Don’t judge my toddlers meltdown I’m doing my best!

Don’t judge my toddlers meltdown I’m doing my best!

I shouldn’t feel a need to explain myself when my child has a meltdown. You see my child is one. He cannot understand what is right or wrong yet as he is still learning. Everything is new and he is gathering and learning new information everyday and using that to become a person. He gets angry when he cannot be understood by others or get his own way. I mean who wouldn’t? Shouting the same thing at someone and they still don’t give you what you want or say no? It’s like going for dinner and someone saying no to everything you want and you don’t know how to react. He will try to communicate with me and everyone around him with the only mean of communication he has ever known since the womb which is to cry. If he cry’s he knows he will get what he wants. Be it food, a cuddle or anything atall he knows he will get what he wants. But he is older now. People judge him more when he throws something he doesn’t want on the floor. Nobody would of judged him a year ago as a precious baby throwing something. He looks silly when he screams and cry’s on the floor because he doesn’t want to go in his pram or has decided he doesn’t want to walk anymore. He’s tired but he can not communicate that with you. You just guess what he wants until you understand what he wanted all along.

It’s hard on the mother too. The mother has probably dealt with a ton of these tantrums before today’s and is exhausted from the guessing games. The mother try’s everything to persuade him to behave such as snacks, water, cuddles, toys and to try and explain at times when he is not aloud something why to sort of bargain good behaviour. The mum is drained and is very nervous when in public. Not because of their child’s behaviour as this happens at home constantly because it is their safe place, but because when they are out people stare. People stare and talk and loudly moan and make the mother feel like pure shit. It’s quite normal to feel ashamed when someone is making a dig at you but you shouldn’t be. Being a mother is bloody hard work and raising a child to be a responsible, kind and well behaved child is even harder. If you see the mother trying her best just cary on your day and ignore them. They don’t need eyes and to feel the heat of embarrassment .They are already struggling with the feeling of their eyes tearing up and the lump in their throat growing larger the louder and more aggravated a tantrum gets. It’s so damn hard for the mother. The mother also does not need you getting involved and undermining her and making things worse and harder to control so just try to back off and ignore what’s going on as quite frankly it’s nobody’s business.

Trying out twinnings cold infuse (not a paid partnership).

Trying out twinnings cold infuse (not a paid partnership).

I keep seeing these teabag looking fruit infusers everywhere so today I thought why not and bite the bullet. Me being me always goes overtop and brought loads just in case I liked them!

I do normally enjoy water but sometimes it can taste a bit boring as I live in a VERY hard water zone we are talking rescaling kettle every week hard water. So to stop me reaching for a can of Pepsi-max or juice I thought let’s give this a whirl as I have 9000 water bottles I decided to add one more to my collection and brought a glass one. One I won’t taste the plastic and something better for the environment plus it’s cute af. So how do they work? Well the same as a tea bag! Drop in your water shake every now and then during the five minutes and then shake again and leave it in. You do not have to buy there bottle as my friend has one and says it’s basically the same thing.

The ingredients are herbal and complement each other well and the best thing is it’s sugar free so good for the teeth and my diet! I quite like the fact that the bottle is recyclable aswell and the fruitbags all decompose at some point. Being eco friendly is always a plus and using in a reusable water bottle makes the experience even better!

So far I’ve only had the rose lemonade and it tastes really nice it’s not to sweet and is like a lightly flavoured squash. You can tell it’s better for you that a fizzy that’s for sure! I can’t wait to try the rest now!

Mum guilt is real.

Mum guilt is real.

I know it’s not the most upbeat subject to talk about but I personally feel when you don’t talk about your feelings they spiral and get worse. Mental health discussions are ok and my inbox is always open!

What is mum guilt? Well it’s kind of a standard mothers set themselves to kind of basically be super woman. To be this domestic goddess who makes homemade nutritious meals from scratch every meal and never ever gets stressed or have a down day. It is IMPOSSIBLE not to feel a element of mum guilt especially in a generation of social media. I find social media a great tool and a good escape from the works around ya but I cannot lie there is many times i scroll through and think I’m not as good as these mothers. It can make you feel incredibly alone and down and sometimes you just can’t help it!

