Being brave.

To many it would seem I was a loner in a cafe by myself. It would look like I was waiting for someone or I have no friends, but that wasn’t the case. I was quite simply being brave. I’m quite socially anxious when out on my own. Especially since having a child, walking through town with Elijahs become somewhat my security blanket. Even though I would sit in a cafe with Elijah being alone is something that scares me quite a bit. The anxiety that people are staring and judging is just a bit too much for me. I hate waiting for people on my own in public let alone being on my own and I actively avoid going out on my own.

On Friday after counselling I did something I would never normally do, I went to a cafe on my own. I ordered a drink and cake and didn’t rush myself. I sat there and just relaxed into my own company. I felt anxious at first walking in and sitting alone but I soon got to grips with the fact nobody cared and quite enjoyed myself. Small steps are big steps and one day I hope my anxiety will go but for now I’m trying little things to make myself a bit more happy.

2 thoughts on “Being brave.

  1. That’s a brilliant step. Keep at it. Maybe at this same cafe at first and then when it feels easier, you may fancy going into another one.
    One time I would not think if going in a cafe on my own. But I can now. I can’t remember when I started going in on my own without it worrying me
    as its been that long doing it. But at times, I take myself out of my comfort zone and go to a different cafe. It certainly does get easier. Just do it in small steps.

    Liked by 1 person

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