Something I’ve somewhat been made to feel ashamed of by my single friends is that I’m married and have a child. While my dreams are different to there’s they’re not the only ones who have perhaps judged me for wanting to be married and a mother earlier.
Way back in the past it was the normal to be married early and have lots of children. However as generations have changed with the environment we live in I find people are leaving it longer to want to settle down. Maybe it’s the fact we have dating at our finger tips now, less expectations of commitment, more divorce and experience of broken homes But it’s unclear why it’s become something done later in life.
For people who want to date and just have fun I salute you. Living your best life is something you should never be ashamed of and if all you want to do is be single or stay in and out of short term relationships then you do you. If you’re happy in your own company then that’s an amazing thing being happy as you are and loving/putting yourself first.
A lot of my mum friends understand my choice to get married and have a child younger in life. They understand how it feels to be in a committed loving relationship and have goals for that to blossom. For example getting married and having more children or being happy with the one. I think being raised by a young mum has made me want that myself. My mum was 19 when I was born which meant she had lots of energy and is still quite young now. Now although I didn’t want children at 19 I had always planned in my head I wanted them about 22. I grew up pretty quickly and was always mature for my age so I feel it’s been a great asset in deciding when to become a mother. When I met James I knew I loved him and wanted to spend my whole life with him and when he proposed I was over the moon. This has meant that Elijahs grandparents are still quite young and can enjoy him as much as possible also. There’s even currently five generations in my family!
But it would be silly to make others feel bad for choosing to have a family at such a young age. Your hopes and plans may be different to others and that’s okay but we cannot judge someone for wanting different things in life. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit there’s aspects I miss of my life before becoming a mother like nipping to the loo in peace or being able to do what I want when I want. But I have been changed into this caring loving mother who is a better person. My heart has grown ten times bigger and I’m glad I’ve got to experience it for longer in my life instead of stretching it out waiting for the right time to have a child. So I don’t feel bad for wanting a baby and marriage and a house. My upbringing and my personality gives me what I want in life and I am going to enjoy where it has taken me. At the end of the day I look at my son and husband with so much love it makes me feel like I’m crying with love on the inside and that’s something I’d never want changed. Even when I’m dealing with public tantrums and the expense of a wedding it’s all been worth it.