I will see a mother putting on Instagram that she lives this seemingly beautiful life and her children never misbehave and she has time to do everything and everything is done solo. Of course they leave out the bits where they’re children are laying on the floor in the street screaming at the pavement because they don’t know why they’re mad over something or that they do not always cook from scratch and dare I say it buy frozen food sometimes! I am always left with this guilt when Elijah is a picky eater that he’s not eating enough veg and fruit. As a baby he was incredibly good at eating fruit and veg and now all of the sudden certain colours such as green will not be touched and if I blend it into something the boy has some sixth sense and can tell without seeing or eating it. I feel awful if I spend too much time cleaning the house and not playing with him or visa versus the house is a mess.

I worry am I taking my son out enough to socialise with other children and is that stunting his emotional and social growth? He used to go to nursery two days a week until July when I stopped working and now I feel like am I depriving him of those social skills. Yet I’m out the house at least 4 days a week to see other children and friends and family to make sure he get social interaction. In the same heartbeat I am exhausted and emotionally drained as-well. If I am tired I still go ahead with plans to go out and feel like I seem moody and apologise to people and I’m not my bubbly self which I feel he’ll pick on. I also worry am I taking him out too much is he tired. Should we stay in today? I worry am I being moody today with him or is it just me?

Do I let him watch to much tv and use my phone too much? Does it make me a bad mother? In reality it doesn’t and he barely watches anything unless we are on bus, changing nappys or having some down time. Is it really any different to when we where stuck in front of tvs when we where children because I remember every minute at home being in front of a tv.

I worry so I spoil him to much and he have to many toys and treats and also do I not buy him enough?

I think the thing I struggle with the most with mum guilt is the quite simple fact of comparing myself to others. It’s something I don’t think I ever did before falling pregnant but I hate that I do. It’s so difficult not to and to always feel you’re not a good mum when you try your best. When it makes you feel sad you’re trying your best but is your best really good enough? Who knows. But what I do know mums is NO mother is better than YOU. Every mother is good in their own ways and you are doing nothing right or wrong just trying to survive and raise a child. You are keeping a life alive while also teaching that child every single last thing so that they can learn how to become a adult one day and do the same thing to their future children. Build yourself up and build others up you’ve got this you mother!

Our typical routine at 21 months.

Our typical routine at 21 months.

Edging ever closer to the terrible twos and firmly set in the tantrum stage a routing is crucial to help avoid some tantrums when we can. If you’re like me and enjoy reading how others parent so I can pick and choose what works for others to try with my little one.

Morning routine:

Every morning we wake at 7 am. It used to be 6 am so I’m loving the lay in even if some days I wake before him. I come into his room and we make his bed and tidy his room if he’s made a little mess. We go downstairs and change his nappy and then have breakfast. He comes into kitchen and chooses toast or cereal as I offer him both and he can say both. He stands and waits and then goes to sit in his chair. I bring his milk with vitamins in and breakfast in and he will sit and eat his breakfast. I sit and chat to him then we wipe up and walk together to the bathroom. I’ve started introducing the toilet as he seems less scared then the potty as he sees me sit on it sometimes so he sits on potty for five minutes and then washes his hands and brushes his teeth with support. By 8 am we are all clean and he’s not quite ready for potty training yet so I’m trying to introduce it as much as possible but he will normally poo and tell me after every damn time I put his pull-ups on haha! We change nappy again and then we have some play together. We play with his cars and race and then cook In his kitchen a very questionable meal. After that we read a few story’s and do his flash cards. If I can rate one thing that’s helped Elijahs language it is the flash cards and books we read everyday. I make sure he gets atleast 25 minuites of book time each day which we read to him.

Afternoon routine:

Elijah then has independent play while I normally clean house up or I sit watching tv for a minute to relax. He will normally just go through his toy box and play with what he fancy’s and if he wants to play with me he’ll bring a toy over to me. At the moment Elijahs a bit hit and miss with naps sometimes he’ll nap and sometimes he won’t. I try to put him for a nap everyday at 11 am and if he doesn’t nap within twenty minuites or cry’s I bring him down. And give up on that one. If he does nap he’ll normally nap till 12:30 where he’ll wake and we will come down and I’ll make him lunch. After lunch we wash hands at the sink. Again independent play and then I will join in and we’ll do themed play like colouring, stickers or anything play dough.

