Parenting is not a competition.

For some reason the second you have your child the competition starts. Be it about how big your child’s birth weight was, how well they slept and how much they cry. People feel the need to compare every last detail about your child to there’s. Silly things like how much hair they have to if they’re reaching a milestone first. It is a totally toxic world out there. It doesn’t stop with parents though I’ve had grandparents make competitions of their children’s development thirty years ago and they try to out do you! My own Nan once told me she potty trained my uncle at six months when i was telling her how we where trailing potty training. I for one no its total BS considering he couldn’t talk or walk then. My grandma since confirmed too that was a lie. I honestly don’t see why people feel the need to compete their child against another.

Especially when children are young the development stage is something parents and carers cling to. People ask are they talking yet? My child could say this many words how many could yours say? Oh is he not walking yet? Mine has been walking for months!

It can be so damaging as well,parents could be worrying about their child’s development behind closed doors and someone who is not a professional saying your child should be doing this that and the other creates all sorts of emotions. Especially as around this stage in young childhood is when signs of autism can occur and it can cause parents to worry constantly. The truth is alot of children can and do develop at their own rate. They may be slow to do things like talk or walk but when they are ready they will do it. There is no rush and i wish other parents would accept that. And if your child does have autism then that isn’t a bad thing it’s just a part of who they are and more love to give you will not care for the many less.

There is unfortunately a lot of jealousy in parents too because if their child isn’t doing something they sometimes try to beat other children’s accomplishments down. Sometimes they also like to compare and say well my child can do this and yours can’t. I understand this need and have felt it myself when someone has been beating down my child’s accomplishments for their own satisfaction.

There is a lot of behaviour comparison to which i have been guilty of too but i just wish people would stop lying about how perfect their children are as if every day is sunshine and rainbows.

At the end of the day it doesn’t really matter what your child can or cannot do in comparison to other children. It doesn’t matter if your child is a angel or a child who is so badly behaved you wonder how you will get through the day. Because i can guarantee you that those angel children have their bad days too no mater how much their parents only want to project their perfection to the world.

Remember your child is perfect too and will get to where they need to be when they get there. Just so long as your child is loved, your child is healthy and they are happy then what else matters really? Do you look at your peers and think oh well you CLEARLY weren’t sitting up at six months old and it shows. When you grow up these things do not matter any more. Someone who spent hours upon hours watching tv when they where younger could grow up to be a doctor, the same as someone who read books every day and attended every group under the sun could end up the complete opposite. So lets keep our opinions and comments to ourselves because really our opinions don’t matter. Also lets not compare our children. They are perfect to us and that is all that matters. They will always be perfect to us and they will achieve great things no matter what.

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