I know it’s not the most upbeat subject to talk about but I personally feel when you don’t talk about your feelings they spiral and get worse. Mental health discussions are ok and my inbox is always open!
What is mum guilt? Well it’s kind of a standard mothers set themselves to kind of basically be super woman. To be this domestic goddess who makes homemade nutritious meals from scratch every meal and never ever gets stressed or have a down day. It is IMPOSSIBLE not to feel a element of mum guilt especially in a generation of social media. I find social media a great tool and a good escape from the works around ya but I cannot lie there is many times i scroll through and think I’m not as good as these mothers. It can make you feel incredibly alone and down and sometimes you just can’t help it!
I will see a mother putting on Instagram that she lives this seemingly beautiful life and her children never misbehave and she has time to do everything and everything is done solo. Of course they leave out the bits where they’re children are laying on the floor in the street screaming at the pavement because they don’t know why they’re mad over something or that they do not always cook from scratch and dare I say it buy frozen food sometimes! I am always left with this guilt when Elijah is a picky eater that he’s not eating enough veg and fruit. As a baby he was incredibly good at eating fruit and veg and now all of the sudden certain colours such as green will not be touched and if I blend it into something the boy has some sixth sense and can tell without seeing or eating it. I feel awful if I spend too much time cleaning the house and not playing with him or visa versus the house is a mess.
I worry am I taking my son out enough to socialise with other children and is that stunting his emotional and social growth? He used to go to nursery two days a week until July when I stopped working and now I feel like am I depriving him of those social skills. Yet I’m out the house at least 4 days a week to see other children and friends and family to make sure he get social interaction. In the same heartbeat I am exhausted and emotionally drained as-well. If I am tired I still go ahead with plans to go out and feel like I seem moody and apologise to people and I’m not my bubbly self which I feel he’ll pick on. I also worry am I taking him out too much is he tired. Should we stay in today? I worry am I being moody today with him or is it just me?
Do I let him watch to much tv and use my phone too much? Does it make me a bad mother? In reality it doesn’t and he barely watches anything unless we are on bus, changing nappys or having some down time. Is it really any different to when we where stuck in front of tvs when we where children because I remember every minute at home being in front of a tv.
I worry so I spoil him to much and he have to many toys and treats and also do I not buy him enough?
I think the thing I struggle with the most with mum guilt is the quite simple fact of comparing myself to others. It’s something I don’t think I ever did before falling pregnant but I hate that I do. It’s so difficult not to and to always feel you’re not a good mum when you try your best. When it makes you feel sad you’re trying your best but is your best really good enough? Who knows. But what I do know mums is NO mother is better than YOU. Every mother is good in their own ways and you are doing nothing right or wrong just trying to survive and raise a child. You are keeping a life alive while also teaching that child every single last thing so that they can learn how to become a adult one day and do the same thing to their future children. Build yourself up and build others up you’ve got this you mother!