Evening routine:

If he is particularly tired he will normally have a nap for a hour at 3 but I only put him down for this nap If he shows signs of being tired. I start cooking dinner everyday at 4pm. His dad is normally home so they play together while I cook if not I’ll let him watch something he wants on tv. Dinner is normally on the table for 5pm and I cook different things everyday from Italian to Mexican so that he doesn’t get bored of anything or into the habit of same thing every night. We sit together at the table on his booster seat. If we have friends over his high chair is used instead. We use a placemat and a open cup and knife and fork at dinner time he is quite good with spoons and forks but sometimes he gets excited and forgets to use his cutlery. I typically dish up unless it’s soup or stew onto a plate as cools down quicker and less tantrums while he waits! We’ve taught him sign language and the words all done to tell us when he’s finished so he communicates he’s done and puts his food on his plate that’s spilled and hands back to us. We then wipe up and go and wash hands or run a bath. We don’t bath him every day due to sensitive skin so days he doesn’t bath we wipe him over with a nighttime wash cloth which he doesn’t seem to kind. We sit him on the toilet again for five minuites as that’s when he passes a bowel movement but sometimes he doesn’t pass one so we put nighttime pull ups on wash hands and brush teeth. We then walk back to living room where we moisturise and then go up to his room to get changed. We come back down unless he’s tired to play with toys for half hour then go back upstairs. We read a story and put his pjs on. If he is tired after bath we put him to bed at 6. If not we take him up between 6:30 and 7. We tuck him in with his teddy and turn the lights off and then he will normally sleep through the night till the morning. One thing we have not changed since 6 months old is going to bed at 7pm as he has barely struggled to sleep through the night and I think it’s because we’ve always kept a bedtime routine from food times to going to bed time. If we are out we try and keep as close to a schedule as we can and it’s very rare he has a late night. One day we may let him stay up later but considering how little he naps he needs that big sleep and it also gives us parents a break and time to tidy up and relax.

What is your daily routine right now? Do you find your child sticks to a routine? Let me know bellow! Comment, follow and subscribe for more!

Wedding talk: Part one – venue choice.

Wedding talk: Part one – venue choice.

As my photos are primarily all of our wedding day I thought it would be a good topic to explore with you all. So here we go sit back and relax and if you have any questions at all please do comment or directly email me and I will be more than happy to help as much as I can. This wedding talk will be in several parts so lots of information is to follow which may help if you love wedding planning or just all things weddings!

I’ve always known I wanted to marry James. From when we started dating I knew he was the one and someone I would be honoured to one day call my husband. For me personally I have never thought of getting married as just a need for a party it’s always been something personal for me. It’s been about being his wife being able to have his surname and take the ultimate leap of faith. I remember spending years joking are you gonna ask me to marry you today and both chuckling and smiling away when he would say soon. I’ll leave the engagement story for another day as it’s quite a cute little story. When he asked me I was super happy and The happiest id ever been. At first I didn’t want to rush getting married I wanted to enjoy that short time when you where engaged and we always knew when we where ready we would get married on our anniversary of when we got together.

I felt slightly pressured when pregnant which only happened 4 months after we got engaged to get married so it would be easier on birth certificate exetera but when we started looking at venues we really didn’t feel the time was right, we where supper stressed and looking at places we hated as it needed to be quick and other people got involved and that caused a great deal of stress so we decided to put it off. Around August last year just before our little guy was nearly one we decided to look properly.

We looked at quite a few venues. We looked at big flashy barns and registry offices. We looked for small and big. We saw some venues on hotels where the decor made me want to vomit and venues that made my eyes water at the price for nothing special where all my guests would have to drive too. So after months of research and looking around we decided to look at a venue which was a very old venue and perfect for what we wanted it was very rustic and has character so we booked it that day for our anniversary this year and got to it. This venue was also the place we once went for a desert on the first night James told me he loved me so had a bit of a special place in our heart.

