling. I started counselling in December and have been going weekly since January. It really has been the break through i needed. I needed the safe space to talk, to let all my emotions out and to truly feel somewhere where the pain was controlled. I’ve been able to talk in counselling and talk to myself in a way and work out things in my head. I can process thoughts better and not take everything said to me to mean offence. I’ve been able to think about why others work and act a certain way and understand why others may treat me badly. I’ve learnt to not get so upset by many things and walk away from situations that may upset me. I have learnt to say no and that i am in control of what i do, what i say and my life. I

have learnt that i matter as much as everyone else and that not everyone will like you sometimes. But that is okay. I’ve learn’t its okay to talk about my mental health and it is not attention seeking but being honest to both myself and to the world in the hope that others can find that courage too. I’ve learned i am a good wife and mother and that i may not always think that but i am loved. I have learn’t how lucky i am to have such a lovely friendship circle and that they also love me too.

I have been of my anti depressants for a whole month. I spoke to my doctor first and she agreed that i sound and look better than ever. She said i seem a lot more relaxed and happy. The truth is i think that i am… Happy. I just don’t think I’ve been this happy in so long that i have forgotten what that emotion is. Of course if things change i will happily ask for another set of pills but for now i’m me again. I see the beauty in the world again and smile that little bit more, i step out of my comfort zone and am rewarded with joy.

Thanks for reading x

3 thoughts on “Goodbye to anti-depressants

  1. So glad counselling has helped you. I totally recommend counselling to anyone.

    I go for my last counselling session tomorrow. I am obviously a little nervous letting go. But I shall go straight back to her, (private counselling, ) should I need it again. I won’t wait for it, to find the NHS provider letting me down, like twice before and end up in a really bad place.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wish the nhs hired people who are generally caring sometimes the same happened to me! I adore my counsellor now and will be donating when I’m done but for now I think I’ve only started scratching surface and I’m already much happier! X

      Liked by 1 person

      1. When it came to NHS the only issue was with whoever is responsible in making sure they contact me by my preferred method. This was supposedly noted. But when i got more desperate and queried where I was, their email certainly did not give the impression I was on their list, on top of my preference. So they certainly not learnt their lesson from their same mistake as before, otherwise the counselling with counsellor itself was fine. After feeling suicidal last year I was no way going to wait any longer after being put back on list, when I was supposedly on it. I don’t feel their apology made up for the same mistake.

        Yes, counselling takes some weeks and where you are at, as you say, you are just scratching the surface. May it continue to help you.


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