Taking steps to be healthier.

When I look in the mirror I always feel fat. I look online at clothes I think are gorgeous then talk myself out of buying them because I doubt that they’d look right on my body type. I eat my feelings when I’m sad and I never want to munch on a carrot stick it’s always chocolate. I have developed a seriously unhealthy relationship with food.

Since having a child I think I’ve let myself go that bit more. I struggle to eat normally at normal times. I have things that are quick and instant for me to eat which can be eaten on the go or in under five minutes. I would never give Elijah what I eat in a day everyday so why would I put that food into myself? If I say to my family do it buy him chocolate why am I then eating a sharing bag a night?

My exercise routine is non existent. I did go through a stage of running and I loved it but since it’s become colder and darker it’s more of a struggle to want to run in the dark around the countryside alone. My only excercise now is chasing Elijah round soft play or pushing his buggy round all day (a workout in itself I know).

My mental health has deteriorated and I find myself falling back into my safety net of Facebook, Instagram and Twitter mindlessly scrolling for hours to distract myself of the reality of real life. I find myself doing anything I can to stop myself feeling and end up distracting myself with the most stupid of things and making too many plans exhausting myself with all the social interaction.

So what am I doing about it? Well I’ve just put some weight on again. And I feel horrid about it. I worked so hard to go down clothes sizes and I’ve just let myself slip back again. I will not allow myself to continue to be unhappy with my body. I have developed reflux recently and after working in endoscopy for 3 years I know I need to get myself better before I damage myself. So today I joined slimming world (I know how overrated) and I’ve done a online shop and ordered nothing that is junk food. The family meals I cook will be slimming world but the boys will have bigger versions with more fatty products. I am meal planning everything I eat down to my breakfast to get into a routine and also changing it up everyday. I’m going to get back into couch to 5k and do my home workout dvd and YouTube videos. I am also going to take a detox of my personal social media. I will still be blogging as I find it therapeutic and I will use my Instagram for my blog as I only follow lovely bloggers and friends so I feel no need for competition or to judge myself or others which is something f I hate that I do. I will be avoiding the news as the comments and headlines upset me. I will take my time getting back into cooking which something I’ve always loved and cooking healthy meals will be a positive change. I’ll start reading and getting back into my personal care routing as being in a bad spot has seriously affected how I look and feel about myself.

So here’s to change whether I stick to it or not. But let’s hope I stick to it and become a healthier, happier me. Because after all we should feel happy in ourselves because we are all slaying life just by simply fighting to live another day.

4 thoughts on “Taking steps to be healthier.

  1. I no what you mean I have put on weight since my bear came along. We love baking so always got cake in the house. I lost weight for my wedding but he left me before it and so put it all back on when we broke up so I just comfort ated all the time. I joined slimming world and have let it slide but we can do it together babes 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Good luck with you weight lose.i also have also had troubles with eating too much and added weight from eating to many sardines (tinned) and also the small smiling frozen potatoes. I also like pizza to much. Good luck for the slim world I suggest you go there and have nice words ready to say to people who maybe no lose weight that time and feel fat and like loser. Good luck and well done

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thankyou for your kind words. I will try this time because it’s no longer for my body image but for my mental and physical health now. I personally can’t face groups as my social anxiety and body image issues would be too much and force me into eating before or after a meeting depending how it would go! Maybe one day when I’m stronger in myself but for now let’s kick our chubby tummy’s to the side! X

      Like

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