Some tips for finding a venue…

  • Decide where you want to get married. Do you want to get married abroad where a lot of people will not come and can sometimes cause arguments with those who feel left out.
  • Do you want to invite everyone you know or just your closest friends. From that you can look into venues to your size and budget.
  • Budget! Do you need to spend a fortune for one day? Or do you want to show off and have a massive party for everyone you know.
  • Reviews. Check the reviews and speak to people about what they have said about getting married there.
  • Think about your style. When you are choosing a venue you need it to go with your style. If you’re going for a vintage look you need somewhere that matches that. If you’re going for a rustic style you can’t very well get married in a pub as the decorations just won’t go.
  • Look at the good bad and the ugly. This will help you decide what you like and hate and will help make your choice better.
  • Don’t loose your head stay calm. It’s your day and things will happen when they happen there is no rush.

Once we found the venue and we decided it was for us we decided on our style more. We looked into flowers and decorations to dress the area. I hired a florist for artificial flowers as didn’t want real so that I could keep my flowers and my bridesmaids and some guests got them as gifts. I primarily brought table bits from the range, dunelm, hobby craft, Etsy and Amazon. All my friends said how chilled I was about the whole thing. I just decided on things I liked and brought them as I liked them. I didn’t put stress on things and just mixed and matched bits all on a budget and if we liked something more we returned bits and replaced with better bits we liked more.

We brought doughnuts the day before our wedding and made a doughnut wall with boxes underneath to refill them. We made our own pick and mix table with boxes of sweets with tongs and mr and Mrs pick and mix bags to let guests choose more food. We had a low key bbq as it’s something everyone enjoyed and was easy to cater for different needs such as vegetarian and coeliac. We had it at 4pm so it was a early tea and pick and mix later and doughnuts filled the guests up. There was no need to spend another load of money on a buffet where most of the food goes to waste. Our ceremony was at 2 so guests could eat at 12 and arrive from 1 before they came so guests where happy all day. We picked colours we liked for lights in the room and fairy lights. We picked how we wanted the room ordered too. We didn’t want a head table as we are all family and friends and there was no need to put family above other family to have them on a certain table. We put a rough schedule out and allowed parents to come and go as please and plenty of toys and activity’s set ready for them to enjoy all day and adult board games aswell as quiet rooms for mothers to breastfeed or calm down time for children. All together our entire budget was 7k including everything from hair and make up to venue and entertainment and we hit just under budget. All our guests had a fabulous time and it was a day filled with only our nearest and dearest and just a fantastic day.

Some photos of our venue below. Subscribe and follow for more!

Hello and welcome.

Hello and welcome.

Hello and welcome to our page. This is a blog which will primarily be run by me Charlie-Jane. This blog will be one which isn’t stuck to one specific genre. I will blog about anything and everything from family life, mental health, to reviews on skincare. I will always be a honest blogger and give honest opinions and try to not sugar coat life as there is no such thing as the perfect parent/child/human. So if you’re looking for a bit of everything this is the blog for you!

A bit about the Hazelwoods.

My name is Charlie-Jane and I am currently 24 years young. I’ve worked in many different jobs from a teaching assistant of small reception age children to working with asylum seekers/youth offenders and learning difficulty to working on a busy ward. I’ve recently became a stay at home mum to look after our son after deciding that what was best for my mental health and our family. My husband is 25 six months older than me. He is a small business owner and now the main earner for us. We met when we where teenagers through friends but didn’t start seeing each other romantically till we where 19. We started dating and fell in love almost immediately and the rest is history. We recently got married and we brought our own house a few years ago which we LOVE decorating. We had our son Elijah almost 2 years ago and you can say he is quite the character! He’s very energetic and it’s non stop chasing after him and trying to teach him everything he needs to know to learn to be a person! We live together in a terraced house just on the outskirts of a small town in the countryside. We live locally to lots of forests and rivers and beaches so we always have lovely countryside drives and places to visit.

So welcome to our blog! And if you want to contact me at any point look at the contact section of my blog! Subscribe or follow for more posts and updates!